


The Nanny

by Sdktrs12



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nanny, Babysitting, Breaking and Entering(kind of), Confessions, Divorce, Drinking, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Jealousy and Insecurities, Lies and deceptions, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Death and Funeral, Minor Character Death, Recreational Drug Use, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unsafe Sex, destruction of property
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:41:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 65,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sdktrs12/pseuds/Sdktrs12
Summary: Beth is a nanny who is set up with a new family through an agency.Rio and Marcus are that new family.Lots of domestic fluff and angst ensues.Tags and ratings will change.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Comments: 328
Kudos: 728





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another AU because I literally have no self control.  
> Fair warning: Beth does start off married to Dean in this fic.  
> But does she stay married?  
> Guess we'll see.

Beth stares blankly at her reflection in her vanity mirror. 

She vaguely registers Dean’s voice, a constant buzzing noise in the background of her life, something that has really been... _grating_ on her nerves as of late. 

Beth’s not sure when it happened, can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment when she went from loving him to tolerating him. 

And loving might be too strong of a word. Having a fond affection for feels more accurate. 

And really, it could’ve been as early as when they were first dating and he immediately pushed the idea of marriage on her, even though they were both absurdly young. 

Or maybe when, once they were married, he tried to dissuade her from furthering her education by attending college. 

It might even have happened right around the time he implied her sole purpose in their relationship, in their marriage, was to be in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, like women as a whole hadn’t made any progress in society since the 50’s. 

And really, in Dean’s world, they hadn’t. 

And she doesn’t necessarily place the blame squarely on him, he _is_ a victim of circumstance. 

His dad is a misogynistic man-child, who likes to get handsy with his employees, while his mom runs the household in a vodka and vicodin induced fervor. 

To an outsider, they are the perfect cookie cutter family. To an insider, it’s hell. 

So, she supposes his ideals have been twisted and warped into something dark and ugly, but she had hoped time would have fixed things. 

She was wrong. 

Or at least, that’s what the credit card statement with the charge from a very expensive lingerie store (lingerie that most certainly had _not_ been for her) on it had implied. 

He’d always been desperate to follow in his father’s footsteps. And that was the thing with Dean—he was always consistently and horribly predictable in that regard. 

She should have known. 

Beth silently reaches her hands out to the jewelry box to her left, fingers looping around the pearl necklace Dean had bought her for their five year anniversary last month. 

They hadn’t even made it a decade before it all went to shit. 

Beth brings the delicate string of pearls up to her neck, resisting the strong urge to just _yank_ on either end and relish in the destruction of them. 

She’s startled out of her reverie when Deans hands slip over hers, taking the necklace from her and she tries not to flinch at his touch. 

“Let me help you with that.” He grins at her in the mirror, moving her hair out of the way before he secures the clasp, letting go of the necklace and placing his hands on her shoulders. 

They feel heavy, awkward, unnatural against her and she grips the edge of the vanity to keep from squirming away. 

“You are so beautiful, Bethie.” 

“Thank you.” She replies softly, forcing herself to return his smile. She clears her throat and shifts in her chair, gently moving out of his grasp. He lets his hands fall from her shoulders and steps back and Beth exhales quietly. “I have to get going, don’t want to be late for this interview.” She pushes the chair back and stands up, looking at herself one more time in the mirror. 

She dresses pretty much the same for most of her Nanny position interviews. Minimal makeup, hair down in loose curls, business casual attire. Usually she’s not just meeting the parent during these, she’s also meeting the child. She likes to dress to make both parties comfortable. Professional enough for the parents, but casual enough for the kids. 

She’s wearing dark denim skinny jeans and a hunter green and blush pink floral blouse with brown ankle boots. Easy to play around with the kids while still looking presentable. 

“Oh right, you’re meeting with that guy tonight. What’s his name? Ryan or Reagan...” 

“ _Rio_.” 

Dean snaps his fingers, pointing at her and smiling like she’s just won some trivia game. “Ah, yes, right. How old’s the kid?” 

“Marcus is six.” Beth’s told him all of this information a few times already, but Dean seems to have trouble retaining anything related to her job. Has trouble retaining anything related to her at all. She reaches over and grabs the handles of her tote bag where it’s hooked on the side of the chair. 

“Why does this guy want to meet so late anyway?” 

“I don’t know, he said this was the only time he could fit it in his schedule.” 

“Hasn’t he canceled on you a bunch of times already? I don’t know Bethie, kind of sounds like a flake to me. Should just cut your losses and try another family.” 

And there was no way in hell she was doing that. 

The agency had sent this family a slew of applicants and they’d rejected every single one. Beth had just been freed up from another family and as soon as they’d sent hers in, they’d asked for an interview. 

Beth was way too curious now, nothing short of an act of God would keep her from going. 

“I’m not sure how late I'll be, so you shouldn’t wait up.” Beth informs him, ignoring his last statement completely. 

Beth knows this’ll probably only take an hour or two tops, but she’s already made plans to grab drinks with Annie and Ruby after and she doesn’t feel like arguing with Dean about it. 

“I have to head back into the dealership anyway, lot of paperwork to finish up. Probably be pretty late myself.” Dean says, turning away from her and heading towards the bathroom. 

‘ **I bet** ,’ she thinks to herself, staring daggers into the back of his head. He closes the bathroom door and she startles a bit from her angry fog. 

She doesn’t bother calling out that she’s leaving or say goodbye, just slings her bag over her shoulder and walks out. 

\----- 

“I don’t know Annie, maybe I am overreacting. Maybe the underwear _is_ for me, he just...hasn’t given it to me yet. He’s probably waiting for the right occasion--” 

“Beth, please. He’s banging the receptionist at work. His dad and him are probably tag teaming her. You know how much Dean loves to emulate his father.” 

“ _Gross, Annie_.” Beth scrunches up her nose, trying to push _that_ disgusting image out of her head. 

Beth’s sitting in her car outside of the address the Nannying Agency had sent her. It’s a tall brick inner city apartment building-- the complete opposite of her suburbia lifestyle. She’d left too early in her rush to get away from Dean and now she has time to burn before this meeting. Which is why she’s now on this torturous phone call with her sister. 

“I’m just sayin’. If it was me, he’d be out on his ass by now.” 

“Yeah, well. It’s not you.” 

There’s a silence that stretches out after that and Beth thinks maybe she’d been too harsh. She knows Annie means well, but she has no idea what it’s like to be married. To have to work at making things... _work_. 

“Maybe I should wait on taking this job, stay home for a little while, try things his way--” 

“Beth, I swear to god if you do any of those things, I will come over to that house and burn everything to the ground myself. You are better than that bullshit. Don’t cut yourself off at the knees to make him feel tall.” 

Beth lets out a long sigh as she pushes her head back against the headrest. “I just—I don’t want this--” she inhales sharply, trying to focus on her words and not her emotions, “I’ve tried so hard _not_ to be her, you know?” Their mother’s face flashes through her mind and she pushes it away. 

“Beth, you couldn’t be her if you tried. You’re too kind and sweet and caring. It’s pretty obnoxious, generally.” 

Beth lets out a sharp laugh at that, squeezing her eyes shut briefly before checking the time on the car’s dashboard. 

“Alright, I should head inside.” She sighs, turning the car off and grabbing her bag. 

“Call me when you’re done and Ruby and I will meet you for drinks.” 

They say their goodbyes and Beth hangs up her phone, setting it to silent and tossing it into her bag. 

Beth steps out of her car, locking it up and then stopping to lean against the drivers side door for a moment. She breathes in deeply, counting to ten before letting the air slowly leave her lungs. She pushes all thoughts of Dean and her mother aside as she straightens up and hurriedly crosses the street to the apartment building. 

She punches in the 4 digit code she’d been given into the electronic panel on the side of the door and waits. A few seconds later the door buzzes and she walks in, silently chanting the apartment number in her head as she heads for the stairs on her left. The apartment is on the third floor and she glances around at each door she passes by, until she comes to the right one at the end of the hall. 

Beth straightens her clothing and runs her fingers through her hair a few times before knocking. 

It’s only a minute later that the door swings open and Beth is temporarily caught off guard by the man standing in front of her. She’s not sure, exactly, what she’d been expecting—maybe a carbon copy of all of the other average looking middle aged fathers that she’s used to meeting—but this man...he is _not_ that. 

There is nothing average or middle aged about him. He looks young, her age or even younger maybe, and he is all tall dark and sharp angles, with a massive bird tattoo gracing his neck. 

And she briefly wonders if maybe she has the wrong apartment or if this isn’t the dad, but maybe the hot uncle, but then he’s smirking at her, slowly looking her up and down before saying “You must be Elizabeth. I’m Rio.” in an incredibly deep husky voice, as he steps back to let her in, and Beth tries to pull herself together. She’s worked for attractive people before. None quite as attractive as him, but still. 

“Uhm, yes, hi!” She stutters over her words a little as she steps inside, wincing at the high pitch of her own voice. Jesus, when had _that_ ever happened before? 

“C’mon in.” Rio turns and leads her further into the apartment, and Beth realizes it’s actually an open space loft and it is absolutely gorgeous. “Thanks for bein’ so patient about havin’ to reschedule. My work days can be crazy sometimes.” 

“Oh, that’s perfectly fine. That’s what I’m supposed to be here for, right?” She hears him hum in agreement and she smiles. Her eyes scan over every surface, taking in the clean lines, the pops of greens, the art and picture frames, as she trails behind him. She notes a closed off space that looks like Marcus’s room and another open bedroom space further inside the loft. He stops in the kitchen, gesturing to the kitchen island and the barstools lining it and Beth pulls one out, sliding onto it and setting her bag down on top of the island. 

“Are those dinosaurs?” Rio asks suddenly, pointing to her bag, and it catches Beth off guard for a moment, because she’s had the bag for so long, she always forgets about the pattern on it. It’s a tan canvas tote bag with a black T-Rex dinosaur motif. Annie had gotten it for her when she’d graduated, telling her the kids would “lose their shit over it”. And, admittedly, they did. 

“Yes. It was a gift from my sister. It’s always a big hit with the kids.” 

Rio nods in agreement. “Marcus would love that.” 

“He a big T-Rex fan?” 

“He’s mostly into the herbivores right now. Been watchin’ alotta ‘Land before time’.” 

“It’s a classic.” Beth points out. 

Rio hums in agreement. “You want somethin’ to drink? Tea? Vodka?” He asks, gesturing behind him to a vast assortment of containers and a few fancy looking bottles of alcohol. 

Beth’s mouth drops open a little and her face must be conveying the slight shock she’s feeling because Rio laughs and it, rather unfairly, dials all that handsome up to one hundred. 

“Have a drink, Elizabeth. I promise I won’t dock any points.” 

“It’s just Beth.” She says, finally finding her voice, before quickly glancing around the apartment. 

“Marcus aint here. He’s at his moms.” 

Okay, so this is a bit unconventional. “Oh.” 

“I like to meet people alone first before introducing him.” 

Beth nods. “That makes sense.” 

Rio turns around, moving to the cupboards, pulling down two crystal tumblers. “So, vodka or rum?” 

Beth rolls her eyes, leaning back in her chair. Okay, fine. “You got any bourbon?” 

Rio turns his head and shoots her a grin. “Bourbon coming right up.” 

He pours her a healthy amount of bourbon and himself what looks like vodka and brings both glasses over to the island. He settles himself into the stool next to her and Beth resists the urge to scoot her chair back. He feels too close, all of his... _everything_ is a bit overwhelming. 

“So, _Elizabeth_ , tell me about yourself.” 

Beth flushes at the use of her full name and she knows he’s doing it to rile her up, but she’s not sure why. Is it a test of her patience? She has a feeling it wouldn’t take long to lose hers with him. 

She shifts slightly in her seat, clearing her throat. Here goes nothing. “Well, I have an Associate's Degree in Early Childcare Development and I’m planning on getting my Bachelor’s Degree next. I’ve completed the CDA program and I’m also CPR and first aid certified--” Rio holds his hand up and Beth pauses, confused. He’s regarding her with quiet amusement and she’s not sure what she’s said that he finds so funny. 

“Nah, the agency sent me all that bullshit.” (Beth raises her eyebrow at calling her qualifications for watching _his child_ ‘bullshit’) “Tell me somethin’ I don't know.” 

And Beth just blinks at him because—what? 

She searches his face for any clues, but he just stares blankly back. 

Alright, fine. 

She reaches over into her bag and pulls out the mini binder inside. “Well I know you get a lot electronically from the agency, but I always put together a paper copy as well, with some additional information.” She pushes it over to him and Rio looks back at her, eyebrow raised, the corner of his mouth twitching up. “There are some fun little factoids about me included in there.” His fingers _just_ miss hers as his hand slides over it and hers slides off. 

“Old school, huh?” He jokes, pulling it toward him and opening it up, flipping through the pages. Beth watches him, clocking every shift and change in his facial expression. For some reason she feels the need to seek his approval, to impress him with her organizational skills and her credentials. 

“This is all color coded and alphabetized.” He points out, and she nods, a little proudly. “You give this to all your families?” She nods again. He smiles as he closes it, pushing it aside as he leans forward, elbow propped up on the island top as he rests his chin in his hand. “Why don’t you tell me somethin’ that aint in that binder?” 

Beth lets out a tiny sigh. “I don’t...understand. What do you mean?” 

Rio huffs out a laugh as he straightens up, his tongue darting out to lick at his bottom lip and the thought of climbing into his lap to lick her own tongue over that bottom lip flashes through her head. 

What. The. Hell. 

“I mean, I’ve already seen all your professional info, I wanna know somethin’ personal. Somethin’ that’s just _you_.” 

Beth flushes at his words. At the curiosity, the actual interest, in his eyes. 

But what can she tell him? What does she have that’s just pure Beth? She feels like everything she has, is attached to someone else. To Dean. To Annie. To Ruby. Is there anything that’s really truly hers? 

“I--” She clears her throat, starts again, a little embarrassed, “I really enjoy playing the piano. I used to take lessons but I haven’t played in a really long time and... I miss it.” She doesn’t realize how true the statement actually is until the words leave her mouth and it doesn’t escape her notice that she’s never actually told anyone else that before. “My parents encouraged my passion for it when I was younger, but—eventually that stopped and I never found that encouragement again.” Or that passion, she leaves unspoken. Beth shrugs her shoulders a little, more to herself than to him, but Rio nods as he looks her over. 

He looks like he’s going to say something, maybe ask something else, but then his phone buzzes and he pulls it out of his back pocket. He apologizes and she shakes her head-- no big deal. His thumb flicks over the screen and Beth watches as he reads and then types something out. 

She takes a sip of her drink and closes her eyes as it goes down smoothly. Of course he has the good stuff. 

She continues watching him, focusing on his hands and how big and strong and capable they look. 

“So,” Rio pockets his phone, turning his attention back to her, “How long you been married?” 

Beth is caught off guard by the seemingly random question, but he’s looking pointedly at her hands, and she follows his line of sight to where she’s been twisting her ring around her finger without even realizing it. 

Beth loosens her fingers, dropping her hands into her lap. “Oh, uhm five years.” 

He hums a little as he takes a long drink from his glass. 

“You and Marcus’s mom...?” 

“Nah, she’s too good for me.” He chuckles and Beth smiles, taking another drink. She starts to relax, sinks back in the chair a little as she runs her fingers along the rim of her glass. 

“So, it’s just you and Marcus here?” 

“Are you phishin’ about my dating life, sweetheart?” 

Beth flushes as she splutters a little, tensing up again as she shakes her head. “No--god, I was just wondering--” 

“Relax, I’m jus’ playin’.” He grins, his eyes traveling over her again, this time following the spread of her blush down her chest. “Yeah, it’s just me an Marcus. His mom and I split custody 50/50. Normally she’d be able to take ‘im, but she’s goin’ back to work full time.” 

“And that’s where I come in.” She says, gesturing to herself and smiling. 

“Mhm.” He takes another sip from his glass, looking at her over the rim and Beth mirrors his actions. This is by far the... _strangest_ interview she’s ever been on. 

“There is something that I'm curious about...” She trails off, unsure if she should ask. 

“An what’s that?” He’s looking her over lazily, his whole vibe just so...laid back and chill and she wonders how he’s just... _like that_. 

The words bubble up out of her, rushing out and running all together. “Your family is the hardest one to be vetted for out of every other family in the agency. You have the strictest background checks, drug checks, and highest standards when it comes to experience and education. And you’ve never interviewed anyone else--” 

“Until you.” 

Beth ignores the way her heart skips at that. “Yes. Until me.” 

He just keeps looking at her, waiting for her to continue. To ask. 

“Why me?” 

Rio shrugs his shoulder, “There was just—somethin’ about you.” 

The moment stretches out between them and Beth tries to ignore the warm feeling spreading throughout her body at his words, because _hello_ , she’s here for a job interview to take care of his _child_. He’s being nice, he’s giving her a shot, and she’s too busy thirsting after him to care. 

And fuck, how is she also forgetting the fact that she’s _married_ as well. 

Beth clears her throat, fingers automatically twisting at her ring, and Beth sees him clock the movement, his eyes sticking on it for just a second longer than necessary. She lets go of the ring, reaching for the mini binder on the counter top instead, desperate for a distraction. 

“So, I'd love to hear more about Marcus and go over any questions you may have about my experience and educational background.” She forces her tone to be neutral and professional and Rio continues to regard her quietly for a moment before nodding. 

She can feel the shift in him then, the playfulness all but gone, and she’s annoyed at herself for hating it. 

From there on, their conversation is strictly professional. They both sip from their drinks as he browses through her binder again. She points things out and he asks questions and Beth starts to feel much more comfortable, even though she misses the flirtatiousness. This, she’s at least used to. 

She asks questions about Marcus, and Beth can sense his reluctance at having to disclose personal information about his son. He seems like a very protective father and it makes Beth’s heart clench. She slowly pulls more and more tidbits and stories out of him and she can see it when he relaxes into it, talking with more ease as he tells her a particularly funny story from Marcus’s birthday party last week. 

Beth’s snorting out a laugh, hand on her stomach as she leans forward, shoulders shaking, “I can’t wait to meet him.” She manages to get out between laughs. She lets out a breathless little sigh as she straightens up. She glances over at Rio, only to find him already staring at her appraisingly, and Beth’s laugh fades slowly. 

_Oh no_. 

Beth looks away quickly, consciously avoiding the ring on her finger as she clasps her hands tightly in her lap. 

“Aight, so here’s the deal,” Rio’s voice startles her a little and her head snaps up to look at him. “The hours are real shit but the pay is real good. When you wanna start?” 

And Beth can’t help snorting out another laugh at that as Rio grins at her. 

“That’s quite the sales pitch. I wonder why you haven’t found anyone else yet.” 

“I’ve never offered the job to anyone else.” He points out and Beth feels herself flush again. 

“Right.” 

“So, I promised I'd take Marcus to the park tomorrow afternoon. You should join us.” 

And it comes out of left field, throwing Beth off. “Join you?” She echoes faintly, a bit confused. 

“Yeah, get Marcus more comfortable with you before I start leavin’ ‘im with you for longer periods of time.” 

“Oh, you were serious about offering the job.” She says slowly. And seriously Beth, duh, get it together, she silently chides herself. 

"Well, yeah. Is that not what you came here for?" His voice is light and teasing. 

"Of course, yes. It's just--" This whole thing has been so _weird_. But she can't say that. "I'd love to join you two." She settles on instead. 

“So, I'll text you in the mornin’ then, yeah?” 

“Sounds good.” Beth stands, thinking this is a good place to end on. She gathers up her bag and he walks her to the door. Beth turns and holds out her hand automatically, a reflex from hundreds of other interviews. She realizes what a bad idea it is ( _for her_ ) to have him touch her, two seconds before his hand grasps hers and Beth feels like a jolt of electricity travels from her fingertips all the way up her arm and throughout the rest of her body. 

And god, she can’t be imagining this like, supremely ridiculous underlying tension that’s flowing between them right? 

“Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me.” She says, trying to act as normal as possible, but even she can feel the nervous energy vibrating off of her. 

“Not a problem.” He answers, his mouth tilted up in a half smile, like he’s genuinely amused by her awkwardness. 

“I really can’t wait to meet Marcus tomorrow.” She continues, and jesus, can she even make herself stop talking right now? 

“I’m sure he’ll really like you.” 

Beth smiles at that because it’s a really sweet thing for him to say. “Thank you.” 

Rio smiles back and then looks pointedly down between them and Beth’s eyes follow and she realizes she’s still holding his hand and she’s been squeezing it at his compliment. Beth drops it instantly, feeling heat spread across her face and down her chest as Rio takes his hand back, flexing his fingers a bit. 

“Sorry.” She mumbles, wondering when, exactly, the earth will save her from herself and just swallow her up already. 

“Nothin’ to be sorry bout.” Rio says and then he’s leaning into her and Beth’s eyes widen slightly as her heart beat kicks up a notch, but he’s just reaching past her toward the doorknob, twisting it and pulling the door open and Beth shifts to get out of the way, stumbling into him as she does before straightening herself up and taking a giant step back. 

Rio looks like he’s trying hard to suppress his laughter, probably doesn’t want to make her feel any worse about herself, which just actually really _does_ make her feel worse about herself. 

“I’m just--gonna go now. Bye!” She quickly steps around him and out the door, waving her hand out without looking back. She hears the door finally close as she reaches the steps and she practically runs down them and back out to her car. 

She whips her phone out as soon as she gets the door closed and the car started. 

“I need a drink. Now.” She says as soon as Annie picks up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I had these split into two shorter chapters, but decided to join them.  
> Hope the transition isn't too weird!  
> Also, sorry for the lack of Rio and Marcus in this chapter, I needed a scene with the OT3 and to reiterate how awful Dean really is haha.  
> It makes me so incredibly happy to see all the positive responses to this fic idea!  
> As always, you all are amazing.

“So, was this guy interviewing you for himself or for his kid?” Annie asks, playing with her empty shot glass. 

Beth rolls her eyes as she knocks back the shot of tequila Annie had insisted on ordering for all of them. 

She winces as it goes down, shivering a little at the taste. This was definitely not Rio’s bourbon. 

“He knows you’re married right?” Ruby asks, sipping on her own shot, grimacing a little each time and Beth sympathizes. 

“It’s better if you just do it all at once.” Beth says and Ruby looks absolutely disgusted at the idea. 

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Annie interjects and Beth turns to her. 

“About the liquor or about the dad?” 

“Either.” 

Ruby takes a deep breath and holds it as she quickly downs her shot and then immediately gags. 

Which makes Beth scrunch up her nose and Annie gag as well. “Ew, stop.” 

“Don’t ever order that crap again.” Ruby wheezes out, grabbing at her water and taking several long gulps. 

“ _Anyway_ , I wanna hear more about this _daddy_ \--” 

“Annie, _please_.” Beth groans at the same time Ruby points out, “She’s _married_.” 

Beth nods at that, “He even asked me about my marriage, kept staring at my ring.” 

Annie shrugs, like this information means nothing. “Maybe he’s into that. Some dudes love married women.” 

“Annie, he hired me to watch his kid and he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to mix business with...pleasure.” She blushes just thinking about it. 

“Yeah, it’s definitely mucho problemo to wanna bone your boss.” 

“I never said I wanted to bone him.” 

“Well, maybe you should.” 

“You _literally_ just said--” 

“I _meant_ , maybe you should pass on the job and jump on that d--” 

“ _Okay Annie_!” Ruby hisses, her eyes darting around the room. 

“You’re disgusting.” Beth says, “And I need more to drink.” 

“On it!” Annie chirps smacking her hands down on the table and pushing herself up. 

“No more shots!” Ruby calls out after her as she flounces off and Beth laughs. 

It fades a bit when Ruby turns back to her and reaches across the table to place her hand over Beth’s. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“I’m not sure,” She starts slowly, uncertainly, “Half of me thinks there’s no way it’s true and the other half thinks there’s no way it’s _not_ true.” 

“Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry. What are you going to do?” 

“Honestly, I'm not sure. All I have is a credit card statement and a suspicion. What if I’m wrong?” 

“I mean, I have my own doubts. Don’t nobody want Dean.” 

Beth snorts out a laugh, cocking her head to the side as she plays with her napkin. “He’s not always awful. He can be really sweet and funny. I think being coddled by his mom and railroaded by his dad just...set him on the wrong track. I keep trying to course correct but he...he’s just not getting it.” 

“Beth, a lot of people have crappy family stories, all of us included. A sad backstory doesn’t equal a redemption arc if it’s not earned.” Ruby squeezes Beth’s hand before letting go and leaning back in her seat, eyes looking over Beth’s shoulder. Beth turns her head to see Annie heading back with their drinks. 

“She really hates him, ya know.” Beth remarks, turning back around. 

Ruby raises her eyebrows as she nods her head. “Oh, I know.” 

Annie sets their drinks down on the table then slides back into her seat. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is, if you don’t want him, I’m single. I mean, super smokin’ hot with tattoos? I am _down_.” 

Beth groans again, squeezing her eyes shut as she drops her head into her hands. 

Ruby throws her head back and laughs as Annie lets out a giggly “What?!” 

“Maybe I should turn the job down. I don’t need the extra distraction right now.” 

Annie scoffs. “Oh, come on Beth, I’m sure your will power is strong enough to keep things strictly professional.” 

‘ **I don’t** ’, she thinks, lifting her head from her hands and reaching for her drink. 

“I think maybe all this cheating stuff with Dean is like, projecting itself onto me, and that’s why I keep thinking about Rio in a...sexual nature, or whatever.” She rushes that last part out, embarrassed to even be saying it. 

“Or maybe you just really need to get laid. When was the last time you got some anyway?” Annie furrows her eyebrows and then a second later her face scrunches up in disgust. “You know what, don’t answer that. I don’t want to imagine Deansie in bed.” 

And Beth hadn’t planned on answering that question anyway, because the answer was just too embarrassing. It’s been _weeks_ since her and Dean have been intimate. Beth straightens up as she really thinks back on it. No, it’s actually been _months_. Almost six months to be exact. And that realization is painful as it slowly sinks in. 

They’d stopped right around that last blown out argument they’d had about kids. 

Beth had just come back from her yearly exam and had mentioned stopping by the pharmacy to pick up her new script of birth control pills. 

( _“Or you could just stop taking them at all.” Dean had said casually and Beth had frozen in her tracks, blood running cold for a minute, before she shook herself out of it._

_“And then I'd be a hormonal mess.” She’d joked, continuing her way into the kitchen, hoping to end it at that. But Dean had just followed her._

_“Yeah, good practice for when you get pregnant. Pregnant women are always an emotional mess.”_

_And Beth had gritted her teeth as she turned away from him, busying herself with loading the sink of dirty dishes into the dishwasher. She’d asked him to do it before she left for her appointment, but of course, he’d put it off and now she was doing it._

_“I’m not sure that’s true.” She’d said, rinsing off a plate a little aggressively before putting it on the bottom rack._

_“Whatever, the point is, we should be trying for a family right now, we have all this empty space and it’s just the two of us.”_

_“I was perfectly fine renting that apartment on Sycamore, you’re the one who insisted we needed more space--”_

_“Because we do! Jesus Beth, we’re married now and there are certain things that are done in marriages.” He’d yelled, his voice making her flinch._

_Beth had set the mug in her hand down so hard in the sink, she’d almost cracked it. She’d slowly turned around, hostility rolling off her in waves, and for once Dean had actually been able to read her, throwing his hands up defensively as he continued. “Look, I love that you’re trying out this whole strong independent woman thing. I really do. It’s cute. But I think we’ve humored that notion long enough, am I right?” He’d paused to let out a little chuckle and Beth had seen red. “We both have our own little like, roles-- our own little duties to fulfill in this marriage.”_

_And Beth had felt a white hot fury build in the pit of her stomach, her hands balled into tight fists at her sides. “Oh? And what, **exactly** , are those?” She’d managed to grit out. _

_“You know, I take over my dad’s dealership when he retires this year and you stay here and make this place a home for me. For our kids.”_

_And Beth’s jaw had been clenched shut so hard, she couldn’t even manage any words._

_And Dean had taken her silence as submission, coming over and placing his hands on her arms, rubbing them in a way that made her skin crawl._

_“Look, all I want is for you to be happy, and I know having kids will make you happy.” He’d smiled down at her, his face open and genuine and like he just **believed** with his whole heart all of these things that he had said. And Beth had just nodded silently, letting him pull her into a hug as her arms stayed stiff at her sides. It wasn’t until he left a few minutes later to go watch something on the TV, and she slowly uncurled her fingers, that she noticed the crescent moon imprints her nails had dug into her palms, blood pin pricking each one. She hadn’t even felt it._) 

And it wasn’t like she didn’t want kids. She did. She loved kids, and Dean had gotten her right in that one regard; having them _would_ make her incredibly happy. They’d talked about starting a family numerous times over the years, but Beth had kept putting it off. Her mind and body rejecting the idea as not ready yet. 

But she knew, deep down, she just wasn’t ready with _Dean_. 

She’s not sure having _his_ children would make her happy. 

Every day he tried to have sex after their fight, Beth had been armed with an excuse, still feeling too upset with the way he had spoken to her, the things that he had said. And then he'd just stopped trying. And now she supposes that had earned her a cheating husband. 

And Beth suddenly feels exhausted at the thought. The anger is gone, doubt left in its wake, and she’s not sure she even wants to know anymore. Her love for Dean had become just as warped as his ideals over the years. It had been bent and stretched and twisted and then compacted into something so small, Beth struggled to find it. But, maybe it was still there. Maybe she just needed to nurture that tiny bit of connection they still had, maybe that just had to be enough. 

“Maybe I’m just meant to settle.” Beth says quietly, earning questioning looks from the two other women. “I don’t think I'll ever find a love like the one you have with Stan.” Beth finishes, looking over at Ruby and giving her a sad little smile. 

“Oh sweetie.” Ruby reaches over and wraps her arms around Beth’s shoulder and gives it a tight squeeze and Beth sniffs a little before straightening up, huffing out a small little laugh. “I’m fine.” 

Beth takes a long drink from her glass, trying to swallow down all of her emotions. 

“Well, there’s really only one thing to do at this point.” Annie declares and Beth doesn’t even bother asking what because she knows her sister is just going to blurt whatever it is out regardless. “We need evidence. We need hard, substantial evidence to nail him to the wall with.” 

“What if there is no evidence?” Beth sighs out. 

“Dean’s sloppy as fuck. Trust, if there’s something there, we’ll find it.” 

So, the three of them finish their drinks and then head back to Beth’s house, in search of clues. 

Dean is, of course, not at home. Which is the most obvious clue of all. 

They search Beth’s bedroom and they _do_ find a little box of condoms, but they’re not opened and Beth brings up the time she’d missed a bunch of her birth control pills and the doctor had told her they needed to use a back up method for any sex until she got back on track, but Dean had just guilted her into giving him head a few times for the duration anyway. So, the condoms weren’t exactly hard evidence. 

They’d moved on to his office next, searching through his desk and the big filing cabinet against the far wall, again finding nothing. 

The small filing cabinet next to the desk was locked up tight though and they all gather around, staring down at it. 

“Hm.” Annie strokes her finger over her chin, eyeing it, like if she concentrates hard enough it’ll just pop open. 

“He has a million keys on his key ring, I'm sure one unlocks this.” Beth says, yanking on the handles again, just because. 

“Can you get to it?” Ruby asks, kicking the bottom of the cabinet with the side of her foot just as Annie smacks it, hard, on top with the flat of her hand. The cabinet makes a loud popping noise and they all hold their breath, but nothing happens. 

“Well damn.” Ruby and Annie say at the same time and Beth giggles. 

“This is dumb.” Beth turns to them, shaking her head. “I can _maybe_ get to the keys, but he normally keeps them at work, so I'd have to go in there.” 

“We can totally stealth our way in there. We can be like, Charlie’s Angels.” Annie jumps up and down a little, clapping her hands and Beth laughs and shoves at her arm. 

“ _Or_ , I could just walk into his office and... _take them_.” 

“That’s no fun.” Annie pouts. 

“None of this is fun, Annie.” Ruby scolds and Annie throws her hands up and stomps out of the office. 

“Maybe I should take her with me. It would make her week to steal something from Dean and annoy him in the process.” Beth says as she turns to follow Annie out and Ruby files out after her too. 

Annie’s flopped down on the couch, remote in hand as she turns the TV on and starts flipping through channels. 

Ruby settles in next to her and Beth stands off to the side of the coffee table, looking down at them. “Will you guys stay here tonight? I don’t know if Dean’s coming home at all tonight and...” Beth trails off, shrugging her shoulder in lieu of finishing her sentence. 

“Of course honey, whatever you need.” Ruby smiles up at her, Annie nodding her head distractedly as she stays focused on the TV. Ruby reaches out and pats the cushion next to her and Beth grins as she moves to the couch, plopping down just as Annie decides on a channel. 

Beth pulls the throw down from the back of the couch and spreads it out over the three of them, snuggling into Ruby’s side as The Bachelorette starts. 

No matter what happens with Dean, Beth knows the love she has for these two women—it's infinite and solid and it will help her survive anything. 

\----

Beth wakes up with a groan, rolling over in bed and right into Annie, who lets out her own groan. 

“Nooo.” Annie pushes Beth back and then flops over onto her side, throwing one arm and leg over Beth’s body. 

Beth rolls her head to look over at the other side of the bed and sees wrinkled bedsheets and a lopsided pillow where Ruby should be. 

And then she breathes in deep, the smell of coffee filling her nose, and realizes what’s woken her up to begin with. 

Beth stretches her arm out and over Annie, hand groping at her nightstand until it connects with her phone. She fumbles to disconnect it from the charger one handed and at such an awkward angle, and she briefly considers just shoving Annie off the bed. Finally, the charger pops off and Beth pulls her arm back, swiping her thumb across the screen to unlock it. She yawns and stretches her legs out a tiny bit, checking the time. Still really early, but Beth has always been an early riser. As has Ruby, which explains the coffee. 

Can’t say the same for Annie though, Beth thinks as she glances at her sister, whose face is currently buried in her arm. Beth turns her attention back to her phone and notices she has a few unviewed texts. 

She clicks into her messages, and sees one from Dean and one from...Rio. 

Beth clicks on Dean’s first, and he must have sent it last night because it’s just a brief ‘won’t be home tonight, probably sleep here at the office.’ 

And its not the first time he’s worked super late at the dealership and ended up sleeping on the couch in his office, but it is the first time she’s ever doubted it to be anything but true. 

She can’t help but wonder if maybe he’d gone home with the secretary. If he’d even gone back into work to begin with. 

Beth lets out a puff of air, trying to keep her cool. She doesn’t need to get herself worked up before the day has even started. Beth closes out Dean’s message without even responding. 

She holds her phone against her chest for a minute as she mentally prepares herself for the text from Rio. It’s probably nothing, probably doesn’t have anything more than an address to meet him and Marcus at, but Beth gets tiny little butterflies in her belly just thinking about him sending her anything at all. And really, could her little crush be any more juvenile? 

Beth brings her phone back up and quickly clicks on Rio’s message bubble. And she was right, it is just an address and time, but also a ‘see you there.’ tacked onto the end. 

And the little excitement she gets from that tells her all she needs to know about officially accepting this job; it is a _horrible_ idea. 

Nothing good can or will come of this and she should just quit while she’s ahead. Beth rolls this over in her head for a minute. She’s a fairly popular nanny, finding another family wouldn’t be difficult and usually when she pairs with one, she stays with them for awhile. The last family she’d been with for the better part of a year, the only reason she’d been freed up was because they were relocating for dad’s job. 

Beth checks the time again. She should get up and take a shower and eat breakfast so she has time to prep herself before this meet. 

The problem is...she feels more than a little hungover. She can’t believe she drank as much as she did, knowing she had a meet with a family today. She never does that. 

Beth brings her hand up to rub furiously at her eyes, giving herself a mental pep talk to get herself out of this bed. 

Beth carefully slides herself out from underneath Annie’s various limbs and stretches as she stands, groaning a little at how achy her body feels. Her bed was definitely not made for three people. Especially with Annie being one of those three. 

She shuffles out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, where she finds Ruby, finishing up breakfast. 

“Oh, bless you, bless you, bless you.” Beth sighs, collapsing into the island stool closest to her, tossing her phone down, and laying her head on the counter. 

Ruby lets out a little chuckle and Beth hears her shuffling around, pulling plates and cups down from the cupboards and in this moment, Beth knows she would literally kill for Ruby, without question. 

“I’d ask how you’re feeling, but I guess you’ve just answered that.” Ruby says and Beth lifts her head, slumping down against the ladderback of the barstool, as Ruby slides a cup of coffee in front of her. 

“I didn’t even drink that much! I swear, it was those crappy shots Annie made us take. That stuff was poison.” Beth complains, wrapping both her hands around the mug, relishing the heat that seeps through and warms her hands. She brings it up to her mouth, drinking in deep. The coffee is still hot, so it burns, but it’s a good burn. It wakes her up, makes her feel more alert, less like a zombie and more like a person again. 

Ruby grins, about to comment on that, but Beth cuts her off, the words tumbling out of her mouth too fast to stop. “Dean didn’t come home last night.” 

The grin drops from Ruby’s face, instantly replaced by anger, and that at least makes Beth feel a little better. 

“He messaged me last night, I didn’t see it until this morning.” 

They’re both quiet for a moment as each of them processes this information in their own way, and then Ruby leans down against the island, slotting her fingers together on front of her. “B, you need to talk to him. You need to tell him to come home and you guys need to have this out.” 

Beth nods, because she knows it’s true, but it’s the last thing she wants to do. “I’m supposed to meet Rio and Marcus at the park today.” 

“So, reschedule. If he really wants to hire you, he’ll wait. But I don’t think this thing with Dean is something you want to put off.” 

Beth nods, her fingers gripping the cup in her hand as she stares down at the coffee inside. She tips the cup just the slightest bit, watching the liquid inside slosh from one side to the other, swirling around in the middle. It makes her feel a little nauseous watching it. But that also might just be the idea of confronting Dean. 

Suddenly there’s a yelp and a loud thump from her bedroom followed by a string of cuss words. 

Beth and Ruby grin at each other and a minute later Annie comes stumbling into the kitchen, looking more like a zombie than the ones in the movies. 

“Morning sunshine!” Beth chirps, taking another sip of her coffee and Annie throws her hand out at her as she passes by, and Beth ducks, Annie’s fingers barely grazing her arm. 

“Coffee. Food.” Annie mumbles and Ruby laughs as she says, “Coming right up.” 

Beth slides off her stool and helps Ruby scoop eggs and waffles and bacon onto each plate and pour Annie a cup of coffee. 

They talk about The Bachelorette episode from last night, Annie wincing slightly every time they get too loud or she ends up laughing too hard. 

They both head out after breakfast, Ruby giving Beth’s arm a sympathetic squeeze on the way out the door and Beth tries to swallow down the lump that forms in her throat from that. 

She hops in the shower, letting the hot water and steam completely envelope her, wishing it could magically melt away all the aches and stress from the last few months, from the last _year_ , but they seem to be embedded too deep in her bones now. 

When the water starts to run cold, she finally shuts it off, grabbing a towel and stepping out of the shower. She wipes at the fog on the mirror, staring at her hazy reflection, eyes scanning over every inch of her face. 

She’s a good looking person, has been told on more than one occasion how pretty she is. Dean especially likes to comment on her looks, although criticisms flow from his mouth just as easily as compliments. 

And she’s always been critical of herself, even with those reiterations from family and friends, even from strangers. 

As much as Dean’s a victim of circumstance, that same context applies to her. 

Once Beth and Annie’s dad left and their home life dissolved into shambles, Beth worked hard to shield Annie from the realities of their new life, to shield outsiders from it as well, becoming full time caretaker of...well of everything. Of the household, of Annie, even of their mother, when she allowed it. 

So, Beth had paid less and less attention to her own needs in favor of nurturing others. 

She’d had to act too grown up in a harsh adult world, dealing with landlords and teachers and bill collectors. Men (and on occasion, several women) trying to take advantage of her, leering at her, making her resent her looks, her body. 

And then Ruby had come swooping in, her literal savior, Beth knows, because she has serious doubts of where she would’ve ended up struggling on her own. From then on, Ruby had been there to provide support, to back her up, any time she had to deal with anyone else. 

And then a year later Dean had shown up, less a savior and more of a... _solution_ to Beth’s situation. 

Dean expedited her plans to leave her mother’s household with Annie, a more stable environment then what she would’ve been able to provide on her own. 

And it had been good for awhile, even if she felt herself bending to Dean’s will on more than one occasion, the pain of her homelife still fresh in her mind, wanting to avoid a toxic environment like that again at all costs, especially with Annie. 

But now... 

Beth sighs as she leaves the bathroom, toweling her hair off as she crosses the length of her bedroom and over to her walk in closet. She flips through her clothing, searching for something comfortable. 

Comfort should be a main priority for watching your marriage dissolve in front of your eyes, right? 

Beth yanks down an oversized white v-neck and grabs a pair of black yoga pants from her shelf and takes them back out to her bedroom. 

She digs around in her drawers, grabbing undergarments and socks, then dresses quickly. She throws her hair up in a messy bun, looking around quickly for her phone. When she doesn’t find it, she wanders out to the kitchen, spotting it on the island butcher block. 

She picks it up, swiping it open, and is just about to send a text off to Rio to reschedule their meet and one off to Dean that they need to talk, when she hears the front door swing open. 

Beth turns around just as Dean comes into view, and he looks like _hell_. 

He’s got bags under his eyes and he’s still wearing his clothes from yesterday, now looking very much wrinkled and slept in. He’s got a stack of folders haphazardly balanced in one arm. 

Beth sets her phone down behind her, a tiny wave of relief washing over her at the sight of him like this. Because he looks like he had actually been working late, had really slept at his office last night. 

“Hi.” He greets her, exhaustion tinging his features as he smiles sleepily at her and Beth smiles back. “Hi.” She says quietly, bringing her left hand over and across her body to grasp at her right forearm. 

They stand awkwardly across the room from each other, before Dean gestures towards their bedroom with his free hand. “I need a shower and a bed.” 

“Yeah, you look awful.” 

He laughs at that and Beth does too, letting go of her arm and taking a step closer to him. Maybe she had been wrong. What does one charge on a credit card really mean anyway? Knowing Dean, he had probably bought her something and then forgotten about it. She’ll probably find the bag in some odd off the wall place in the house and they’ll both have a laugh over it. 

And she suddenly feels bad because he looks like he’d been working hard, _has been_ working hard, the late nights and the not coming home taking its toll. And she'd been here, looking for evidence of cheating.  
He’s always worked hard for her, taking care of her, taking care of Annie. Maybe it was time to let their last argument go and start fresh... 

A little voice in the back of her brain screams at her that she’s grasping at straws, that she’s trying to avoid the inevitable, but Beth pushes it aside, buries it deep, as she takes a few more steps closer. 

“How bout you make me some of your awesome french toast while I hop in the shower and we can have breakfast together?” He suggests and Beth doesn't mention she’s already had breakfast, just nods in agreement.  
Dean grins at her and Beth steps out of his way so he can pass by her to get to their bedroom, and he reaches out and she watches as his hand grabs hers as he passes.  
And it’s right as he gives it a squeeze that the faint scent of perfume hits her and Beth feels like the air has been sucked out of the room.  
Feels like time slows down as her eyes remain locked on their joined hands, her vision whiting out around the edges, creating a sickening tunnel vision affect.  
The unfamiliar perfume taking control of all of her senses, invading her home, her life, like an invisible virus, tainting everything in its wake.  
Dean’s hand loosens on hers and time speeds up again as he lets her go and continues on to their bedroom, Beth’s eyes still transfixed on her hand, now hanging limply by her side. 

Time stretches out as Beth stands rooted to the floor. She vaguely registers the faint sound of the shower turning on, but it's not until she hears her phone vibrating on the counter a few minutes later that Beth snaps out of it. She spins on her heel, taking long strides across the kitchen, snatching her phone up and clicking on the new message that pops up. 

It’s from Rio. 

Her hand grips her phone until her knuckles turn white and then... 

And then Beth closes her eyes and breathes in deep, until her lungs hurt with it, and then she lets it out slowly, her whole body loosening with it. 

She marches towards the door with purpose, slipping her shoes on as she grabs her bag off the mounted wall hook by the door. She pauses for the briefest moment with her hand wrapped around the doorknob. The quiet of the house is deafening in her ears, the only sound the faint hum of the shower, but even that cuts out, shut off by Dean, and Beth finally yanks the door open and walks out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and your comments!  
> I love reading them!  
> I have this whole story outlined, but I'm still unsure of how many chapters there will be.

Beth’s halfway to the park when she realizes she still definitely looks a hot mess. She'd dressed explicitly for the impending destruction of her marriage, not a meet and greet with the hot dad she’s been lusting after, and his son, at the park. 

Beth groans and hits her head back against her headrest. This is what happens when she decides to be spontaneous, to go for what she wants without question. She’s half a second from turning the car around when she remembers—She can’t go back home. 

Beth grips the steering wheel tightly with both hands as every muscle in her body tightens up. The sunlight streaming in through the driver's side window refracts from her wedding ring, catching her eye. Beth brings her right hand over, maneuvering her fingers awkwardly around one another until she successfully pulls the ring off her finger. 

She carefully keeps her eyes on the road and her left hand steady at the wheel, as she leans over in her seat, popping the glove compartment open and tossing the ring inside, slamming it shut with a satisfying **thwack**. 

Her heart is pounding wildly in her chest and there’s a loud roaring in her ears that’s making it difficult to think. 

That’s the first time she’s taken her ring off in five years. 

Sure, she’d taken it off to wash dishes or go swimming, or that one time she’d caught her hand in the car door and her fingers had swollen up like crazy. 

But this was the first time she’d taken it off without the intention of putting it right back on. 

The anger was back, crashing over her in waves, threatening to pull her under and drown her in it. 

Beth tries to focus on what’s waiting in front of her, not what she’s left behind. 

She focuses on her breathing, clearing her mind of Dean, relaxing her body, loosening her grip on the steering wheel. 

This will be fine. 

She’s going to meet Rio and Marcus at the park, she’s going to get to know Marcus better, her and Rio will hash out the rest of the details of her employment, she’ll meet up with Ruby afterward, and they’ll sort through this current mess that is her marriage. 

_This will be fine_. 

Beth pulls into a parking spot a few minutes later. She turns her car off and leans back in her seat, closing her eyes. 

“This is fine. This is fine. This is _fine_.” She whispers under her breath, like a mantra, desperately trying to cling to something, anything, that will tether her to her last shred of sanity. 

The noise of her phone vibrating in her bag prompts her eyes to snap open and she rolls her head to the side, eyes landing on the bag. She just stares, imagining what it would be like to pick it up and throw it out the window. She listens as the vibrations continue for a few more rings, until the voicemail picks up. Then she reaches over, pulls her phone out, and shuts it off without even looking at the screen. She tosses it back in her bag and then slings the bag over her shoulder, popping the door open and stepping out of the car with a renewed sense of purpose. 

Beth closes the door and leans back against it for a minute, eyes scanning across the vast park. It’s a gorgeous day, so lots of families are out and about. She just stands and observes for a moment, letting the organized chaos of the outdoors calm her inner upheaval. She watches a group of teens play an informal game of soccer in the large grassy open space. There’s an older couple strolling along the walking path, content with quietly holding hands. There’s a group of young mothers, talking amongst themselves as their kids chase each other around on the playground. They keep stealing glances off to the side and Beth follows their line of sight to what, or rather, _who_ it is they’re watching. 

Rio. 

He’s sitting on a bench off to the side, surprisingly by himself. Or—maybe not surprisingly. She can see how approaching him may seem intimidating. She doesn’t blame the women for admiring from afar—after all that’s exactly what she’s doing now. 

She watches as Rio leans forward, attention solely on a little boy, a little carbon copy of him, who’s currently picking himself up from where he’d fallen on the playground. He dusts himself off and then takes off running again and Beth smiles. 

She locks her doors and then takes her time strolling over to the bench Rio’s occupying, enjoying the sun on her face and the breeze against the back of her neck. She has to pass the bench of young moms and she tugs at the hem of her shirt a little, wishing she could go back in time and change into something more acceptable. Being out here, looking like this, reminds her of her mother. 

Beth’s steps falter a bit at the sudden invasive thought and she feels a tiny thread of panic and anxiety start to pick up. And it’s at that moment that Rio looks over and spots her. 

His eyes connect with hers and the shift in his body language is almost immediate. The crinkles at the corner of his eyes are prominent as he shifts in his seat, tongue darting out to lick over his bottom lip. And Beth can feel the panic and anxiety subside as quickly as it had come on, her body propelled forward by the force of him, her movements steady and sure every step of the way. 

“Hey.” She greets him with a soft smile, sitting down on the bench next to him, carefully leaving a reasonable amount of space between them. She sets her bag down on the ground next to her crossed legs. 

“Hey.” He returns her smile with one of his own and Beth feels those butterflies in her stomach kick into overdrive again and she quickly looks away, toward the playground. 

She juts her chin out toward the monkey bars, where the little boy is struggling to swing from one bar to the next. “That Marcus?” She asks, even though she already knows, and Rio hums his confirmation. “He’s adorable.” 

“Yah, but don’t go tellin’ him all that. His tías and abuela already fill his head with all that nonsense. Kid’s got a big ego.”  
Beth laughs as she glances over at Rio, who is back to watching Marcus. “Bigger than his dads?” She teases. 

“Nah. Gettin' there tho.” 

Beth’s eyes travel back over to the young moms at the opposite end of the park. Their looks of judgment don’t go unnoticed and Beth can practically hear their gossipy whispers. “Can’t imagine accomplishing that.” Beth murmurs, pulling at the hem of her shirt again and twisting it around her fingers nervously. 

Her comment is met with silence and Beth looks up and over, only to find Rio eyeing her fingers curiously. 

And--right. Her ring. 

“It’s getting cleaned.” She explains hastily, even though he doesn't ask. She quickly disentangles her fingers from her shirt and clasps them together on her thighs. “So, have you told him anything about me yet?” 

Rio’s eyes flick up to her face, something in them that she can’t quite read. It’s only there for a second though, and then he’s leaning back against the bench, crossing his legs, ankle over knee, and she wonders how he can just...be so comfortable wherever he is. Be able to sink into his environment and look like he belongs. Beth feels like she has to work for that every damn day. Putting a maddening amount of careful thought and consideration into her appearance and her demeanor in any given situation. It’s been engraved in her since she was young enough to remember. And for him it just seems to come naturally. 

She is suddenly and inexplicably feeling very annoyed with him. She knows it’s absurd, but she has the uncontrollable urge to try and crack that calm façade. 

“Sure. Told ‘im you were a real stickler for the rules and he better follow ‘em or you’d inflict some o’ that old school corporal punishment.” 

Beth lets out a shocked laugh. “You did not!” 

“I did. Showed ‘im your lil binder thing, told ‘im there was a whole list of other parents in it who hired you to torture their kids.” 

Beth shakes her head at him as she tries to hold back her laughter. “You are so rude.” 

Rio just shrugs and grins and then he’s straightening up and leaning forward and Beth notices Marcus running over and she follows suit, straightening up too and smiling. 

“Hey pop.” Rio greets him, Marcus coming to a halt right in front of him, Rio’s hands coming out to give his tiny arms a gentle squeeze before letting go. 

“Can you push me on the swings?” Marcus asks, kicking at the ground a little, arms swinging aimlessly at his sides, and Beth can’t help but smile even wider at all of his tiny energy trying to burst out every which way. 

“There’s someone I want you to meet first.” Rio turns to Beth and Marcus follow suit, a small, shy smile on his lips. “This is— _Ms_. Elizabeth.” Rio shoots her a cocky little grin at his introduction and Beth narrows her eyes at him briefly before smoothing her features over as she looks to Marcus. 

“HI! It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She says warmly, giving him a little finger wave and Marcus gives a tentative wave back. Then his eyes fall on her bag and his little body is vibrating with excitement again as he points at it. “Hey, that’s T-Rex!” 

“Yes, it is! Do you like it?” Beth pulls the bag up on her lap and Marcus nods vigorously, stepping closer so he can run his fingers over the tiny dinosaur pattern. “Your dad tells me you’re really into herbivores. Which one is your favorite?” 

“I like the triceratops and the long necks.” 

“Those are my favorites too!” 

“I had a dinosaur birthday party.” He informs her proudly and Beth wants to reach over and squeeze his arms just like Rio had earlier. The kid is too cute. 

“I heard! Happy late birthday! I’m sorry I missed the party, it sounds like it was awesome.” 

And that’s all it takes for Marcus to launch into a long winded, and surprisingly detailed, description of his party. Beth listens enthusiastically, asking questions and making noises of approval at the appropriate times. Towards the end she glances over at Rio and finds him watching her, _studying_ her in a way that makes her flush. She hurriedly turns her attention back to Marcus, who is winding down. 

“So, I know you asked your dad to push you on the swings, but the swings are my absolute _favorite_ , would you mind if _I_ helped you on them?” She asks and Marcus practically shouts yes, completely dismissing his dad, and Rio watches on in mock outrage. 

“Do you mind?” She asks him quietly as Marcus gets a head start, running off in the direction of the swings. 

“Nope, you go do your thing.” 

Beth sets her bag down and hurries to catch up to Marcus. 

They chat as they wait patiently for a swing to open up—or rather Marcus chats as Beth listens, not able to really get a word in edgewise. Beth tries to equate this little force of nature with the calm quiet of Rio. It’s a stark contrast for sure. 

A swing finally opens up and Marcus hops on, Beth pushing him gently at first, until he demands higher, his squeals of delight immediate as she promptly obeys and Beth can’t help but laugh along with his carefree giggles. 

The swings are a temporary distraction though and it’s not long before he’s on to the next thing, quickly finding another group of kids to play with, Beth promptly deemed too old to join in. She tries not to feel too insulted, Marcus’s “Sorry!” thrown out over his retreating back lessening the sting. 

Beth keeps an eye on him as she wanders back over to Rio’s bench, a fierce feeling of protectiveness washing over her. 

“So, now you know how it feels huh?” Rio asks, smug little smile on his face and Beth rolls her eyes as she plops down next to him. 

“I can still hold on to the fact that he chose me over you. It helps lessen the sting.” 

Rio huffs out a laugh at that, his arm stretching out over the back of the bench, and Beth tenses as her heart rate kicks up when his hand brushes against her hair as it comes to rest behind her shoulder. 

She keeps her eyes fixed on Marcus, trying to distract herself, trying to remember how to breathe. 

And she’s reminded once again why this is such a bad idea. These involuntary reactions she seems to have to him...this incessant school girl crush. 

He probably gets it all the time; clearly knows the affect he has on women. Knows he’s noticed the group of moms, and a few dads, looking his way right here in the park. 

This would be the perfect time to tell him she can’t take the job after all. Before she gets in any deeper, while she can still provide him with a list of other references and the transition would be smoother. 

She wishes the timing wasn’t so terrible for them. 

Beth opens her mouth, not really sure where to start, but planning on forging ahead nonetheless, but Rio beats her to it, cutting her off before she can even start. Part of her thinks he somehow knows what she’s trying to do, his actions purposely counteracting hers. 

“So, let’s talk business. I work a lot o’ late hours, so I wouldn’t need you during the day as much. Marcus is in school anyway durin’ the week and at his mom’s every otha weekend.” 

“I don’t mind late hours, but--” She starts, and then he’s cutting her off again, this time with how much he plans on paying her and Beth chokes out a surprised, “ _What_?!” at the number, momentarily forgetting everything else. 

Rio smirks as he takes in her shocked expression, her reaction clearly what he’d been aiming to provoke. “Told you, hours suck but pay is good.” 

“That’s much more than I normally charge.” 

“I know.” 

“It’s too much.” 

“Can’t put a price on your kid, Elizabeth.” 

And--right. 

She worries at her bottom lip, her fingers automatically moving to twist at her ring-- but it’s not there. 

Rio sighs at the obvious hesitance etched across her features. “You’re more than qualified, quit tryin’ sell yourself short. Take the money.” 

Beth sighs as her eyes sweep over the playground, locating Marcus fairly quickly. ’ **It isn’t just about the money**.’ she thinks to herself. 

Although, if she was leaving Dean, the money would help. A lot. 

Help her start fresh. Have a clean slate. 

“What is it that you do anyway?” She asks, suddenly feeling very curious. She shifts her body on the bench to face him, bringing her leg up as she does, actively ignoring the way her shoulder brushes against his hand. 

“I own a few businesses.” 

She waits for him to continue, but when he makes no move to elaborate further, Beth huffs out an exasperated sigh. He really does like annoying her. 

He’s looking at her expectantly, like he knows she wants to press the issue. 

And she does. 

Desperately. 

But she refuses to play into his little game, so she remains stubbornly silent. And at that, he just grins, which—of course. She can’t win with him. No matter what she does, she knows he’s going to be highly amused either way. 

But sitting here, staring him down... it’s starting to do _things_ to her. 

And is she imagining that she’s having a similar effect on him? Because he seems as drawn to her as she is to him, but she can’t fathom any logical reason why he would ever have the same visceral reaction to her. 

And it’s like a dream, or a fantasy really-- the way his hand is moving slowly from the back of the bench, turning oh so gently so that his fingers are grazing, the lightest touch, against her shoulder and Beth shivers despite the warmth of the day. The heat from his fingers seeps through her t-shirt, the thin material an insufficient barrier against the invisible marks he’s branding into her skin. 

“ _Daddy_.” 

Marcus’s voice jerks both of them out of their trance, Rio’s hand leaving her as he pulls his arm back and he leans forward, greeting Marcus as he comes bounding forward, Beth straightening up, both feet planted firmly back on the ground as she adjusts her shirt. 

“Can we go to the café now?” Marcus asks, all the energy from before reduced to a low hum now that he’s played it out. 

“Sure, pop. You all done?” 

“Yup.” Marcus’s eyes dart over to Beth before he refocuses on his dad, a new look of determination on his face. “Can Ms. Elizabeth come with us? Please?” Marcus pouts his lip out a bit and Beth bites back a smile at the instantaneous use of his giant puppy dog eyes. 

Rio turns his head to her, the look on his face letting her know she’s not as successful as she thinks in holding back her amusement. 

“What do you say, Ms. Elizabeth? Care to join us?” He drawls, lifting an eyebrow in question as Marcus looks at her expectantly. 

Her mind momentarily goes back to the house. Back to Dean. Back to that damn credit card charge and that fucking perfume. 

And then Beth looks from Rio to his son and back again and her heart suddenly and inexplicably feels painfully full. 

Obviously she can’t say no. 

So, she doesn’t. 

She pushes all of the other loud, cluttered thoughts in her brain back through the tiny door they’d spilled out from, shutting and locking it. 

And she says yes. 

\----- 

Beth follows Rio to the café. It’s a place he and Marcus apparently go to quite often, or at least after every park visit, as Marcus had informed her on their way out of the park and to their respective cars. 

She thinks it’s incredibly sweet they have this little tradition for just the two of them. 

Which is why she feels a little weird intruding on it, but Marcus had asked and seemed genuinely excited at her joining them. 

She notes it’s only a few blocks from Rio’s loft, a perfect halfway point between that and the park. 

It’s a quiet, quaint little shop, kitschy in a cute way. There’s lots of exposed wood and brick, with tables scattered throughout, interspersed with a lot of overstuffed furniture seating. There are built in shelves lining the walls, filled with coffee mugs and knick knacks and books. It’s very homey and cozy. 

“What do you think?” Rio leans in close behind her to ask his question and Beth wishes he knew the definition of personal space, while simultaneously being thankful that he doesn’t. 

Beth clears her throat as she steps away from him and further into the café, towards the front counter, where Marcus is already standing up on his tiptoes to order. “It’s really nice. Marcus seems to love it.” 

“That’s because he’s got everyone here wrapped ‘round his lil finger. They give ‘im whateva he wants.” Rio says the words with a tinge of exasperation, but he’s smiling as he watches the girl behind the counter lean down to chat with Marcus as she takes his order. 

“Yeah, he seems to have that effect on people.” Beth says, laughter in her voice as she watches them too. 

“Could say the same ‘bout you.” 

Beth whips her head around to him, the words surprising her. 

“He really likes you. All he wanted to talk about in the car, Ms. Elizabeth this and Ms. Elizabeth that.” Rio shakes his head a little at the end and Beth smiles, “I’m glad. I really like him too.” 

Rio regards her carefully as he nods and then tilts his head over to the counter. “You want anything?” 

And that’s when Beth realizes she hasn’t had anything since breakfast. Her stomach has been in such massive knots since she left the house ( _since she left Dean_ ) that she hadn’t even felt hungry. She still doesn’t, but she figures she should probably drink something at least. 

“What drink would you recommend?” She asks, walking up to the counter, squinting to read over the menu. 

“I got you.” He says, moving in front of her to order. Marcus slides down the counter as the girl behind it straightens up. “’Ey Janelle, Can I get two--” 

“Dirty chai’s?” Janelle finishes for him and Rio grins as he nods. Janelle nods back, blushing a little as she shyly returns his smile and Beth has to wonder if there is a female in the world he doesn’t have that effect on. 

After he’s done paying, he turns to Marcus, ruffling his hair before sending him off to find a place for them to sit. He turns back to Beth as they wait for their drinks and Beth folds her arms over her chest, popping her eyebrow up at him. “On a first name basis _and_ they know your drink order by heart?” 

“That’s just good customer service.” Rio says, shrugging his shoulder and Beth snorts out a laugh at that. “It don’t hurt that I also own the place.” He adds casually and Beth drops her arms as she blinks up at him. He really does seem to enjoy dropping these little bombs on her, relishing in her inevitable reactions. 

“ _Of course_ you do.” She finally says, looking around the café again, observing it in a whole new light. So, this was one of the businesses he owned. 

It’s not what she expected, but nothing seems to be when it comes to him. 

Rio’s looking over to where Marcus is quietly sitting on the couch, flipping through a book on his lap. 

“How late is this place open?” She asks curiously, remembering he said he worked long night hours. Was that here or at his other business? And what even was his other business? Could she wiggle that information out of him while he was momentarily distracted? 

“Usually until 10.” He answers easily, eyes continuing to track Marcus as he moves from the couch to the shelves lining the walls to grab another book. 

“Hmm. And your other business? What time does that one normally close?” She asks as nonchalantly as possible. 

“The bar stays open til midnight, at least...” 

He trails off, like maybe he’s catching on to her little game, but then Janelle is calling out his name for their drinks, distracting him further, and Beth really can’t believe her stroke of luck. A bar is definitely more along the lines of what she had been expecting. She can’t help the grin that spreads across her face at her small victory. Janelle hands them their drinks and some coloring sheets and crayons for Marcus and Beth thinks she kind of loves it here. Especially when she tastes her drink and it’s the perfect balance of sweetness from the spicy chai and bitterness from the shot of espresso. 

They settle in at the table Marcus picked and Rio hands him the coloring pages and crayons. 

“So, think you could start this week?” Rio asks, as he bites at his straw and Beth should find it annoying, she would if it was Dean, but instead she just finds it incredibly sexy. 

What was _wrong_ with her? 

“Sure.” She nods her head a little too quickly, eyes still fixated on his mouth. 

“I’ll text you the details.” 

“Sounds good.” She answers, finally tearing her eyes away from him and focusing instead on the coloring page Marcus is currently working on. 

Beth watches Marcus quietly for a few moments, the little boys face screwed up in concentration, tongue stuck between teeth as he carefully and painstakingly stays within the lines. 

And Beth knows, without even looking, that while she is watching Marcus, Rio is watching her. 

“Why don’t you have kids?” 

The question is so sudden, and so intrusive, Beth’s body jerks back a little at it. 

Her eyes dart over to Marcus, making sure he’s still in his own little world coloring, before turning back to Rio, eyes narrowed. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” She hisses, keeping her voice as low as possible. 

“Just a question.” He’s staring steadfastly back at her, face an impassive mask, but Beth feels like he’s digging underneath her skin, trying to find answers to questions she’s not willing to give. 

“It’s a very personal question.” She snaps back, hackles up. 

Rio hums in agreement, his eyes still searching over her face and it’s almost painful, the way he’s reaching in and trying to sort through her mess. 

“So, who don’t want ‘em, you or your husband?” And she almost gasps at the bluntness of the question, the way he’s so freely needling and poking at fresh wounds, opening old scars. 

“ _Not that it’s any of your business_ , but my husband and I both want kids, and when the time is right, we’ll have them.” She doesn’t add the ‘but probably not together’ part because _that_ is definitely none of his business. 

But just saying the words out loud had been painful, even without the last words being spoken, and Beth suddenly feels the need to get out of this café, the space suddenly feeling too small, too tight. 

“You know, it’s getting late, I should really go.” She rushes the words out, standing abruptly before he can say anything or react. Beth crosses over to the other side of the table, kneeling down next to Marcus, so they’re on the same level. “It was so nice spending time with you today sweetheart. I’ll see you real soon, okay?” Marcus nods his head, saying goodbye and gifting her one of his finished coloring sheets. 

Beth stands up and almost walks off right then, but she doesn’t want to be rude. He is her boss now, after all. She gives him a tight smile as she steps back from the table. “Thank you for inviting me out today, I really enjoyed it. Let me know whenever you’ll need me.” She forces her voice and face to be chipper, because Marcus is watching now, but she can tell Rio knows she’s anything but. 

A small smile plays at his lips, but there's no humor or happiness behind it. She has a strong feeling this is not something he’s going to let go. He gives her a small nod for now though, thankfully releasing her from any further inquiries. 

She feels like she can’t get out to her car fast enough, her legs carrying her as quickly as she can move them without outright running. 

It’s not until she’s safely in her car that she feels like she can relax again. The further away from Rio and his inquisitive eyes, the better. Why does he even care that she doesn’t have kids anyway? That is not something an employer should feel the need to discuss with an employee. 

Beth decides right then and there she needs to reinforce the professional side of things if she’s going to actually work for Rio. She’s only known him two days and he’s already pushing boundaries, kicking at the line between personal and professional, seeing how fast he can bury it in the sand. 

And then the realization slowly sinks in that now she has nowhere to go but home, nothing to do but face Dean and all of the horrible damage inflicted by him. 

Beth reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone, turning it on, ready to call Ruby and see if she can stop by, maybe even stay the night.  
Ruby’s was always a safe haven, somewhere for her to escape to when she desperately needed to be away from anyone and everyone else, except for the three people under that roof.  
Where she could listen to Stan play the piano while Ruby sang and Sarah danced around, Beth cheering her on. 

As soon as Beth’s phone powers on it immediately starts ringing, interrupting her thoughts. 

It’s Dean. 

She thinks about ignoring it, but at this point, what good is that going to do? She might as well tell him she doesn’t plan on coming home. That she knows about his...extramarital activities. That their marriage is over, had ended as soon as he decided to stick his dick in someone else. 

Beth slides her finger over the green phone icon flashing across the screen, bringing her phone up to her ear. “Hello?” 

“Jesus Beth, I've been trying to reach you for hours.” Dean’s voice is urgent and desperate and Beth can feel her irritation start to rise immediately. 

She closes her eyes as she presses her head back into the headrest. “Yeah, we need to talk.” 

“Did you get my messages?” 

Beth’s eyes blink open as she finally registers the tone of his voice. Not just the desperation, but the pain and fear there as well. She leans forward, hand coming up to grip the steering wheel, preparing herself. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 

“It’s my dad. He’s in the hospital.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how everyone is in unanimous agreement that no one cares about Dean or his dad haha.  
> Ya'll are the best.  
> So, please forgive me, there is more of Dean and his family in this chapter, but I hope I make up for it with the Rio, Marcus, and Beth goodness that comes later!

“The doctors think it’s cancer. They’re still running tests and waiting on results though.” Beth’s pacing the hospital hallways, phone pressed to her ear as she talks to Annie on the other end. 

“Bummer.” Annie sounds massively unsympathetic and Beth gets it, she does, but she can’t help the rising need to scold her for being so flippant about a man’s literal life. 

“ _Annie_ \--” 

Annie cuts her off, like she’d been expecting, had just been waiting for, Beth’s lecture. “Look, it sucks that his dad is dying, but I don’t feel bad for either of them. His dad has always been a dick to me, and to you, and Dean _has been cheating on you_. Dying dad’s don’t give you a pass.” 

“Actually, they do.” Beth snaps, losing her patience much quicker than she normally would. It’s approaching midnight and she’s running on fumes and bad hospital coffee and she’s exhausted. “I can’t just confront him about cheating when he’s literally sitting by his dad’s hospital bed.” Beth lets out a long sigh as she brings her hand up to massage the back of her neck. “Besides, we don’t know for sure that he’s been cheating--” 

“ _For fucks sake Beth_ \--” 

“Look, he could’ve just been working really closely with someone or hugged a customer for too long--” 

“ _Or_ , more likely, he could’ve been banging the receptionist.” 

Beth squeezes her eyes shut as she stops in her tracks, her mind involuntarily conjuring up the image of Amber. Blonde and perky and rail thin Amber. The complete opposite of her. 

Beth leans her forehead against the cool hospital wall, wincing a little as she pictures Amber and Dean together. How she’s seen them countless times--Amber leaning over Dean’s desk, handing him papers as she touches his arm and they both laugh. 

“Annie, I literally can not do this right now. I just—I don’t have the energy for it.” 

And her voice must sound just enough past that fine line between desperation and insanity, because she hears Annie let out a long defeated sigh. 

“What do you need?” Annie asks and Beth lets out a breath she hadn‘t even realized she’d been holding. 

“Can I stop by? Stay the night? Dean’s staying here with his mom and...,” Beth trails off, ‘ **And I can’t go back to that house**.’ on the tip of her tongue. It feels heavy, gets stuck there and Annie seems to understand anyway, these half sentence conversations not a new occurrence for either one of them. 

“Of course. I’ll leave the door unlocked.” 

Beth thanks her quietly and they exchange goodbyes shortly after. Beth slowly straightens up as she just as slowly blinks her eyes open, the harsh hospital lighting immediately triggering a throbbing in her temples. 

She pockets her phone, her hand coming up to cover the sleepy yawn overtaking her mouth. 

She’d rushed to the hospital as soon as she’d gotten off the phone with Dean and she’s been here with him, and his mom, ever since. 

As much as she wants to stay here and support him, she doesn’t think she can bear one more second of this hospital or his mother. 

She starts back down the long hallway, retracing her steps back to the room. 

She leans against the open doorway, unable to force herself to cross over the threshold. 

Beth catches Dean’s eye and he gets up and walks over and they both step back out into the hallway. 

“I was going to stay at Annie’s, unless you needed me here.” She says, folding her arms across her chest as she rocks back on her heels, her body suddenly a bundle of nervous energy. 

“No, no, you go get some sleep. I’m just--I gotta stay here with my mom. You know she won’t leave. At least not tonight.” 

Beth’s nodding her head, eyes darting back into the room at Dean’s mom, curled up in a chair next to the hospital bed. “Yeah, of course. I can come back first thing in the morning. Did you want me to bring you anything?” 

“No, I'm probably gonna run to the house in a little bit and grab a few things.” Dean pulls her into a hug and Beth stiffens slightly, arms still folded across her chest. “All I need is you, Bethie. I’m just so glad you’re here. I got scared when I couldn’t reach you earlier, ya know?” 

And she knows he’s digging, trying to find out where she was and why she took off to begin with, but she’s not giving him anything. She starts to pull away and he gives her one last squeeze before letting go. 

“I’ll be back in the morning.” She promises, giving him a tight smile and turning away quickly, before he can touch her again. 

Beth stops by the house first, quickly packing a bag, before driving to Annie’s apartment on autopilot, her mind whirring with what feels like a million different thoughts and emotions. With things she can’t even _name_. She’s just so _tired_. 

There’s a free parking spot right next to Annie’s car and Beth pulls in, eyes feeling heavier than they have all night, like her body can sense it’s in close proximity to a home with a bed in it and it’s already starting to shut down. 

Beth grabs her overnight bag and drags herself out of her car, footsteps heavy against the pavement as she plods the short distance from the car to Annie’s apartment building. 

Annie’s left the door unlocked, just like she said she would, and Beth closes and locks it quietly behind her. Beth doesn’t see or hear her, so she must already be asleep. 

She drops her bag by the door and toes her shoes off, padding over to the couch and collapsing face first on it. 

She really should climb into bed with Annie, it’s what she’d do if she was at Beth’s house, but the bedroom feels so far away, even in this tiny apartment. Instead, she closes her eyes and let's sleep pull her heavily under. 

\----- 

Beth wakes way too early the next morning, but that’s the curse of having an inner alarm clock that goes off with every sunrise. 

Annie is, unsurprisingly, not up, so Beth busies herself making some coffee and trying to scrounge for anything halfway decent that she can throw together for breakfast. 

When all she can find in the cupboards is half a box of cereal (no milk in the fridge) and way too many bags of Cheetos, Beth gives up. She’ll have to pick something up on the way to the hospital. 

And make a grocery list for Annie, because this is just sad. 

She hops in the shower, washing quickly and then getting dressed even quicker, sending a text off to Dean that she’ll be heading over there soon. She wants to get this over and done with. 

She leaves Annie a note and then heads out to the hospital. 

Beth’s just entered the main lobby when her phone vibrates in her pocket. She pulls it out and her breath catches when she sees it’s a text from Rio. 

With everything going on with Dean’s dad, Beth had completely forgotten that Rio had asked her to start this week. He’s texted her a day and time and Beth cusses underneath her breath because how is she going to swing this? 

Technically she should stay by Dean’s side these first few days, knows they’re going to be the worst. 

But she literally just agreed to take this job, and she knows Rio hasn’t even considered anyone else, most likely doesn’t even have a backup. 

Beth shoves her phone back in her pocket, leaving Rio’s text unanswered, for now. 

When she gets to the hospital room, the only one there is Judith. Beth briefly entertains the idea of quietly backing out and leaving, but Judith looks up and spots her before she can. Beth plasters on her best sympathetic smile and shuffles into the room. “Hey, how are you holding up?” 

“I’m fine, dear. These hospital cots are hell to sleep on and the nurses were in and out all night poking and prodding at John, but we’re holding up.” Judith flutters around the room, adjusting objects and cleaning up invisible messes, and Beth recognizes it for what it is—neurosis from anxiety that’s settled in deep. 

“Any news?” Beth asks, feeling bad that she left at all last night. Maybe she should’ve stayed. As much as Dean’s parents haven’t been the most ideal in-laws, they _were_ there for her when her own parents weren’t. 

Judith stills in her movements at Beth’s question and Beth’s heart instantly aches for her because she knows... 

“Oh Judith, I am so sorry.” Beth says, her voice cracking a little as she steps forward, and Judith lets Beth embrace her for a fleeting moment before she pulls herself away. 

“They think they’ve caught it early enough that with treatment, he’ll be very successful in fighting this.” Judith’s voice is strained and Beth can tell she’s trying really hard to hold herself together. 

“Are they running tests now?” Beth asks, gesturing to the empty bed and Judith nods. 

“Dean went to go get breakfast. He should be back any minute.” She adds and Beth nods quietly. 

“Do you need anything?” Beth asks, but before Judith can answer, Dean comes walking through the door, like his mother’s words had summoned him, hands full of drinks and bags. 

“Hey, Bethie.” He walks over and gives her a quick peck on the lips before she can even react and then he’s walking over to the small table against the far wall, setting the drinks and bags down. 

Judith is watching her closely, a look of pure vexation on her face and Beth realizes it’s because her hands are balled into fists at her sides, her entire body stiff after Dean’s surprise kiss and Beth forces herself to relax, offering Judith a small smile as she turns away. 

God, she feels like she’s suffocating. 

“Mom, you need to eat something.” Dean says, pointing to the table of food and Judith smiles warmly at him, patting his cheek affectionately as she passes him on the way to the table. 

Dean turns back to Beth. “So, my parents and I have been talking and my dad wants me to run the dealership while he’s recovering.” 

Beth shoots a glance over at Judith, who is picking at her food, pretending not to listen to their conversation. “Yeah, your mom mentioned they’re going to start treatments.” 

“Right. He also asked me to keep an eye on her, so I was thinking about staying at my parents house for a bit. You know, just for a little while, because the doctors said the first few weeks will probably be the worst.” 

Beth’s nodding along as he talks, sending a silent Thank You out into the universe that he’s not suggesting bringing his mom to stay at their house. 

“So, between the dealership and my parents, I wouldn’t be home a lot...” Dean prods, looking at her expectantly and _oh_ \--he’s looking for permission. Reassurance that it’s okay to be separated from each other for a short period of time. 

Because he’s still under the impression she’s the happily doting wife who would have a problem with that. 

God, she’s tired. 

“Of course, you do what you have to do. I’ll be fine, I'm starting that new nannying job, so I’ll be pretty busy anyway.” 

“Oh right, I forgot to ask how that went. You guys hit it off then?” Deans asks and Beth thinks about Rio, his fingers caressing her shoulder at the park. “Yeah, you could say that.” Beth forces out, tamping down on the sudden and uncontrollable urge to just... _laugh_. Why did she feel like laughing at the most inappropriate times? 

“You’re going to start work so soon after a family emergency?” Judith interjects and Beth’s jaw sets as she turns her head to look at her. 

“I just assumed you would want to help Dean out at the dealership, help relieve some of that workload, be there for emotional support, you know, things a wife should be doing.” Judith sniffs and Beth can feel herself disconnect, a faint smile on her lips as she nods agreeably, the movements stiff and practiced. This isn’t the first time someone from this family has lectured her on how to act like a good wife. She’s sure it won’t be the last. 

“I accepted the job offer before everything else happened. It would be very unprofessional to just abandon them when they currently don’t have any other alternatives.” Beth tries to explain gently. 

“I think there’s something to be said about abandoning your husband and his needs--” 

“Okay, mom!” Dean cuts Judith off with a nervous little laugh and Beth feels a twinge of shame, properly admonished by Judith’s words. “Beth doesn’t need to come into the dealership to help with anything, that’s what Amber is there for.” 

Beth’s head whips back around to Dean at the mention of Amber, shame morphing into annoyance. 

“I’m happy you’ll have something to keep you distracted. I knew you’d be understanding.” Dean says, completely oblivious to Beth’s change in demeanor. He grabs her hands and squeezes and Beth silently cusses when a look of pure confusion crosses Dean’s face a second later. He lifts her left hand up and stares at it dumbly. “Where’s your ring?” 

“I took it off to clean yesterday and I must have forgot to put it back on.” The lie slips almost too easily from her lips and Dean accepts it readily. 

The noise Judith makes from her seat at the table tells Beth she is much less accepting of it. 

“Did you need me to do anything for you, Judith?” Beth asks sweetly. 

“No, thank you dear. I just need my son.” 

‘ **You can have him**.’ Beth thinks acidly, offering up a tight smile and a nod. “Of course.” 

She leaves a short while later, Dean promising to keep her updated. 

Beth messages Rio back as soon as she’s home, confirming the day and time for her to watch Marcus. 

\----- 

Beth gives herself a little mental pep talk before knocking on Rio’s apartment door. 

She’s nervous to see him again after the café. Even though it's been a few days, she's still unsure if he’ll try to push the conversation from there again. Or think up a whole new way to make her feel on edge. He really seems to enjoy digging underneath her skin and watching her squirm. 

Beth finally knocks and then steps back a little and waits. 

Less than a minute later she hears the doorknob jiggling as someone struggles with it and Beth smiles because she knows it must be Marcus trying to answer the door. Kids love doing that. 

He finally gets it turned all the way, the right way, and flings the door open, huge smile on his face when he sees Beth. 

“Ms. Elizabeth!” He greets her excitedly, waving her into the apartment. And apparently she is moving to slow for his taste, because he almost immediately grabs her hand to lead her further in and Beth laughs as she goes easily, making sure to push the door closed behind her. 

“How are you doing today?” She asks as he leads her down the short hallway and into the open space of the loft. 

“Good. My daddy’s on the phone so he told me to take care of you.” Marcus directs her to the couch and Beth readily sits, setting her bag down on the floor and propped up against it. “Do you want a drink?” Marcus asks politely and Beth’s heart melts. 

“Oh, no thanks sweetie, I think I'm okay for now. Do _you_ want a drink?” 

Marcus nods his head, “Yeah, but I'm not old enough to reach the cups yet.” 

Beth throws her head back and laughs and Marcus giggles next to her. Beth pushes herself up to stand, nodding her head toward the kitchen before walking over and Marcus follows her. 

“Alright, so I have this magical super power,” She informs him conspiratorially, as she helps him climb up onto one of the bar stools. “I can find anything in any kitchen on the first try, _even_ if I've never been there before.” 

“Anything?” Marcus repeats, legs swinging excitedly. 

“Anything.” Beth confirms. “Now, the cups are easy cause they’re just sitting up on the shelf there. But I bet if you tell me something else to find--” 

“The spoons!” Marcus immediately throws out and Beth laughs as she turns to look at the kitchen, leaning back against the island as she exaggeratedly considers each drawer and cupboard, much to Marcus’s delight. 

Beth turns to him and grins before carefully strolling over to the set of drawers closest to the fridge. She brings her fingers up and gently touches the top drawer before sneaking a quick glance at Marcus, who quickly shakes his head and Beth snatches her fingers away. “Don’t tell me!” She mock scolds and he drops his head into his palm in exasperation. “I wasn’t going to pick that one anyway.” Beth wanders over to the other side of the kitchen, where a tall set of wooden drawers sit. She gently hooks her fingers into the notches in the bottom drawer, sneaking another look at Marcus, and he covers his mouth with a giggle, refusing to give her any clues this time. 

Beth drops her hands from the bottom drawer and brings them up to the top instead, pulling it open quickly and triumphantly, the set of silverware inside shining up at her. She hears Marcus start clapping his tiny hands, but is soon joined by another set of much larger hands clapping and Beth whirls around to see Rio leaning up against one of the exposed wooden posts, smile tugging at his lips. 

Beth swallows hard as she feels herself pink up. 

“So does this magic trick extend to anywhere in the house or is it just central to the kitchen?” He drawls, straightening up as he takes several steps closer to her. Beth fights the urge to back up, doesn’t really have anywhere else to go besides up against the chest of drawers. 

“I’ve never tried it anywhere else.” She finally says, throat feeling dry. 

“Guess, we’ll have to test that out then, huh?” 

Beth doesn’t say anything, doesn’t think she can manage any coherent words with the way he’s looking at her. 

He’s close enough to touch now and Beth wonders if that shirt he’s wearing is as soft as it looks... 

“Ms. Elizabeth, I‘m still thirsty.” 

Oh god, _right_. _Marcus_. 

Beth clears her throat as she steps around Rio to grab a glass from the shelf. “I am so sorry sweetie, what is it that you wanted?” 

“Just a little water. Daddy says I can’t drink too much before bed.” 

“That’s right, pop.” Rio smiles over at Marcus before turning his attention back to Beth and Beth tries to ignore the heat she feels from it. This is exactly why she needs to reinforce the professional aspect between them. He keeps making things personal, getting inside and twisting her up. 

Beth focuses on pouring just a bit of water into the glass, taking it over to the island and handing it to Marcus. 

Rio comes to stand beside her as Marcus sips on his water across from them. “He’s already had dinner, bed times usually around eight. He can do all his bedtime stuff, just needs a story before he can sleep.” Rio smiles at Marcus affectionately and Beth thinks she’s really testing the strength of her heart by being here. 

“Aight, I’ma head out.” Rio says to him, moving around the island to rub his arm and place a quick kiss on the top of his head. Marcus grins up at him, saying his goodbyes. 

Rio reaches into his pocket, pulling out a keycard and a key and setting them down on the countertop. “Those are for you.” He says, before turning and leaving. 

Beth reaches over and grabs both, turning them over slowly in her hands. The key card must be for building access and the key for their apartment. She takes both over to her bag and places them inside. 

“Alright, so I’m thinking if you get your pj's on and get all your bed time stuff done a little early and out of the way, we can just play some games until it’s time for bed. What do you think?” Beth asks Marcus, who is instantly agreeable to her plan. 

He changes into his pajamas and brushes his teeth and when he’s done, Beth brings her bag over to the dining room table and her and Marcus settle in as she pulls out Monopoly and Uno. 

They’ve played a few games of Uno and they’re halfway into a game of Monopoly when Marcus starts to yawn.  
He protests sleeping, but once he’s in bed, Beth barely makes it to the end of his bedtime story before he’s out like a light. 

Now that she has some time, Beth takes a moment to wander around the apartment, looking at picture frames and knick knacks and books lining shelves. It really is a beautiful space. 

Beth stops when she gets to Rio’s bed, feeling intrusive even though its right there, out in the open. She wonders if he brings women back here when his son isn’t here. She wonders what they must think when they walk in. Or if they even care, if they’re just too focused on Rio... 

Beth mentally shakes herself out of it, quickly turning away from his bedroom space. She’s supposed to be the one reinforcing boundaries and instead she’s imagining what it must be like on that bed with him. 

Time for a distraction. Beth settles herself back on the couch. Rio never gave her a definite time that he’d be back, but she’s assuming it’ll be late, so she’d brought plenty of paperwork with her that she needed to finish and a book she's been reading. 

While she’s filling out the paperwork, Dean calls to update her on his dad’s tests and Annie calls to quiz her about Rio’s place, and remind Beth to give him her number. It’s close to midnight when she finally finishes the paperwork and Beth can feel sleep trying to pull at her. She stretches out her arms and her legs, hoping it’ll help wake her up a little, groaning at how sore her muscles feel. 

She grabs her book and opens it up to where she’d left off but only gets a few pages in before she hears the front door unlocking and being pushed open and she looks over until she sees Rio come into view, looking pretty tired himself. 

He stops by Marcus’s room, peeking in, before making his way over to the couch and plopping down, stretching out low against the back of the couch, and much closer to her than necessary. 

Beth closes her book and tries to think of a way that she can scoot away from him without seeming rude. Or like she’s running away, because she knows that would amuse him to no end. 

“How’d it go?” He asks, voice low, head lolling to the side to look at her. 

“Good,” She matches his pitch, eyes flitting over to Marcus’s room before settling back on Rio, “We played some games. He cheats, you know.” 

Rio tilts his head back in a laugh that he tries really hard to keep quiet, and Beth can’t help but admire his...everything. His laugh, his face, his neck tattoo. All of it together is...kind of breathtaking. 

“He says he learned it from you.” Beth continues with a grin, feeling a little giddy at the fact that she’s made him laugh like that. 

“Yeah, that’s my bad. Can’t believe he just threw me under the bus like that tho.” Rio chuckles, shaking his head at his son’s betrayal. 

“I can’t believe you taught him how to cheat.” Beth teases. 

“Nah, I didn’t teach him, he just picked it up. Kids too smart for his own good.” 

Beth rolls her eyes as she traces her fingers over the grooves along the spine of her book. She’s about to lecture him on the merits of playing fair, especially against _your own kids_ , when his hand slides over hers, pulling it away from her book and over to him and Beth thinks her heart stops beating for a second. 

“Still getting cleaned?” He husks, thumb stroking over her bare ring finger and Beth doesn’t think she’s physically capable of doing anything besides silently nodding. She doesn’t know if he even catches it though, all of his attention on her hand as his thumb moves from her ring finger and down across her knuckles. 

“You know, my sister is single.” The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them, her mind automatically trying to combat what her body is feeling. She ignores the bitter taste the divulgence leaves in her mouth. 

Rio huffs out a little laugh. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, she keeps telling me to give you her number.” 

“An that wouldn’t be a problem for you?” He doesn’t look at her when he asks, but she can tell, even from his profile, how amusing he finds this whole interaction. 

“Why would it be a problem?” The question catches in her throat as he turns her hand over so his thumb can stroke over her pulse point. 

Rio finally looks to her then and Beth’s eyes automatically fall to his lips as her own part slightly and _god_ , that hadn’t worked _at all_.  
And she’s suddenly very much aware of how late it is, how low the lighting is, how quiet it is, how close they are, how _alone_ they are. 

Except they’re _not_ alone, that fact evidenced by the tiny pitter patter of feet they both hear at the same time. Beth pulls her hand away as they both sit up and look over to see Marcus wandering over sleepily, one hand clutching a stuffed dinosaur, the other rubbing at his eyes. 

“’Ey, what’re you doin’ up?” Rio asks, opening up his arms as Marcus climbs into his lap. 

“You woke me up.” 

“Oh, did I? I was tryin to be quiet.” Rio says, rubbing his hand over his son’s back. Marcus mumbles something neither one of them can make out, on the verge of sleep again already, and Beth grabs her book and stands up. 

“I’m gonna go.” She whispers, picking up her bag and throwing the book inside. 

Rio nods as he maneuvers Marcus around so he can stand with him in his arms. “Can you come by the same time tomorrow?” He asks as he starts towards Marcus’s room and Beth follows, pausing once they are outside of his doorway. 

“Sure.” Beth replies, lifting her hand to brush over the sleeping boy's hair before giving Rio a tiny smile. There’s a softness there in his eyes that makes her feel--god, it makes her feel too much and not enough all at once. “See you then.” She adds a little weakly, before turning quickly and striding across the room, opening and then closing the front door as quietly as she can as she leaves. 

Beth hurries down the stairs and out to her car, the cool night air doing nothing to simmer the hot prickly feeling her body is still feeling from Rio's touch. 

_Fuck_ , she is in the worst kind of trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously can not thank ya'll enough for your comments, they are so funny and sweet and I love reading them!  
> I'm tentatively marking this for 10 chapters (depending on chapter length), but may add more.  
> As always, thanks for reading!

The first two weeks following Dean’s father’s hospitalization go surprisingly smooth. 

Beth had braced herself for several unpleasant scenarios, none of which came to fruition. 

Dean split his time between the hospital and the dealership, so was hardly home at all, and that suited Beth just fine. She was still adjusting, acclimating, to her emotions regarding their marriage. 

It was easier without him around. Easier to pretend like nothing was wrong. Easier to talk herself into letting everything go, to make excuses for his past behaviors. To rationalize staying with him. To bury all of her resentment and hurt under a fake mask. 

She distracted herself by baking and cooking, putting all of her restless energy into it. A lot of it went to Dean and his family, making sure they had something besides hospital food to eat. Sometimes she made _too_ much though and she ended up having to drop some off with Ruby and Annie. And sometimes, even Rio. 

That was another distraction that kept her occupied. Her and Rio and Marcus had fallen into a nice little routine. She was over at their apartment most nights, sometimes before dinner (those nights she made sure to bring something), but mostly after. Rio spent most of his days at the café and then his nights at the bar. Beth wondered how he made it through the day, his never-ending schedule seemed exhausting. And he still seemed to have so much energy left over when he came walking through the door at 1 or 2 in the morning. 

On more than one occasion, Beth had ended up falling asleep on the couch. No matter how hard she tried to stay up, sometimes she just couldn’t make it. On those nights, she’d wake up to Rio, either sitting on the couch next to her, texting away on his phone, or over at the dining room table, on his lap top. He never tried to wake her up, even though she repeatedly told him to, always just stayed up with her until she woke up on her own. 

It was part of the reason she tried so hard to stay up to begin with. She was embarrassed at the thought of him seeing her sleep. Of him making the conscious decision not to wake her. To quietly work around her instead. The domesticity of it all was too much for her to handle.

Because no matter how hard she tried to remain emotionally detached, he was still constantly invading her personal space. His words and his touch readily disarming her in every way. It was infuriating. She wanted to ask him why, demand an explanation. Did he treat all of his nannies this way? Or was there something about her in particular that he found too entertaining to let go? 

But Beth knew better than to ask. Her inquiries would only be met with that maddening smirk of his. 

And, what’s worse, she found herself _liking it_. 

She found herself rising to his bait purposely, letting herself get sucked into his little game, relishing in his attention and in the (admittingly few) times she’d manage to come out on top of one of their quarrels. 

It was to this end, that Beth was finding it easier and easier to slip into her role as caregiver to Marcus (and whatever she was to Rio) and more and more difficult to slip back into her role as wife to Dean. 

And then, on week three, Dean’s father got released from the hospital with a home care nurse, Dean moved back home, and everything went to shit. 

* 

Beth was off over the next few days, so she was helping with John’s transition from hospital to home. This morning she was gathering up the freezer meals she’d prepared ahead of his release, getting ready to drop them off, when Dean called her. 

“Hey, Bethie, could you swing by and drop a file off for me? I left it in the office at home and I can’t leave right now to get it.” 

Beth glanced over at the stacks of food on the counter in front of her and sighed. “Yeah, I can stop by after I drop this food off with your mom.” 

“Thanks a bunch! It should be sitting right on top of the desk, it has a bunch of random letters and numbers across the top in blue marker.” 

Beth walks out of the kitchen, through the family room, and down the hall to the office. She pushes the door open and spots the folder immediately. She steps over to the desk and runs her fingers over the scribbled mess of numbers on the front of the file. “Got it.” 

“You’re the best Bethie. See you in a few!” 

Beth hangs up without saying goodbye, glancing around the office, remembering when her and Ruby and Annie had been searching for evidence of Dean’s affair. Her eyes fall on the filing cabinet next to the desk and she reaches over to tug on the handles. Still locked. 

It’s funny that now that she _wants_ to find something, she can’t, but when she was blissfully unaware of Dean’s apparent deceptions, the evidence had just accidentally fallen into her lap. 

Finding the charge on the credit card bill had been a fluke. Dean always handled those bills, explaining how he charged business transactions sometimes, so needed to take care of them himself. She never saw them. 

Except that one time, when he’d left the bill sitting out, semi covered by another piece of paper, and she’d accidentally stumbled upon it, before he got home. And then it was gone after. 

She wonders if it’s in the locked cabinet now. If there are more bills with more charges on them in there. 

Beth bites at her bottom lip as she considers... 

She’s stopping by his office, she could swipe the keys on her way out. If she can find them... 

Beth grabs the file and makes her way over to the door where her purse is hanging up. She grabs it, tossing the file inside, and slings the bag over her shoulder. She makes her way back into the kitchen, sliding the containers of food off the counter and into her arms. She shifts them carefully when she reaches the front door again, cursing herself for always making too much food. She obviously needed to work on stress backing _in moderation_. 

Beth awkwardly navigates the door, locking it behind her and then maneuvers the stairs, breathing a little sigh of relief at having cleared both obstacles. She carefully walks to her car, getting the Tupperware settled onto the floor in her backseat and then she’s on her way to Judith’s, prepping herself, emotionally, for whatever Judith plans to throw at her today. She hasn’t let up on her critiquing of Beth’s “wifely duties” and now she’s also been dropping little comments about grandchildren and Beth is, more often than not, left feeling tense for the rest of the day. 

Luckily, it’s the nurse that answers the door today, and she’s nice enough to take the food from Beth, sympathetic to her plight, having witnessed her and Judith’s previous interactions. As she leaves, Beth sends a silent prayer out into the universe that she gets a nice raise this year. 

Beth takes her time driving to Boland Motors afterward, her anxiety kicking up the more she thinks about dropping this file off and trying to take Dean’s keys. She even drives right past the car dealerships entrance, looping around the block a few times instead of pulling in. 

It takes two more loops before she finally pulls in, praying no one noticed or recognized her car. 

After she’s parked around back, and given herself a pep talk, she marches into the dealership with a new determination—and is immediately bombarded by Amber. 

“Oh my gosh, Mrs. Boland! I didn’t know you were going to be coming in today.” Amber squeaks, standing up behind her desk and Beth shoots her a cold smile. 

“That’s because I don’t have to schedule appointments with you to see my husband, Amber.” She bites out sardonically, trying not to feel bad when Amber’s pretty little face falters at her tone. 

She recovers quickly though, swinging around the side of her desk to stand in between Beth and Dean’s office, and Beth is completely caught off guard when she leans in, placing her hand on Beth’s arm and giving it a squeeze. “I was so sorry to hear about Dean’s dad, we’ve all been doing our best to be here for him during this tough time.” 

‘ **I bet you have**.’ Beth thinks, glaring down at Amber's perfectly manicured hand on her arm, and she’s just about to say something to that affect, when she freezes, the blood in her veins running ice cold. 

“That’s a really nice perfume, Amber.” Beth comments faintly, her eyes shifting over to Dean’s office. She can see him through the large glass windows, sitting at his desk, typing something up on his computer. 

Amber’s hand quickly falls from Beth’s arm. “Oh, thanks! It was a birthday present.” She says, aiming for breezy, but her voice wavers at the end, and Beth’s eyes snap back to her, taking in her hesitant expression. 

_Fuck_. “I didn’t realize it was your birthday.” 

“Oh, it’s not. It was last month.” Amber's shifting a little on her heels, her fingers nervously tapping at the edge of her desk and Beth takes it all in, rage building fast, pulling her in like quicksand. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I have a file to drop off with my _husband_.” Beth hisses the last word out, pushing past Amber and striding toward Dean’s office, her entire body a tense chord waiting to snap. 

She throws open his office door and then slams it shut and Dean jumps in his seat. Beth knows that probably got everyone in the dealership's attention, but she doesn’t care. Doesn't give a damn about appearances right now, because Dean’s apparently been just fine letting her appear the fool for far too long now. 

“Beth?” Dean’s looking at her a mixture of astonished and confused, and Beth could almost laugh at how shocked he seems by her temper. 

And she hasn’t even started yet. 

Beth reaches into her purse and grabs the file, yanking it out and flinging it at the desk, taking great satisfaction in the way it lands and slides across the surface, papers scattering out as Dean scrambles to catch it. 

“You know I kept telling myself I was crazy, I kept trying to talk myself out of believing you would... actually do something like that—” She starts ranting, her words coming out harsh and stilted, her emotions taking over as she paces back and forth across the office space, gesturing wildly with her hands. She's so pissed off she can't even form a proper sentence. 

“What are you _talking_ about?” Dean asks, the confusion on his face deepening. 

And is he really going to sit there and pretend like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about? Okay, she’ll lay it all out for him. “I’m talking about _Amber_ and her expensive taste in _underwear_ and apparently _perfume_.” She bites out, arms stiff at her sides now, hands curled into tight fists. 

Deans face goes ashen as his eyes dart off to the side, no doubt looking for Amber at her desk and Beth wants to throw something at him. 

Dean quickly stands, his chair flying backwards as he rounds his desk, going to the windows of the office and yanking down on the cords, closing the blinds, and Beth folds her arms over her chest as she watches. 

When he’s done, he turns and takes a step toward her and Beth throws her hand out, her face stormy with anger, and he stops in his tracks. He takes a step back and clears his throat. “Look, nothing happened, _I swear_.” He starts and Beth snorts out an incredulous laugh at that. “It was just—it was just harmless flirting, Bethie, just something that happened one day—but then it got...carried away.” He’s quiet for a moment, like he expects her to say something, but she stays silent, content to let him dig himself deeper into his little hole. He sighs, leaning back against his desk heavily, and she gives him credit, he looks pretty devastated at being found out. 

When he speaks next, his voice is low and he’s staring hard at the carpet, avoiding eye contact. “I bought the underwear on a stupid impulse for her birthday. It was a mistake and I regretted it as soon as I did it.” He looks up at her then, eyes pleading. “But I never had the intention of following through with giving them to her and I didn’t! I—I bought her the perfume instead.” He finishes explaining, shrugging his shoulders dejectedly. 

“Why were you buying her anything at all?” Beth asks, feeling sick to her stomach. 

“I don’t know. It was just this stupid fantasy, Bethie. She was paying attention to me and I was lonely.” Beth scoffs at that, rolling her eyes and Dean straightens up, has the gall to look put out. “You hadn’t touched me in _months_.” He gripes and Beth reels back, eyes widening at his audacity. 

“I’m sorry, are you turning this around on _me_?” She jabs her finger into her chest so hard it hurts, but she can’t even focus on that, because all she wants to do is reach around him, grab his name plate off the desk, and smack him across the face with it. 

“Well, what did you think was going to happen?” He sneers and Beth flinches, hand clutching at her stomach, the ache there and in her chest blooming, spreading so fast she feels like she can’t breathe. 

Dean softens instantly, regret etched across his face. He pushes himself up off his desk and Beth stumbles back, away from him and towards the door. 

“Bethie--” 

“I don’t want you at the house.” She’s seething, her body practically vibrating with hurt and anger. She doesn’t look back, ignores the noises of protests coming from his mouth, as she storms out of his office, ignoring Amber, ignoring all of the staff and customers pretending not to stare. 

Beth’s shaking by the time she makes it out to her car. She doesn’t think she can even drive, so she just sits there for a minute, trying to force herself to calm down. She’s just working through some breathing exercises when her phone vibrates in her pocket, jolting her out of her concentration. 

She shifts in her seat, leaning forward so she can pull her phone out of her back pocket. 

It’s Ruby. 

Beth lets out a whoosh of air, staring at her phone for a second before swiping at the green phone icon and putting it up to her ear. “Hello.” Her voice is a little shaky, but thankfully Ruby doesn’t seem to notice as she immediately launches into a tirade. 

“Can you believe I called the bounce house place just now to confirm for Sara’s party and they had the nerve to try to upcharge me! I was on the phone with them for over an hour and I’m _done_. I’m ready to go over there and slash some inflatables.” 

Beth lets out a groan as she slumps forward, forehead hitting against the steering wheel.  
Shit. She’d forgotten all about Sara’s party. 

“What’s wrong?” Ruby asks. There’s a pause and then, “You forgot about her party, didn’t you?” 

“I am so sorry--” 

“Hey, it’s not a problem, you’ve had a lot going on, B. If you don’t think you can handle having it at your place right now, we can figure something else out.” 

“ _No_. It’s fine, I just—it's fine. Our yard is bigger, the bounce house will fit easier, we’ve had everything planned out for weeks, it just slipped my mind.” 

“Look, you don’t have to be there for everyone all the time, you have the right to take some time for yourself--” 

“Ruby, please. I’m fine. I like being kept busy.” It keeps her from thinking about how her life is slowly imploding around her. 

At least this she can control. 

“Alright. You sure you’re okay to bake too? I know you volunteered yourself, but I can seriously just pick something up from the store.” 

“No, I've already got all the ingredients for the cupcakes and the cake at home, I can make them tonight, it’ll be fine.” 

“Alright. Well, since we’re on the subject of desserts...” Ruby pauses, like she’s not sure how she wants to proceed and Beth holds her breath, prepping herself. What could possibly be bad about desserts? 

“I stopped by that café your hot dad friend owns--” Beth’s heart drops as her free hand comes up to grip the bottom of the steering wheel. 

“Rio. His name is Rio.” 

“Right. Well Stan and I stopped by with Sara and they had these French macarons that Sara just loved. So, I was wondering--” 

“I can make those.” Beth cuts her off, desperate for her best friend _not_ to ask her what she knows she’s going to. 

“Well, I know that, but you’re doing too much as it is. And Sara said she wanted those specific rainbow ones they had. So--” 

“Sara’s turning eight, she’s a kid, she won’t know the difference, trust me.” 

“B, could you quit being so damn stubborn for two seconds?” Beth can hear the frustration in Ruby’s voice and she knows she’s lost already. “ _So_ , do you think you could ask _Rio_ if they’d be willing to make like, a dozen or so of those for her party? I know it’s super last minute, but I figure you have an in there...” 

‘ **You have no idea**.’ Beth thinks, squeezing her eyes shut. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea to ask the person I work for, for a favor like that.” 

“I mean, I’m paying for it, I’m not asking for it for free. And you can invite them both to the party. His son is only a few years younger than Sara, right?” 

And there it is—The only way she could’ve possibly made this whole thing even worse. 

“He’s six.” Beth says on a sigh, straightening up and sitting back. She grabs at her seat belt and yanks it around her, buckling it in with a little more force than necessary. “I hope you know; I'm only doing this because I love Sara.” 

“Whatever, you love me too.” 

“In this precise moment, no.” 

“It’s not that big of a deal, Beth. But, hey, when you ask him, see if he’ll give me a discount for having a crush on my best friend.” 

“I'm hanging up now.” Beth says as Ruby dissolves into a fit of laughter. “Bye!” She pulls her phone away from her ear and hangs up, tossing her phone into her cup holder. 

Beth starts the car, giving one last long look at the car dealership before pulling out of her parking spot and out onto the main road, heading in the direction of Rio’s café. 

\----- 

Beth’s hoping against all hope that when she gets there, Rio won’t be there. She’s hoping she can walk in and talk to literally anyone else but him about this. 

But the universe really hates her on this particular day, because as soon as she walks in Janelle greets her warmly and immediately lets her know Rio is out back. Beth’s been by a few times now with Marcus and Rio and they all know who she is. The staff is so friendly and close knit here, Beth wonders if the bar is the same way. She has yet to see it. Rio remains infuriatingly tight lipped about it. 

Beth slips behind the counter, pushing her way through the swinging doors, walking through the back work area, lifting her hand in greeting at a few people, before slipping into the long back hallway. There’s a door at the end that leads outside, and its propped open now, is usually left open most of the time during the day. Beth steps through and looks around, spotting Rio further down, leaning back against the wall to her right. She leans her shoulder against the door jamb, watching him quietly for a minute, while his attention is still on his phone. 

It’s not even a few seconds later that he‘s lifting his head, looking over at her and Beth is just--always caught off guard by his gorgeous face and intense gaze. 

“Hey.” She says, not making a move to approach him further, and he lifts his chin at her in greeting. “Is this a bad time? I can come back later.” She’s hoping he’ll say yes, that she can put this off for just a few more hours--when she’s had time to recover from the emotional onslaught the day has already brought her. 

“Nah, just taking a little break. What’s up?” He pockets his phone and that’s when she notices he has something in his other hand. 

Her eyes widen as she realizes what it is. “Is that—are you smoking _weed_ out here right now?” Beth turns her head to look over her shoulder, eyes scanning the back lot, like she’s expecting cops to suddenly pop up out of nowhere and arrest them both. 

She hears him let out an amused little chuckle before he inhales and she whips her head back around to glare at him. A plume of smoke is escaping between his lips and Beth inhales sharply at the visual. It’s seriously indecent how much that’s turning her on. 

“My bad, do you want some?” He holds it out to her, grin on his face and Beth almost takes it just to spite him. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” She points out, folding her arms over her chest. 

Rio shifts away from the wall, turning to fully face her, amusement still written all over his face. “Is it?” 

“Yes!” 

“Is it _really_ illegal if you don’t get caught?” 

“Still, yes.” 

“Eh, I think there’s some wiggle room there.” 

“There is no wiggle room, it’s illegal or it’s not.” Beth argues, but she can’t help the laugh that slips out between her words. She can’t believe how ridiculous he’s being. And then she’s laughing again, for a different reason and he quirks an eyebrow up at her. 

“It’s just funny how I had to pass a drug test to be hired by you, and now you’re offering me...” She waves her hand out at him and when she realizes he’s still offering it; she shakes her head. 

Rio shakes his head too, like he’s disappointed in her, before he puts it out, stepping closer to her as he does. “Coward.” His voice is low and teasing and Beth shifts back a little, dropping her arms uncertainly, as he keeps slowly stepping forward. “Why’re you here?” 

And—right. Here goes nothing. “My friend Ruby is having a birthday party for her daughter Sara and she really loves your guys’ rainbow macarons, so I was wondering if it’d be possible to order a batch for her party tomorrow.” Beth pushes the words out in one jumbled rush of breath, trying to get it over with as fast as possible. 

Rio pauses in his tracks as he seems to absorb the mess she’s just thrown at him. He tilts his head as he looks her over. “Shouldn’t be a problem. Talk to Jakes on your way out, he’ll set everything up.” 

Beth lets out a tiny sigh of relief, which quickly disappears as he takes another step closer. 

“That it?” He asks, eyes trained on her and Beth is finding it hard to look away, even though she desperately wants to. 

“Uhm, no, actually. I wanted to invite Marcus--and you--to the party.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

Beth clears her throat, shifts slightly on her feet. “Yeah, I think he’d really enjoy it and have a lot of fun.” 

“That the only reason why?” He’s stepping right up to her now, crowding more into her space, the smell of the weed mixed with _him_ making her feel lightheaded. And god, why is it always so hard to concentrate when he’s so close like this, making it nearly impossible for her to function like a normal human being. Especially now, when her emotions are scattered all over the place and she hasn’t had the time or strength to gather the pieces back up. 

“You wouldn’t even have to stick around; you could just drop him off if you wanted. I could keep an eye on him.” Beth continues faintly, ignoring his question because, really, he already knows the answer. She leans a little heavier against the door jamb, the hand at her side reaching out and grasping onto the edge of it, anchoring herself. 

“Why wouldn’t I want to stick around?” Rio asks, eyes scanning over her face as he looks down at her, challenging her to answer any of his questions with a straight answer. Beth feels like her heart is going to beat right out of her chest. He’s so close and all she wants to do is reach out and touch him. Tell him to distract her. Demand that he make everything else from today fade away, like a bad memory. Because she knows he could. And he would. 

Her eyes drop, unable to meet his all consuming gaze any longer, her head tilting down the slightest bit, hair falling forward with it, like a golden shield of armor, concealing all her doubts and fears from him. 

And his hand is reaching out before she even registers what’s happening, his fingers gliding over her temple and down across the side of her face, gently pushing her hair back, before continuing down across her jaw, tilting her chin up. Beth shivers a little and her breath catches as her eyes meet his again. Of all the tiny ways he’s found to touch her since they met, this one feels the most intimate. 

And it’s like he _knows_ what she’s feeling, knows exactly what she’s going through. He can look at her and read her like a book after all--his eyes voraciously absorbing every word he sees, his fingers caressing over the paragraphs of emotion, _of her truth_ , tearing out page after page of intimate detail to tuck carefully away for later use. 

And how can he even _do that_ when her own husband can’t... 

Beth jerks her chin away at the thought of Dean, the movement so sudden that Rio’s hand drops heavily at his side as he shifts back slightly. 

His eyebrows are furrowed, a look of concern and confusion crossing over his features, and Beth steps back, away from him. “The party’s at two tomorrow. If you guys can make it. I’ll stop and talk to Jakes about the macarons. And thank you...for that.” She’s rambling, tripping over her words, but she feels jittery all of a sudden and she needs to get away from him before she does something stupid. Beth doesn’t wait for a response, just turns and steps back through the doorway, hurriedly retracing her steps, locating Jakes on her way out and letting him know she’s going to call later, because there is no way she’s stopping to talk now, and risk the chance of Rio coming back inside while she’s still here. 

Beth doesn’t feel like she can breathe again until she’s safely in her car and on her way back home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I intended to post, but I just kept adding to this chapter!  
> It's like, double the length of previous chapters, so I really should've split it up into two, but here we are!  
> One week until season 3 starts! I'll be posting over on tumblr (sdktrs12).

It’s a gorgeous Saturday morning. The sun is out and there’s a light breeze and it feels like the perfect weather for an outdoor birthday party. 

But all Beth can focus on is how stressed she is and how she feels like she’s straddling the line between giving in to her absolute exhaustion or having a total and complete manic episode. 

She’d spent most of the night baking and setting up for the party, which was fine because she couldn’t sleep anyway. 

Dean had called, more than once, and sent numerous texts, which she ignored. He at least had the sense not to attempt to stop by the house. Although that just made her wonder where he _did_ stay last night. With his parents--or with Amber? 

Had he been telling the truth about nothing happening between them? 

God, she doesn’t know, and she’s not entirely sure it matters at this point. He’d gone behind her back. He’d, at the very least, had an emotional affair. And he’d lied to her. 

A marriage doesn’t come back from that. 

Does it? 

Beth brings her hand up to the bridge of her nose, fingers pinching at it as she feels a headache coming on. 

“You okay?” 

Beth drops her hand and looks over at Annie. “Yeah, fine.” She offers her a weak smile before facing forward again, looking out the window at Rio’s cafe. 

He’d texted her this morning with a time to pick up the macarons, and Beth had called Annie and practically begged her to take her there to pick them up. She needed a buffer, emotional support, because she didn’t think she could handle seeing him alone after what had happened yesterday. 

So, now she’s sitting in the passenger seat of Annie’s car, anxiously checking the time, and waiting. They’d gotten here way too early and she refuses to go in there and have to wait around for the macarons to be ready, especially if Rio is inside. 

“Are you sure? You’ve been acting weird all morning. Like, maybe you had your coffee with an extra shot of neurotic.” Annie pushes, shifting in her seat so she’s facing Beth, studying her. 

“I’m just tired. Long night setting stuff up for the party.” Beth keeps her answer short and vague. She hasn’t told Annie or Ruby about what happened with Amber and Dean at the dealership yet. She’s trying to just survive this day before she dumps that mess out onto them. 

Annie is still studying her critically and Beth shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Usually Annie isn’t too perceptive, but today she’s really trying it. 

“How did your appointment go?” She asks and Beth stills. Oh—so that’s what this is about. 

Annie had insisted Beth get checked, “just in case”, after Beth had told her about her cheating suspicions. She’d just had the appointment a few days ago. And, _god_ , was Annie keeping track of her doctor's visits now? 

“It was fine. I missed some pills again so she was on my case about that, but _it’s not like I'm having sex with anybody anyway_ \--” 

Annie cuts her off with a sharp, “Beth!” 

Beth tries to keep her expression and tone neutral. “What?” 

Annie just stares at her, eyes narrowed and lips pressed tightly together and Beth lets out a sigh. 

“Everything came back fine. All clear.” She concedes, face flushing with embarrassment and more than a little shame at having to talk about this at all. Relief washes over Annie’s face though and Beth feels a little better at the obvious concern from her sister. 

Annie reaches over and gives her hand a quick squeeze. “Good.” Then she’s glancing at the dashboard, checking out the time. “I think it’s close enough, we can probably head in now.” 

Beth’s nodding her head, her hand already on the door handle, when her eyes catch on something outside the car’s windshield, and she freezes. 

Rio’s walking out of the café--and he’s not alone. 

A woman is by his side and she is tiny and pretty and Beth ignores the unpleasant feeling spreading throughout her chest as she watches them walk out into the parking lot together. He seems to be walking her to her car, which is thankfully nowhere near where Annie is parked. 

“Beth? What are you--” Annie’s voice trails off, but Beth doesn’t even look at her, her eyes refusing to leave the scene unfolding in front of her. “Oh my god, Is that him? Is that hot dad friend?” 

Beth just nods her head as she watches the two of them come to a stop in front of a black car. 

The woman is looking up at Rio with a huge smile on her face, and of course she has cute little dimples, and Rio’s looking down at her and grinning as he says something that makes her tip her head back and laugh and Beth thinks she probably has one of those bright bubbly laughs that men love. It looks like Rio does anyway. 

And then the woman is stepping closer and Rio’s embracing her intimately, bending down to place a soft kiss against her cheek, and then _the side of her neck_. Beth sucks in a breath and winces as the sharp ugly pang in her chest becomes more pronounced, trying to claw its way out. 

This woman is dressed in a way and she moves in a way and she is so relaxed in a way that Beth doesn’t think she’s ever looked or felt in her life. She’s young and she’s sleek and she’s trendy and she complements Rio in every way that Beth decidedly does _not_. 

Beth can hear Annie saying her name but it’s like a dull distant background noise as the woman gets in her car and Rio leans down to say goodbye one last time before straightening up and closing the car door for her. 

She drives off and then Rio’s turning and glancing around the parking lot and Beth lets out a surprised squeak as she ducks down in her seat, reaching over blindly to yank on Annie’s arm. 

Annie doesn’t budge though, just stares down at Beth with her mouth hanging open and eyebrows raised. “What the hell, Beth?” 

“Did he see us?” She breathes out, heart pounding as she shifts slightly and Annie is shaking her head slightly, shock and amusement on her face as she lifts her head to look over towards where Rio is and Beth waves her hand out frantically, hissing, “Don’t look, he’ll see you!” 

Annie ignores her though, laughing as she leans forward. “He’s walking back inside. What is _with_ you right now?” 

Beth cranes her neck, peeking her head up a bit to look out the passenger side window. Rio’s gone. She breathes a little sigh of relief as she scooches back up into her seat. “I just don’t want to see him right now.” 

“Why? Didn’t you invite him to this party? Don’t you still work for him?” Annie’s voice is tinged with amusement and confusion and Beth turns to her reluctantly. Annie’s eyes widen slightly as she takes in her expression. “ _Oh my god_ , is something going on between you two?” 

“What? _No_! God, Annie, I’m still married and I work for him.” 

“Yeah, I’m not seeing how either one of those reasons would matter.” 

Beth lets out a tiny exasperated sigh and flops back in her seat. Who was that woman he was with? Were they together? Why would he be so outrageously flirty with her if he was seeing someone else? Although, her being _married_ hadn’t stopped him from the start, his advances coming on stronger with every encounter. 

But even with all of the ways Rio has touched and looked at her, he’s never touched or looked at her like he had with that woman. 

God, how stupid was she? Of course, a guy like him would have his fair pick of women. Here she was flattering herself that he was chasing after her, and he probably just did it out of habit. 

Beth obviously wasn’t anything special. 

“I can’t go in there.” She mutters, more to herself than to Annie. 

Annie’s quiet beside her for a minute, and Beth’s about to tell her to start the car, to drive, she’ll ask Ruby or Stan to come by and pick them up, but then Annie’s grabbing at her door handle, saying “Okay, so I’ll go in.” 

Beth turns to gape at her as Annie moves to push her door open and Beth grabs her arm, yanking on it. “Annie, _no_.” 

“What? I’m trying to do you a favor! You’re obviously having some sorta issue with this dude. Well, _I'm_ not married and _I_ don’t work for him, so I’ll go in and pick up the damn cupcakes.” 

“They’re macarons.” Beth corrects her, slowly loosening her grip on Annie’s arm, before dropping her hand completely. 

Beth glances at the clock and then at the entrance of the café. “Okay, fine. But don’t say or do anything embarrassing. Just go straight up to the counter and let them know you’re there to pick up the macarons for Sara’s party and then _leave_.” 

“Okay, okay! Contrary to popular belief, I do know how to act like a normal human being. Unlike _some_ people.” Annie looks at her pointedly, and Beth stiffens slightly in her seat. 

“Annie, I’m serious.” 

Annie snorts out a laugh. “So am I!” 

“Repeat after me,” Beth leans forward, toward her sister, “I will _not_ go in there and act like a fool.” 

Annie is shaking with laughter, but she does as she’s told, and repeats Beth’s words back to her. 

Beth smiles a little too as she relaxes back into her seat. 

Annie gives her one last long look and a shake of her head before pushing her door open the rest of the way and climbing out of the car. 

Beth has one last moment of panic over sending her sister inside, but there’s no turning back now. Annie pushes the car door closed and marches off toward the café. 

Beth waits anxiously for what seems like forever for Annie to come back outside. She wonders if Rio will come out, thinking Beth is there for the pickup, and wonder what Annie’s doing there instead. Will he text her? Ask her what’s going on? Will he even know? Maybe he won’t even be out front, won’t even know if she’s been by or not. 

Annie finally comes back out with a large box precariously balanced in her tiny arms. Beth reaches over and pushes open the drivers side door as she gets closer to the car and Annie shifts the box in her hands so Beth can grab it and set it on her lap. 

The box itself is really pretty, a heavy duty gift box with splashes of pastel colors on the outside and the café's name in gold lettering across the front. She peeks inside to see a mass assortment of the gorgeous delicate cookies, all sorted out to resemble a rainbow. A tiny gold card is tucked up in the corner and Beth’s fingers slide over it, wanting to take it out and read it. 

Annie lets out a low whistle, leaning over the console to get a better look. “That’s some professional level shit right there. He must really have the hots for you huh?” 

Beth closes the box, her fingers running over the edges a little nervously. “Shut up. He doesn’t even make these, someone else does.” 

“Oh, so your telling me homebody didn’t tell them to make these extra special just for you?” 

Beth lets out an irritated sigh and turns to glare at Annie. “This was a favor. For Ruby. Nothing else.” 

Annie throws her hand up in surrender before turning the car on and pulling out of their parking spot. “So...” She starts hesitantly and then trails off, and Beth closes her eyes, because she knows, whatever is coming next is not going to be good. 

“I went a little off script in there...” 

“ _Annie_.” Beth groans, hand coming up to massage the bridge of her nose, mind racing with all the possible scenarios of chaos and havoc her sister could’ve caused in the 20 minutes she had spent in the little shop. 

“Relax. It wasn’t anything bad. I just asked the girl at the counter a little about the boss.” 

“Oh my _god_.” 

“What? You almost had an aneurysm when you saw him with that girl, I clearly needed to get the dirt on them.” 

“How is that _not_ bad?” 

“I mean, I didn’t tell her I was asking for _you_. Besides, she was pretty tight lipped. _He_ , however, couldn’t help asking about _you_ when he came out and saw it was me and not you picking those up.” Annie lets out a low whistle. Her voice goes deep as she attempts to imitate Rio “Ayo, so you’re Elizabeth’s sister huh?” She’s briefly sidetracked as she glances curiously at Beth, noting, “Because he calls you Elizabeth for some reason?” Beth shrugs her shoulder, trying for nonchalance, and it seems to work because Annie rambles on with, “Anyway, I was like, pop open a phone book and read it to me until I orgasm please. That man is walking, talking _sex_.” 

A strangled noise of disgust makes its way out of Beth’s throat as she wrinkles up her nose, but she can’t help but laugh out loud when her sister sticks her tongue out between her teeth and rolls her eyes back into her head. 

“Hey! Eyes on the road! And there is something seriously wrong with you.” Beth manages to hiccup out between laughs. 

“No, there’s something seriously wrong with you if you don’t lock that down. Seriously, why aren’t you jumping on that D? And don’t tell me Dean, because you deserve so much better than whatever he’s giving you.” 

“ _Annie_...” Beth shoots her a warning glance and Annie throws her hand up in exasperation. She’s quiet for a minute, and then apparently decides to try a different tactic. 

“He wouldn't let me pay for those you know. Said it was free of charge, told me not to mention it.” 

Beth resists the urge to look at her sister, because she knows she’s waiting for her to outwardly react. Instead she stares down at the box on her lap, concentrating very hard on the decorative purple paint splotch up in the far corner. “Huh.” 

Annie lets out a triumphant little squeal. “Oh, you totally have a hard on for this guy, don’t you?” 

Beth winces as her grip on the box tightens. “I _don't_.” She says firmly, can’t help adding, “But even if I _did_ , you saw that woman he was with. I’m _clearly_ not his type.” 

“For all you know that could be a strictly platonic relationship.” 

Beth scoffs, turning her head to raise an eyebrow at Annie and Annie returns her look with a shrug before turning her attention back to the road. 

“I mean, yeah she was pretty hot, but you’re not so bad yourself.” 

“Gee, thanks.” 

“I’m just saying, you always downplay your looks and you shouldn’t. And also, you’re like the most maternal person I know, and a lot of guys really dig that shit. Especially, I’m sure, someone with a kid.” 

And she knows Annie is trying to make her feel better, but it’s just making her feel worse. Because no matter how kind or true her words may be, they don’t change the fact that... 

That Rio was obviously very intimate with that girl in the parking lot, and she was _nothing_ like Beth. Just like Dean had obviously shared some sort of intimacy with Amber, and Amber was nothing like Beth. 

She’s sensing a pattern here and it’s putting knots in her stomach and a tension in her temples. 

Beth tries to push the invasive thoughts out of her mind as they pull up outside of her house. She has a lot to do before this party starts and not a lot of time to do it. It’s a welcome distraction, though, and she immediately throws herself into it as soon as they walk through the door. 

\----- 

Beth leans her shoulder against the doorjamb of the open double doors of her bedroom. She looks out across the yard at the group of kids running around and the adults conversing and she feels...content. 

This is what this house was made for. Hell, it had even come with a massive wooden playset when they’d moved in. It was meant for large gatherings of friends and family. 

That very fact constantly lauded over her by Dean, bringing with it guilt and anxiety. 

It actually felt nice not to have him here--to be able to enjoy this, just like this, without any of his backhanded comments being dropped. 

The parties been under way for a good chunk of time now, and Beth’s debating about bringing up the cake cutting to Ruby. 

Beth straightens up, stepping out onto the small deck and then down into the yard. She carefully dodges a little girl running by, chasing after a boy, smiling at Stan as she passes him at the picnic table, talking with a few other parents. 

Ruby’s by the bounce house, watching Sara and a few other kids jump around. 

“Not gonna jump in there?” Beth teases, coming to a stop beside her. 

Ruby shoots her a look, snorting a little at the question. “I won’t even embarrass myself like that. Although, I say we leave it up for after the kids go to bed--I bet it’s a blast after a few drinks.” 

Beth wrinkles her nose as she lets out a giggle, feeling a little nauseous even thinking about jumping around in that thing drunk. “No thanks, I think I’ll just watch.” She turns fully to face Ruby, bringing her hands up to clasp together in front of her. “So, should I bring the cake out soon?” 

Ruby lets out a laugh as she shakes her head. “Beth, I think you’re more excited about this cake than Sara is.” 

“I’m just so excited for her to see it!” 

“I know, and she’s going to love it. You can bring it out, tell Stan to help you.” 

Beth nods, dropping her hands and turning back to the house. She takes a few steps, eyes on the ground as she toes a soccer ball out of the way. When she looks back up, she stops in her tracks as her eyes land on Marcus and Rio, who’ve just walked out of the side door of the house and onto the patio. 

Her eyes meet Rio’s first, as he finds her almost immediately, a tiny smile pulling at his lips as his gaze drags down her body and back up and Beth can’t help the way her hands smooth over the front of her dress a little nervously. It's just a simple blue wrap dress, but it hugs her curves perfectly and she knows she looks good in it. 

She may or may not have put it on today with the thought of him being here in mind. 

Marcus spots her a second later and he’s calling out “Ms. Elizabeth!” as he darts out across the yard to launch himself at her. Beth wraps her arms around him as she stumbles back a bit, a breathless little laugh leaving her mouth as she looks down at his smiling face. 

Beth runs her fingers through his hair, giving him a little squeeze before letting him go. “Hey, bud. You made it!” 

Marcus is turning and surveying the yard, eyes wide with excitement as he takes in all the various activities and other kids. “Yeah, we picked up a present. Daddy left it inside on the table with the other ones.” 

“Oh, you guys didn’t have to do that.” Beth’s eyes dart over to Rio, who’s still hanging back by the open french doors, “That was very sweet of you. Listen, I’m gonna go talk to your dad, you go ahead and play okay?” 

Marcus nods before running off toward the wooden playset and Beth watches him for a minute, making sure he’s okay, before turning back to the house, giving herself a mental pep talk as she slowly navigates the rest of the yard, crossing the deck and stopping in front of Rio. 

“Door was open.” He says, voice low as he clasps his hands behind his back, like he’s trying to physically restrain himself from reaching out and touching her. 

Beth pushes the thought away, nodding as she clears her throat, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I was just going to grab the cake.” 

“I’ll help.” 

Beth thinks about protesting for a split second, but she can’t think of any good reason _not_ to let him help her, so she just nods again, stepping back through the open french doors to her bedroom. 

He follows her in and it’s...weird, to say the least, having him in her bedroom like this. Even just passing through, it feels strange. She glances back at him, wonders what he must think of the space. It’s vastly different from his loft; floral and colors and clutter. 

He’s looking at her though, nowhere else, and Beth quickly turns back around. Her mind flashes back to earlier, to him and that woman in the parking lot, and her back straightens as she runs her hands over her dress again. 

“Big house.” He notes once they’re in the kitchen and Beth pauses for a moment, turning to face him across the island. 

“Yeah, Dean bought it so we could start a family.” And as soon as the statement leaves her mouth, she wishes she could take it back. The words have come out all wrong, hanging heavy in the air with the knowledge that they actually _haven't_ started a family here. She doesn’t even know why she’d brought up Dean, just an automatic reflex after all these years. The thought of her marriage and starting a family too bogged down now with all the secrets that have come to light. Beth thinks back to when Rio had asked her about not having kids at the café. She wonders if he’s thinking about it too. 

“Yeah, you seem like the type to want kids. You made for ‘em.” 

And the way he says it, like he’s so confident in the accuracy of his words, like he _knows_ her, along with the little self-assured nod he gives at the end... 

It reaches in her chest and just...squeezes. 

And suddenly she wants to tell him everything. She wants to tell him she _does_ want kids; just doesn’t think she wants them with Dean. Doesn’t want a homelife for her kids like she had. Doesn’t want her marriage to turn into her parents’, kept bending to Dean’s will to avoid it, but that’s only made things worse. 

Instead she wordlessly turns away, her eyes falling on the macaron box on the counter. 

“Thank you for the macarons, by the way.” She resists the urge to bring up the fact that he didn’t charge them, since he specifically told Annie not to say anything. Poor guy was naïve to Annie’s inability at keeping secrets. “They turned out beautiful. I was going to bring them out with the cake, so you had perfect timing showing up now.” She forces her voice to be light and airy as she grabs the box, sliding it over in front of her and lifting the box top to look inside at the colorful cookies. 

She thinks maybe he’ll bring up the fact that Annie picked up the cookies instead of her, but he doesn’t. He’s quiet for a moment and then, “Yeah, Jakes’ always a little extra with his orders. Plus, he’s got a thing for you.” 

And that has Beth whipping back around to face him, mouth agape. He’s leaning down against the kitchen island, eyes sparkling with mirth and she scoffs, “He does not.” 

“Oh, he definitely does, ma.” 

Beth freezes at the pet name, heart stuttering as she blinks owlishly at him for a moment, before shaking herself out of it. “Jakes is nice to everyone.” Beth points out, quickly moving to the fridge, suddenly needing a distraction. She hears Rio let out a derisive snort at that, but ignores him. She yanks on the handle, popping the door open wide. Beth pauses briefly to admire the brightly decorated cake on its bright blue cake stand in the center of the fridge. She reaches in to slide the cake stand out carefully. Once Beth has it steady in her hands, she nudges the fridge door closed with her foot as she turns back to the island. She carefully sets it down and automatically looks over to Rio, silently seeking his approval. 

Rio straightens up, rounding the kitchen island to stand by her side. “Kid likes rainbows huh?” 

And Sara does, has been obsessed with all things rainbow for months now. The decorations adorning the house and the yard are all vibrant splashes of color and Beth had made sure every outside layer of the cake was frosted a different color of the rainbow, one blending into the other, bright sprinkles decorating the top along with little candy clouds and pot of gold. 

“It looks real good. I should hire you at the café.” Rio says, leaning into her shoulder as he looks at the cake and Beth has to force herself not to lean back into him too. 

Instead, she side steps away, moving to open the cutlery drawer, pulling out the pie server. “Seeing me at home and at work? I’m sure you’d get sick of me real fast.” Beth jokes, crossing the kitchen to where the knife block is pushed back in the corner of the counter. Her fingers travel over the different sized handles sticking out, before settling on one and pulling it out. 

“Nah, like havin’ you ‘round.” 

And Beth freezes for a second, grip tightening on the utensils in her hands. She forces herself to relax before turning back around to face him, tight smile on her face as she walks back over to where he’s standing, in front of the cake. 

Beth makes sure to leave more than enough space between them, pulling the cake stand closer to her. “I’m sure you have plenty of other people to keep you company.” And it comes out sharper than she intended, giving Rio pause, eyebrow raised as he looks her over curiously. Beth’s just about to backtrack when she hears a noise at the front door and then not a minute later, Dean comes into view, glancing quickly around the house before his attention turns towards the kitchen. 

His eyes land on Beth first and then slide over to Rio, a momentary look of confusion and hostility crossing over his face before a kid and his mom come rushing in through the back, asking about the bathroom. 

Beth points them off where they need to go, and then it’s just the three of them again, and Beth sees it when Dean registers what’s going on. 

“Oh man, is it Sara’s party? I completely forgot.” He says, strolling over to the kitchen, hands in pockets and Beth tenses up. Her eyes dart over to Rio, whose attention is solely on her and it’s like he knows something is wrong, can sense the change in her. 

“Yup.” Beth confirms, wanting to ask Dean what the hell he’s doing here, but not wanting to start anything in front of Rio. “I was just about to take the cake out.” 

Dean nods and then pointedly looks over at Rio again and Beth would rather eat glass than introduce the two of them, but here they are. 

“Dean, this is Rio. He’s Marcus’ father.” Beth says, gesturing to Rio, who finally looks over at Dean. 

“Marcus...” Dean squints his eyes as he tries to place the name and Beth wants to scream. 

“Marcus is the little boy I look after.” She grits out. She startles a little then, looking down at where Rio has slid his hand over hers, and it’s only then she realizes she’s holding the knife in a way that probably could be perceived as threatening, and she lets him gently take it away from her. 

This whole exchange goes unnoticed by Dean, who has a little ‘a-ha’ moment as he finally places who Beth is talking about. “Oh right. Hey man, I’m Beth’s husband.” Dean holds his hand out, and Beth is glad Rio had taken the knife away from her, because she has the strong urge to stab him with it right about now. 

Rio politely shakes Dean’s hand, even though he looks fairly reluctant doing it. 

“So, your son and wife here too then?” Dean inquires, smiling, and Beth wonders if the pie server is too dull to cause damage. 

“Nah, just me an Marcus.” Rio replies easily, but Beth can see the little twitch at his jaw. 

“Dean, I need to take this cake out. I’ll be back in a minute.” ‘And then you’ll tell me what the hell you’re doing here’ goes unsaid, but she knows he gets the gist of it by the way his face falls a bit as he reluctantly nods. 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll just pop out and say Happy Birthday to the birthday girl first.” He gives her a small smile, leaving the room quickly before she can protest. 

Beth closes her eyes briefly as she takes a deep breath in and out. 

“You okay, ma?” 

And there’s that damn pet name again, digging in deep and twisting her up. Beth’s eyes snap open and she nods her head without even looking at him. “Can you grab the box of macarons for me please?” She asks, picking the knife back up, precariously balancing it with the pie server and the cake stand in her hands, heading out of the kitchen and down the hall before he can even answer. 

He catches up to her easily enough, balancing the box in his hands as he trails her outside and over to one of the folding tables. There are goody bags grouped on each side, and Beth places the cake down along with the utensils, gesturing to where she wants the box set next to it. Rio slides it into place and Beth reaches out and adjusts each one until they’re perfectly centered. 

“Thank you.” Beth says quietly, sneaking a glance at him, and he smiles in turn. “I’m really glad you brought Marcus by.” She continues, turning toward the yard, eyes drifting over to the small boy, his little shrieks of delight mixing with the other kids as they hoarse around. 

Rio hums in agreement and Beth turns her head, looking him over as he continues to watch Marcus. He’s always so confident, so relaxed, so sure of himself in every situation. Especially when it comes to her. 

Marcus calls out to Rio from the bounce house and Rio grins back at him. He looks to her, making sure she’s okay, and she smiles and nods, before he heads off to play with his son. 

Beth surveys the yard—Sara playing soccer with a group of kids and Stan. Ruby and Annie sitting at the picnic table, laughing. Marcus trying to convince Rio to climb into the bounce house with him. 

And Dean. Beth hears his loud laughter travel across the yard, and she sighs, because of course, she still has that to deal with. 

She sees him, standing over by the patio table, talking with one of Ruby’s coworkers. She watches as the guy stands up, goes to get a refill, and Beth moves quickly across the yard, wanting to catch Dean before he sneaks off again. 

“Bethie, you did an amazing job here.” Dean praises, beaming at her and Beth comes to a stop opposite him. She takes a deep breath before leaning in, trying to keep her voice as low as possible. “Dean, what are you doing here?” 

Dean shifts back, a frown settling deep on his mouth as his eyes flash with hurt and Beth almost feels bad. 

Almost. 

“I came to pick up a few things. And I thought maybe we could talk.” 

“About what?” 

“Bethie--” 

“I think we talked enough yesterday; I don’t have any more to say about it.” 

“Well, I _do_.” Dean snaps, leaning forward too and Beth resists the urge to step back. “I’m sorry, okay? I made a huge mistake, and I've regretted it ever since--” 

“You regretted it, or you regretted getting caught?” Beth shoots back and Dean flinches. 

“I know it’s hard for you to believe, but it meant nothing, Beth. She means nothing. I love you so much and I need you. I can’t...the stuff going on with my family—I can’t do this without you.” 

Beth feels a sharp stab of guilt and she falters, eyes downcast as she twists at her ring finger. 

Dean reaches over and takes her hand and Beth wants to pull away, but he’s already pulling it closer to him, up to his chest. “Is this why you haven’t been wearing your ring?” He asks, squeezing her fingers, and his touch is so clumsy, too hard and overbearing, a stark contrast to the way Rio had touched her that first night in his apartment. 

“You’re buying underwear for another woman and your pressing concern is my wedding ring?” She asks quietly. 

Dean’s hands tighten on hers and Beth winces, trying to untangle hers from his, but he won’t let her go. “Because not wearing it means something, Beth. It means you’re giving up on us already. I made one mistake and you’re ready to throw all of this away?” His voice breaks on the last part and Beth finally looks up at him. She can see the tears glistening in his eyes and she’s very much aware that they are outside, that Sara’s birthday party is still happening in front of them. 

Her eyes dart off to the side, sees Ruby and Annie shooting her concerned looks, but they seem to be the only ones sensing the tense conversation between her and Dean. 

Except... 

Except Rio’s also watching her, his eyes scanning over her, falling on her and Dean’s joined hands in between their bodies. 

Dean leans even further into her, bringing her hands up to his mouth, placing a kiss against them and Beth watches Rio, watch it all. 

“Bethie, please. Give me one more chance. I swear, it’ll never happen again, and things can go back to the way they were.” 

His words sink in, wrap around her in a vice grip, dragging her down where she can’t breathe. She thinks about when they first met, how young and dumb they were. So eager to grow up and start their lives together. Can she just throw all that history away? All that comfort and familiarity? She thinks about his mom and dad, taking her and Annie in, thinks about them now; his dad sick, mom struggling to cope. And she thinks about Rio and that woman in the parking lot. How easily he embraced her, how comfortable she looked in his arms... 

And Beth looks at Rio now, watching her, arms folded across his chest, jaw clenched--and she breaks away from his gaze, focuses back on Dean, nodding her head silently, ignoring the way yet another piece of her is being snapped off, tossed aside because it doesn’t fit the perfect housewife mold she’s being painfully fitted into. 

\----- 

Beth pulls the rubber band off her wrist, gathering her hair up into a loose ponytail with her hands, before twisting the hair tie in, securing it. 

She pulls her bag closer to her legs, crossed in front of her. She smiles as Marcus bounces up and down on the floor beside her, unable to contain his excitement any longer. “Alright, so here’s the deal. We have time to put these two together and do one race, _maybe_ two, before bedtime. But I'm going to leave them here so you and your dad can play with them later, okay?” 

“Okay!” Marcus shifts onto his knees, hands clasped together and Beth resists the urge to reach over and grab him up in a tight hug. The amount of affection she feels for this kid is almost unbearable at times. 

Beth unzips the top portion of her bag, reaching in and pulling out two small boxes. She sets them down in front of Marcus, who immediately grabs one and brings it up close to his face, carefully examining the packaging and labels. 

“So, those are just the kits with all the little parts to make the robot. The soda cans are separate.” Marcus’s eyes widen as she pulls two soda cans out of her bag next and carefully sets them down in front of her. “We’re not allowed soda.” He leans in and whispers, a very concerned look on his face, like he’s worried his dad is going to pop up out of nowhere any second and then Beth will be in big trouble. 

Beth desperately resists the urge to laugh as she picks both cans back up, shaking them a little as she says, “Don’t worry, these are already empty. I think your dad will forgive us. Besides,” She sets the cans back down and leans in to whisper conspiratorially, “I’m not scared of him anyway.” She winks at him and Marcus grins. 

“I know. You stand up to him. Nobody else does. And he lets you.” He shrugs his shoulder at that last part, like he wonders how Beth manages to get away with it, like it doesn’t quite make sense to him. 

_And he lets you_. Beth ignores the feeling the words leave in the pit of her stomach. She takes a deep breath in and shakes her head, letting it out slowly. She pushes all thoughts of Rio aside momentarily. “Alright, let’s do this.” 

They unpack both boxes, grouping like pieces together, spreading the instructions out between the two of them. 

The boxes had said ages 5+, but Beth’s thinking maybe that was wrong, because she’s even struggling a little figuring out how to attach some of the pieces. They finally get the rings on the body plates and around the cans, Beth handling putting in the screws, and then attaching the tiny motors to the battery casings. 

She lets Marcus attach the bendy straw arms, little gripper hands, and googly eyes. He’s sent into a fit of giggles at the end result and Beth can’t help laughing along with him. The little tin can robots do look pretty ridiculous. 

“Okay!” Beth claps her hands together and shifts, uncrossing her legs and pushing herself up to stand, and Marcus does the same. She reaches down and picks up both robots, handing Marcus one and keeping the other one. “We’re going to start at these chairs over here,” She moves over to the sitting chairs in the living room area and Marcus follows, “and end at the chairs over there.” She points over to the identical set of chairs across from them. Marcus nods his head and Beth sets her robot down on the hardwood floor. Marcus follows suit again, setting his robot down next to hers, but further up a few inches and Beth clicks her tongue disapprovingly. “No cheating!” She chides, pushing his back to line up with hers and Marcus throws his arms up in the air. “I thought that was the starting line.” He insists and Beth rolls her eyes. “Yeah, okay.” She snorts out, “Alright, on the count of three. _No_ cheating.” She reminds him, and it’s his turn to roll his eyes and Beth presses her lips together to keep from smiling at that, not wanting to encourage him. 

Beth kneels down behind her robot, Marcus already behind his, hand on switch, impatiently waiting. “One...two... _three_.” They both slide the button in the back up and the robots wobble off, the flimsy arms and springy googly eyes flopping around with the uncoordinated movements and Beth can’t even focus on who’s winning, because she’s laughing too hard at how dumb and adorable they are. 

Marcus is already over by the other set of chairs, cheering his robot on, coaxing it as it wobbles closer. Both of them end up veering off to the side a few times and Beth has to keep stepping in and course correct. In the end, it’s Marcus’s robot who wins. But just barely, Beth points out as he does his victory dance. 

They do one more race, which Marcus wins again, and Beth briefly wonders if he’s cheating and she just hasn’t figured it out yet, before calling it quits so he can get ready for bed. 

Once she has him down, she moves around the living room, collecting the boxes and instructions and the robots themselves, placing everything together on one of the side tables. 

Beth yawns, stopping to stretch her arms up high above her head, groaning a little at the ache it causes in the rest of her body. 

She feels exhausted. Tired, deep in her bones. Something she’s beginning to think is never going to go away. 

Beth shuffles over to the kitchen, rubbing at her eyes with the heels of her hands. She’s going to need some coffee if she’s going to stay up until Rio gets home. Her steps falter a little as she thinks about him, about seeing him before he left for work earlier. 

They hadn’t seen each other since Sara’s party last week. 

After she’d agreed to give him a second chance, Beth had told Dean she still needed some space. He’d moved back into the house, but was staying in the guest room. 

Beth had kept her distance from Rio for the remainder of the party. It wasn’t hard, seeing as how he’d, unfortunately for him, made quite a few friends in the PTA moms, and they’d readily kept him distracted. Annie had eventually taken pity on him, swooping in and pulling him away to hang out with her and Ruby at the picnic table. Beth had watched him with them, Ruby clearly thanking him for the cookies, gushing over them, Annie probably teasing him about the PTA moms. And she could see it, the way he easily charmed even them. Her mind had kept flashing back to the woman in the parking lot. 

They’d done the cake and gifts and goodie bags, and she didn’t talk to him again until he was heading out, saying a quiet goodbye to an exhausted Marcus resting against his chest. 

It had been harder than she thought it would be--keeping her distance from him, physically and emotionally. It’s part of the reason she’s so bone tired. The mental gymnastics she’s had to play between him and Dean--it’s draining. 

Beth’s phone vibrates in her back pocket and she pulls it out to see a message from Dean. She swipes it open with a sigh. Apparently, his dad has been butting heads with the nurse, not letting her do her job properly, and she’s quit. Beth rolls her eyes as she closes out the text, shoving the phone back into her pocket and then leaning down heavily against the kitchen island, resting her head in her hands and closing her eyes. 

Was this ever going to get easier? 

Can you force the façade to become the real thing? If she pretends long enough, believes hard enough, will it become so? 

Beth scrubs her hands over her face before dropping them, pushing herself off the island and moving over to the metal shelving unit at the far end of the kitchen, grabbing the french press there and then shuffling back over to the sink area and the pipe shelving above it. She pulls down the container she knows Rio keeps coffee grounds in just for her (she smiles as the thought crosses her mind), and sets the press and the container on the countertop before she goes to the wooden chest of drawers, pulling open the third one down and grabbing the little scoop in there before shutting it again. 

She heats up some water and sets about making herself the strongest cup of coffee she can bear. 

She’s on her second cup when she hears the front door open and she pulls out her phone to check the time. Almost midnight. Earlier than he normally comes in. 

Beth sets her cup down on top of the coaster on the coffee table. She reaches up and tightens her ponytail a little, feeling anxious now that he’s here. 

She watches as he comes into view, head hanging down and hoodie pulled up, hiding most of his face. Which is weird because he never wears it that low. Beth frowns as she stands up slowly, taking a few steps forward. 

Rio doesn’t even pause as he walks right past the living room, past _her_ , heading straight for the kitchen. “He asleep?” His voice is rough, gravelly in a way that she’s not used to hearing. “Yeah.” Beth answers hesitantly, frown deepening. Is he still mad about the party? They’d both been a bit awkward with each other earlier, before he left for work, but nothing like this. She thinks maybe she should just pack up her stuff and head out, leave him to brood by himself, but she can’t stop herself from crossing the living room into the kitchen, pausing once she reaches the island, not trusting herself to get any closer. He’s facing away from her, grabbing the vodka bottle from the corner of the kitchen counter, sliding it toward him. She’s just about to ask him if he’s okay, when he reaches up to grab a glass from the shelves above the sink and she lets out a tiny gasp as she sees his bloodied and bruised knuckles. 

Beth keeps the lights low after Marcus goes to bed, really only leaves one of the lamps next to the couch on this late. It’s mostly dark throughout the loft, the soft light from the living room casting a dim glow across the rest of the vast space, so it’s taken this long for her to _really_ see him, to be able to fully take him in. She sees him stiffen as she straightens up, as she quickly closes the distance between them, and the closer she gets the more horrified she becomes. His black hoodie is torn and even darker in some spots, and she realizes its... 

It’s _blood_. 

Beth reaches up, pulls his hoodie down off his face and he turns to look at her sharply and Beth yanks her hand back as she takes in his face. 

He’s got a cut at the corner of his bottom lip and another one at his eyebrow. There’s a bloody scrape on his forehead, almost at his hairline, and there’s other splotches of blood, on his hoodie and the shirt underneath. 

“What the hell happened?” She forces her voice to stay low, eyes darting across the loft, over to Marcus’s room, before going back to Rio. 

Rio turns away from her, taking the vodka and his glass over to the kitchen island, carefully sliding onto one of the stools. “Nothin’.” 

And Beth rolls her eyes at that, because of course that’s what he would say. 

Once he’s comfortably settled, he pours himself a generous amount of the vodka, immediately lifting the glass to his lips and taking a long drink. Beth notices he’s trying not to use his right arm and she rounds the island, coming up on his right, and she falters a bit as she sees the tear in his hoodie again, but now, up close, it looks more like a _slash_. The fabric looks like it’s matted to his skin, fresh blood mixed with dry caked in there. 

“ _Rio_...” Beth starts to reach out, to touch him, but drops her hand at the last minute. “What happened?” She asks again, worry straining her voice, a million different scenarios playing out in her head. 

“Got caught up in a fight at the bar.” He shrugs his shoulder as he takes another drink and Beth just stares at him, speechless for a moment. 

“A bar fight?” She finally repeats skeptically, arching an eyebrow at him. Rio doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at her as he sets his drink down, fingers tapping impatiently at the glass. 

Beth wills herself to calm down, counts to ten as she steadies her breathing, as she quiets her racing brain and heart. Her eyes go to Marcus’s room again. She needs to get him cleaned up as soon as possible, in case Marcus wakes up and sees him. 

“First aid kit?” She asks with a sigh and Rio looks up at her sharply. 

“S’fine. You don’t need to--” 

“First. Aid. Kit.” Beth grits out, hands on hips and Rio looks her over before letting out a deep put upon sigh. He waves his hand out toward the bathroom. “Right side, underneath the sink.” 

Beth makes a beeline for the bathroom, ducking down to look underneath the sink, reaching way in the back for a large bright orange bag with a white cross stitched on the front. 

Beth’s eyebrow furrows and her frown returns as she sets the bag down on the sink, unzipping the top compartment to look inside. 

It looks like a Med-E-Pak kit, the ones carried by paramedics and nurses for emergencies. 

What the hell. 

Beth quickly zips the bag back up, grabbing a washcloth too before returning to the kitchen, where Rio is pouring himself another drink. 

She sets the bag down on the countertop. “This is a pretty extensive kit. This happen a lot?” She struggles to keep her voice even and calm as she asks. 

“Nope.” 

“Liar.” 

He laughs at that, surprised, and Beth can’t help the small smile that slips out in response. It quickly disappears though as Rio winces, the laugh pulling at the cut on his lip. 

Beth inhales deeply, letting it out slowly as she opens the bag up again, sifting through the various supplies, pulling out alcohol swabs, gauze, bandages, and anything else she thinks she may need. 

Once she has all the supplies laid out, she pushes the bag aside, moving around the island, to the sink. She pulls a large plastic bowl out from under the sink and fills it with water, washing her hands before taking it back over to the island. She set it down next to the supplies and pulls the stool beside Rio closer to him. He’s still facing forward, hasn’t moved a muscle and Beth settles into the stool with a sigh, her body facing him, knees brushing against his outer thigh. 

Rio watches her quietly, a look on his face she can’t quite decipher. Curiosity, maybe? Amusement, definitely. He’s always infinitely amused by her, no matter how serious the circumstances. 

Beth remains quiet too, as she dips the washcloth into the water. She hesitates briefly, looking over at him, and he just smirks back at her, clearly not willing to make this easy for her. 

She reaches out and gently pulls one hand away from where they’re still wrapped around his glass, and he lets her at least, doesn’t resist. Beth carefully holds it up with her hand, admiring a little how much bigger his hand is compared to hers, as she gently wipes the blood from his knuckles. 

She doesn’t have to ask for the other hand when she’s done, he just offers it up silently and Beth’s eyes meet his briefly before they drop back down to his hand. She soaks the washcloth in the bowl, trying not to wince as the clear water tinges pink as she squeezes the washcloth out. 

She repeats the same motions with the other hand. Once they’re both clean, she swipes the alcohol pads across his knuckles, gauging his reactions for any pain. He doesn’t let on if it stings, but she wouldn’t expect him to. 

Rio finally turns to face her, legs slotted in between hers, when she’s done and Beth starts all over again with the cuts and scrapes on his face, starting with the one on his forehead. She adds a tiny bit of antiseptic cream to the scrape and the cut on his eyebrow after she’s cleaned them both. 

The only cut left is the one on his mouth, on that pouty lower lip of his, and Beth hesitates with the washcloth in her hand. Rio reaches over, gently taking the hand with the washcloth in it, and guides it up to his face, to his mouth, pressing it against his lip. Beth’s heart skips a beat as his hand slides off of hers, over her wrist and then down her arm, giving it a light squeeze before letting go. 

Beth gently pats at the cut, not wanting to put too much pressure on it. She repeats the motions with the alcohol pad, barely dotting at the cut with it, but this time he does wince. 

And without thinking, Beth leans forward and gently blows on the cut, soothing the sting. Their faces are so close and Beth swallows thickly. She knows she should pull back now, but she can’t quite bring herself to do so. 

And it’s an automatic reflex, the way his hand reaches out to graze against the side of her face, but it's with his injured arm and he lets out a tiny hiss, cussing low as Beth straightens up, her eyes going to the slash in his hoodie, concern etched on her face. 

“I need to take care of that too.” She points out softly and he looks ready to argue for a minute, but seems to think better of it, simply nodding his head instead. 

Rio very slowly and very carefully removes his hoodie, sucking in a sharp breath as he peels the sleeve off his injured arm. He tosses the hoodie onto the counter, looking down at his arm, twisting it a little to get a better look. 

“You get a lot of customers whipping out knives in your bar?” She asks dryly as she squints at the wound and Rio looks up at her, grin on his face. “It can be a pretty rough crowd.” He replies with a shrug. 

Beth rolls her eyes at that, leaning in closer to get a better look. The cut is long but not deep—Thank god, Beth thinks, because she doesn’t think she could stomach it if he needed to be stitched up. 

And she knows this is going to hurt so much more than his hands or his face, so she reaches over and refills his glass, grabbing it and bringing it up to her lips and drinking deep, wincing as it burns down her throat, the heat spreading throughout her chest and down into her stomach. 

Rio quirks an amused eyebrow at her, corner of his mouth twitching up as she sets the glass back down in front of him. 

“Can you--” She gestures at his shirt, and Rio reaches over and carefully rolls the sleeve up to his shoulder. He shifts in his seat, twisting a bit so she has better access to his arm. 

And Beth gets to work, the water in the bowl turning a deeper shade of red each time she wrings the washcloth out. The wound starts bleeding again from the washcloth pulling at his skin and Rio’s jaw clenches as his grip tightens on his glass. 

“Does it hurt?” She asks, cleaning up the last bit of old blood and setting the washcloth down in the bowl. 

“Nah.” He breathes out, taking another drink and Beth huffs out a laugh. 

“Well, this probably will.” She says, right before she presses the alcohol swab along the cut as quickly as possible, and Rio hisses, arm reflexively jerking away. 

“Sorry.” Beth bites back a smile at how irritated he looks. “It’s better when you don’t see it coming. Something I learned from the kids. Although most of them handle it a lot better than you just did.” 

Rio continues to glare at her as she rips open a few packets of gauze, handing them to him. “Hold these over it for a few minutes.” 

He takes them reluctantly, pressing them tightly against the cut. 

Beth takes the bowl and the washcloth to the bathroom sink, rinsing both out thoroughly, before bringing both back out to the kitchen. She holds the washcloth up and Rio jerks his chin over to the garbage. Beth tosses it, then places the bowl in the kitchen sink. 

She settles herself back down on her stool, digging through the bag again for some Steri-strips, fresh gauze and adhesive wrap. 

Beth gestures for Rio to move the gauze he has pressed to the cut and he does, tossing it down on the island. It looks like the bleeding has stopped, or at least slowed, again so she starts bandaging it up, Steri-strips first, followed by the gauze, finally securing it all with the wrap. 

She leans back and admires her work, feeling pretty proud of herself. Then she looks up and catches Rio staring at her, that dark eyed look he gets that sends a shiver down her spine. 

Beth clears her throat, scooting her stool back before standing up, cleaning up the mess on the island, packing the first aid kit back up and returning it to the bathroom. She washes her hands again, noting how they’re shaking a little under the running water. 

Beth shuts the water off, quickly shaking her hands out, willing them to steady, as she dries them. 

When she comes out of the bathroom, she sees Rio peeking into Marcus’s room. He turns when he hears her and she gives him a little smile. “He still asleep?” She whispers and he nods, turning away from his room and following her into the living room. 

Beth starts to silently gather her things up. She sees Rio out of the corner of her eye moving to the side table she put the robots her and Marcus had built earlier on. 

Beth smiles as she moves closer too, coming to a stop next to them as he picks one up. “We built them earlier. Had ourselves a race. I told him I'd leave them here for you two to play with. I hope that’s okay. He was really excited about showing them to you.” 

“Course.” He sets the robot back down, turning to face her and Beth’s eyes fall to the bandage on his arm. 

“Are you going to be okay?” She asks, even though she feels ridiculous doing it. 

He smirks at her, rolling his shoulders back a little. “Just a scratch, Elizabeth.” 

“Right.” She fidgets with the strap of her bag. “I should get going.” 

Rio hums in agreement, but neither one of them moves. 

“I hope you don’t expect me to play nurse from now on. I’ll have to charge extra for that.” She’s just talking nervously now, not sure why she can’t make herself turn around and walk out the door. 

Rio chuckles, shaking his head a little as he steps closer. “You askin’ for a raise already?” 

“I mean, you were a pretty difficult patient, we might need to renegotiate terms if that’s how you’re going to be every time.” 

“Well, your bedside manner leaves somethin’ to be desired.” 

Beth scoffs at that. “Trust me, I could have been much worse.” 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it. You vicious, ma.” 

Beth laughs at that, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth as she glances over at Marcus’s room. “I should go.” She repeats as she drops her hand down to her side. 

And when she makes no move to leave _again_ , she realizes... 

She really doesn’t want to go home. She thinks about calling Ruby, about calling Annie, but it’s so late... 

And Rio must realize something is up, because the next thing he says is, “Stay for a drink?” 

Beth looks up at him, tilting her head to the side as her eyes scan over all the sharp angles of his face. 

And she knows she shouldn’t stay. It goes against everything she’s been working toward the last week. 

Staying would just be tearing one more wall down between the two of them--kicking a hole in that line she’s been so adamant about keeping in place. 

It feels nice though, it feels _good_ , being around him. She feels _heard_. She feels _seen_. 

It’s dangerous. 

Beth opens her mouth, intent on saying no—but what comes out is... 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has A LOT of good stuff coming with it, hang in there guys!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check that much needed and well deserved ratings bump!  
> I'm going to apologize ahead of time for the next chapter, it's going to be very...rough.  
> The blocks of italics are flashbacks to the night Beth was at Rio's apartment in the last chapter. I hope the past/present tense switch isn't too confusing!

Beth grips the edge of the bed, the comforter bunching up in her hands, as she watches Dean move around their bedroom, pulling clothes out of drawers and down from hangers, tossing them onto the overnight bag lying next to her on the bed. She absentmindedly nods along as he talks, only half listening to his words. 

Dean’s father is back in the hospital. It’s been a few days since the nurse up and quit, and they hadn’t even been able to find a new one before he ended up in the hospital with a high fever and illness. Apparently, he’d been feeling sick for awhile but hadn’t told anyone. Which was a recipe for disaster; since his immune system was so shot from cancer treatments, an infection had taken hold and spread quickly. 

“I still can’t believe he would hide being sick for that long.” Dean mutters, coming out of the bathroom with a mini bag of travel toiletries and tossing that on the bed too. 

Beth nods in agreement, because really, she can’t believe it either. Dean’s dad has always been absurdly stubborn, but this was pretty extreme, even for him. 

“All because he didn’t want to end up back in the hospital,” Dean continues, coming to a stop in front of the bed, hands on hips, frustration clear in his voice. “And that’s exactly where he is now anyway.” 

“He probably just didn’t realize how serious it was.” Beth inputs helpfully, feeling like she should contribute to the conversation with something. Although she’d already spent all night reassuring him, soothing him, so she’s not sure what else she can say. 

Dean looks to her then, nodding his head slowly, before stepping up to her and Beth’s fingers twist into the comforter. “I’m so glad you’re actually here with me, Bethie. I can’t imagine having to deal with this without you here.” 

He reaches out then, grabbing onto her arms to pull her up and into him and Beth stumbles a little bit at the force with which he does it, caught off guard. He wraps his arms around her and squeezes and Beth reluctantly returns the hug. 

And she knows his words had been a subtle dig at her nannying job, the subject a sore spot for them over the last few days. 

The night Rio had come home hurt and Beth had stayed for that drink, Dean had been up, waiting for her when she got home. 

( _Beth had stumbled a little as she’d pushed open the front door, trying to be quiet. The house had been dark and she’d squinted as she closed the door behind her, wondering if she could risk turning the light on. She’d stepped further into the hallway, pulling her phone out to use as a light and she’d gasped, hand flying up to clutch at her chest, when she’d heard Dean’s voice coming from off to the side, “Where have you been?”_

_Beth had swallowed hard as she’d turned to the sitting room, saw Dean leaning forward, elbows on knees, in one of the armchairs. The small side table lamp had been on, casting the room in a dim glow and shadows._

_Beth had tucked her phone back into her pocket, fidgeting nervously. “I was with Ri— **Marcus**. You know I have to stay late sometimes.” _

_Dean had scoffed, his whole body wound up tight as he’d clutched his hands together in front of him. “Yeah, that’s all you seem to do lately; work late over there.”_

_Beth had tried to find her place in the hostile conversation. She’d let her bag slide off her shoulder and onto the floor, folding her arms up over her chest defensively. “Do you have a problem?”_

_“Yeah, my problem is I’ve been trying to reach you for an **hour**. I think I should be able to reach my **wife** when I need to at 2 o’clock in the morning. Hell, I think my **wife** should be **home** at 2 o’clock in the morning.” _

_“I **work late** sometimes, why is this suddenly a problem now?” _

_But she knew why now, they both did. It’s because he knew Rio now, had a face to put to the name, had seen him interact with Beth. He’s jealous. Feels threatened. And wasn't that just the funniest damn thing?_

_“I’m starting to think maybe it’s not work that you’re doing.” The words had cut through her thoughts, and Beth had been left dumbfounded for a solid minute, couldn’t even believe he was implying what she thought he was. She’d recovered quickly though, anger swelling in her chest at the sudden attack of **her** moral character. _

_“ **Oh** , do you really wanna go **there** right now?” She’d asked quietly; dangerously. _

_“Yeah, maybe I do. C’mon Beth, what am I supposed to think?”_

_“Funny, **I** wondered the same thing every time you “worked late” and you were really with **Amber**.” _

_“Jesus, Beth, how many times do I have to apologize for that--”_

_“More than the **one time** that you actually have.” _

_“So, that’s just going to hang over my head, until you decide you don’t want to hold a grudge anymore?”_

_“Yeah, maybe it is.”_

_Dean stood up then, throwing his hands up in the air as he’d stormed past her, snidely throwing out, “You know, for someone who doesn’t want to be like their mother, you sure do have her talent of driving a husband away.”_

_Beth’s hands had balled into fists at her sides as she’d spun around to glare at him, tears springing to her eyes at his words. There he was going again, putting the blame on her for all of this. “I guess it’s so much better to take after a cheating misogynistic father.” She’d snapped back, before she could stop herself._ ) 

The argument had left a bitter taste in her mouth, her stomach twisted up until she felt physically ill with it. Beth had left him in the hallway, his body stiff with anger at her comment about his father, and locked herself in her room, her mind racing with all of the loaded comments that had been thrown around in such a short amount of time. 

And she had been in such a good mood coming home from Rio’s too. 

( _Rio had left her to change into some less bloody clothes, coming back out in a white t-shirt and grey joggers and Beth had felt the very strong urge to reach out and run her hands over every inch of him._

_“White? That’s a bold choice, looking the way you do right now.” She’d teased. “I live dangerously.” He’d shot back._

_Then he’d poured her a bourbon and him another vodka and they’d settled back into their respective stools at the island, Beth making no move to scoot hers any further away from Rio’s. She had unsuccessfully tried to pry more information out about the bar fight. He’d skillfully dodged every question with an annoyingly **non** answer and she’d finally given up. _

_She’d brought up Marcus’s suspicious race wins and Rio had laughed so loud, she thought for sure he’d woken up Marcus. But the little boy didn’t stir, so Beth had challenged Rio to a game, wanting to see the master of cheating himself in action. She’d conceded to letting him choose the game, and when he’d picked monopoly, she’d scoffed, because she was the **Queen** of monopoly. _

_And that was how they’d ended up spread out on the floor; Beth on her belly, front propped up on her elbows, ankles crossed behind her, Rio sitting across from her, elbow resting on bent knee, the monopoly board between them._

_“Oh my god, you are **the worst** at this game.” Beth had complained just as he’d leaned forward to grab yet another hotel from the little baggy holding them. “What’re you talkin’ about, I’m winnin’.” He’d retorted. _

_“No one **wins** at monopoly,” she’d laughed out, “just like no one plays by the **actual** rules. **That's** how you’re cheating. And the worst.” He’d quickly procured way too many properties (With houses and hotels to boot) in an insanely short amount of time, and was actively trying to bankrupt her. Beth was a little resentful of having to revoke her title. _

_After the game, she’d inquired about the bar again. “Are they as close knit there as the ones at the café?” She’d asked, sitting up and pulling on her hair tie, rolling it onto her wrist before running her fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp a little._

_When he was quiet, she’d looked up and caught him watching, eyes tracking her fingers as they slid through her hair. She’d dropped her hands immediately and he’d just smirked at her before finally answering. “Yeah, we close. Know they got my back.”_

_“Even in a knife fight?” She’d pushed and Rio had rolled his eyes. “Yeah, ‘specially in a knife fight.”_

_“That’s a lot of trust to give.”_

_“I got a good instinct for people. Plus, I vet ‘em.” And--right. Like the background check the agency had run on her. “Can’t run a background check on everyone you come across though.” She’d joked._

_“You’d be surprised.” He’d said dryly and she’d looked up at him curiously. He’d gotten up to get a refill then, offering her one. “No, I have to drive. Which---I should probably get going. It’s way past my bedtime.”_ ) 

And she’d left feeling lighter than she had in months. 

Leave it to Dean to ruin that for her too. 

And, god, she’d thought as she’d angrily paced her room that night, was this how it was going to be between the two of them? The bitter resentment bubbling underneath the surface of this picture perfect forgery, just waiting to explode? 

She’d been left feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. _Again_. 

Beth gently pulls back from Dean now, disentangling herself from him to move to the pile of clothes on the bed, giving herself something to do to look busy, so he’ll quit touching her. She starts folding them up and packing them into the bag, and she hears Dean start moving again behind her, and she breathes out a tiny sigh of relief. 

“I’ll see you later, right?” Dean presses and Beth’s hands pause in the middle of folding up a shirt, just for a second, before she resumes, voice forcibly light and airy as she says, “I’m not sure, I have some things to take care of, but maybe after?” It’s a lie, but he doesn’t know that. Not yet. 

He smiles at her, turns around and heads back into the bathroom, this time shutting the door behind him. 

Beth’s been fighting an inner war with herself over the last few days--since leaving Rio’s. 

Since her and Dean’s fight that night. 

His words had cut her to the bone, leaving behind a wound she knows will never fully heal. 

He won’t divorce her though, too intent on keeping her, no matter how miserable they make each other. And she can’t leave him the way things are now, knows if she tries to fight him on it, he’ll guilt her into staying. 

But she knows he’s hiding _something_. If not cheating, then something else. Whatever’s in that damn filing cabinet. 

If she can find something physical, something tangible, something she can throw in his face, make him realize this is never going to work... 

So, she has a plan. 

After she sees him off to the hospital, presenting her cheek when he leans in for a kiss, she sits and she simmers on his words comparing her to her mother. 

He’d been angry, hurt--somewhere low enough that he’d went straight for the jugular with that, taking some twisted satisfaction in dragging her down low with him. 

Beth knows he’d left his keys in his office at work, had forgotten them there the other night. If she waits until everyone leaves, until they close, she can sneak in and grab them. 

She goes about ticking chores off her list while she waits, anxiously checking the time every hour that passes. 

She lets herself freak out about her plan as it gets later, as night approaches. She wavers on following through, feeling bad about planning an ambush on Dean when his father is in the hospital. 

And then...she drinks. 

It’s only after three glasses of bourbon, and a lot of arguing with herself, that she steels her resolve, grabbing her keys and the spare key to Boland Motors, and orders herself an Uber on her phone. 

Beth’s halfway to the dealership when she has a mini panic attack, realizes she needs someone to force her to follow through with her plan. 

Annie is at work and Ruby is on an overnight thing with Sara’s girl scouts troop. 

She flips through her contacts until she finds the name she’s looking for, clicking on it and bringing the phone up to her ear before she can change her mind. She stares out the window, noting the accumulating mist clinging to it. Because _of course_ it would start raining now. The phone rings a few times before there’s a quiet click as the other line picks up. 

She doesn’t bother waiting for a greeting. “How do you feel about a little B and E?” 

Her Uber driver looks at her sharply in the rearview mirror, but she ignores him. 

There’s a moment of silence and then, “I think it’s illegal and weren’t you jus’ lecturin’ me ‘bout that?” His voice drawls out over the line. 

Beth thinks back to their conversation behind the café. “So, I’ve recently developed a moral grey area,” She responds dismissively, “Besides, is it illegal if you have a key?” 

“It’s not a B and E if you gotta key, I think you a lil fuzzy on your laws here darlin’--” 

Beth lets out a frustrated little sigh, “Whatever, I’m not arguing with you about it. Look--” 

Rio cuts her off with, “You been drinkin’?” 

Beth frowns as she blows a puff of air out, ruffling her bangs. “That’s completely irrelevant.” 

Rio huffs out a laugh. “I think it's pretty damn relevant.” 

“ _Look_ , he’s hiding something from me,” She doesn’t specify who, and she doesn’t have time to unpack all the things that come with the fact that _he doesn’t even seem to need clarification_ , “I need to know what.” 

He’s quiet for so long that she pulls the phone away from her ear to make sure they haven’t been disconnected. Then his voice rumbles out, decisive and firm, “It aint a good idea. Go home Elizabeth.” 

Beth’s stunned for all of five seconds and then she’s pissed off. “Fine.” She snaps, hanging up the phone before he can say anything else. “I’ll do this without you.” She mumbles to herself as she shoves the phone into her back pocket. 

When they arrive at Boland Motors, Beth reassures the driver he is _not_ , in fact, aiding and abetting her in a criminal act, before he leaves her to it. 

She feels the occasional droplet of water as she comes to a stop outside the glass double doors, but ignores it as she fumbles with wrestling the key out of her tight front pocket. She lets out a string of profanities when she finally pulls it out and then promptly drops it on the ground in front of the doors. 

Beth crouches down to pick it up and her eyes catch on a set of boots that suddenly come into view on the other side of the doors. 

_Shit_. 

Beth’s eyes travel up, up, up, until she sees Gary, the night security guard, looking down at her curiously. Beth smiles weakly as she pushes herself up, actively trying not to stumble, hand coming out to grip the bar handle. 

Gary unlocks the doors, pushing open the one that she’s not leaning into. 

“What are you doing here?” She asks before she can help herself. Because she was sure he would’ve left by now; something must’ve held him up. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” He responds dryly, and she thinks maybe he can tell she’s had some to drink tonight. 

She can feel herself flush as she nervously fidgets with the key in her hands, flipping it over with her fingers. “Oh, I was just getting something for Dean. He’s got so much going on right now, he forgot his set of keys. Figured I would just swing on by and grab them.” Beth lets out a nervous little laugh at the end, thinking maybe Rio had had a point about this being a bad idea. 

“Uh huh.” Gary looks skeptical, but he steps aside and Beth lets out a quiet whoosh of air as relief washes over her. Beth gives him a smile as she steps past him and through the set of doors. “Well, I was just leaving,” He continues, door still open and they both glance back outside when they hear the distant rumble of thunder, “Remember to lock up behind you and be careful driving out there.” 

Beth almost tells him she didn’t drive here, but thinks better of it, just nods a confirmation, waving as she watches him leave. 

“ _Shit_.” This time she says it out loud, leaning heavily against the nearest desk as she takes in the large open space in front of her. 

There’s a dim glow cast from a few lights left on overnight, so she can at least somewhat see as she makes her way over to Dean’s office. 

She pushes open the door, leaving it propped open, and she heads straight to his desk, turning on the light there. 

Beth starts rifling through the things on his desk, and god, it’s such a freaking mess, she’s half inclined to organize it before she leaves. 

“Knew you was too stubborn to listen.” 

Beth gasps, hands flying up to her chest as she whirls around, eyes wide as they land on Rio, casually leaning against the office door, hands folded over his chest, look of pure amusement (and she thinks some irritation) on his face. 

“Didn’t even hear me come in, huh? I wouldn’t quit your day job, cause you terrible at crime.” 

Beth rolls her eyes as she drops her hands back down to her sides. “I wouldn’t _dream_ of quitting my job, my boss would be lost without me.” 

Rio hums in agreement, eyes traveling over her form, taking in her all black outfit, and Beth grips the side of the desk to keep from squirming under his perusal. 

“Wanna tell me what you’re lookin’ for?” He asks, stepping further into the office and Beth turns back to the desk. 

“Now you want to help?” She clucks, chin up in the air and Rio huffs out a laugh as he sidles up next to her at the desk. 

“Somebody gotta keep you outta trouble.” 

“And that somebody is you?” 

“Sure.” He replies easily with a slight shrug of his shoulder. 

“’It’s rotten work.’” Beth quotes, with a small, if not a little sad, smile. 

“'Not to me', mami.” 

And her breath catches at that, her heart pounding in her chest as her eyes flicker over his face, the way his darken as the moment stretches out between them. 

There’s a low rumble of thunder again, closer than the last, and Beth’s eyes leave Rio to look out over the dealership. 

“Keys,” She says, eyes still focused outside the office windows, voice soft, “I’m looking for a set of keys.” 

Beth can see him nod out of her peripheral vision, sees him pick up where she left off on the top of the desk. 

She lets out a little sigh as she reaches over and pulls open the thin drawer at the front of the desk, fingers pushing aside papers, loose rubber bands, wincing as a loose thumbtack pokes her finger. She brings it up to her mouth, sucking on the fingertip lightly as her other hand closes the drawer. 

She notices Rio still beside her and her eyes dart over, thinking maybe he’s found something, but he’s looking at her. More specifically, at her finger in her mouth. 

Beth drops her hand, rubbing away the wetness at her fingertip with her thumb. “Nothing in there.” She says weakly, fingers touching the drawer. She turns away from him before he can say anything, hand reaching over and pulling at the bottom drawer on the side of the desk. 

Locked. _Of course_. 

Beth yanks on the drawer above it, more aggressively than necessary, but she expects it to be locked too. 

She lets out a little squeak of surprise as it flies all the way open, a loud click snapping through the quiet air as it reaches the end of its metal track. 

She quickly looks over her shoulder at Rio, who’s already shaking his head at her, looking like he’s trying very hard to hold back his laughter. 

Beth shoots him a glare, before turning back and pushing some folders aside, letting out a triumphant little noise as her eyes land on the keys. She grabs the key ring, turning and shaking it at Rio with a grin and he grins back at her, clearly pleased with her victory. 

“So, what, exactly, are we usin’ these keys on?” 

Beth feels warmth spread through her at his use of the word “we”. 

“They unlock a set of drawers at home,” She says, and then she turns her head, eyes falling on the locked bottom drawer, “And maybe here.” 

Beth sits down in Dean’s office chair, rolling it closer to the drawer, working her way through the various keys as Rio leans against the back of the chair, watching over her. 

She’s at the second to last key, and she closes her eyes, holding her breath as she pushes it in and turns it. It clicks into place easily, drawer popping out slightly as it unlocks. 

Beth turns with a little gasp to look back at Rio. 

A look she can’t quite decipher crosses over his face for the briefest moment, something akin to...concern or worry maybe? But it’s gone before she knows it and then he’s straightening up, looking down at her, saying, “You sure you wanna look in there? No turnin’ back if you do.” 

And that gives her pause, because... 

He’s right. Once she knows, she _knows_. 

Beth’s quiet for a minute, that inner war raging inside again, before taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly as she silently counts to ten. 

And then she pulls it open. 

And it feels like all of the air has been sucked out of the room as her vision goes fuzzy around the edges, and a faint roaring sound fills her ears, and she thinks, huh this should not feel so familiar. 

But it does. 

And then Rio’s voice is cutting through it all, bringing everything, nauseatingly, back into sharp focus. “I don’t suppose those are yours?” 

And a near hysterical laugh forces its way out of Beth’s throat at the question. 

The bright red bedazzled underwear is entirely too small and too tacky to be hers. But they look a perfect fit for Amber. There’s an opened box of condoms next to them. 

At least he’s wrapping it up, she thinks distantly. 

“Elizabeth?” Rio’s hand slides over her shoulder, giving it a tiny squeeze and Beth closes her eyes as tears prick at the corners of them, threatening to spill over. 

Then she stiffens as her eyes snap open, immediately landing on the familiar looking folder underneath the underwear and condoms. 

She knows that folder. She’d thrown it on Dean’s desk when she’d first found out about him and Amber. 

Why would he lock it up... 

Beth leans forward, Rio’s hand sliding off of her shoulder as she does. She reaches in to pull the folder out, carefully avoiding the underwear and condom box. 

She slaps it down onto the top of the desk and Rio steps back, off to the side, giving her some privacy. 

Beth flips it open, eyes scanning over the first document inside, before flipping to the next and the next, words and numbers that she doesn’t understand contextually jumbling together with ones that she _does_ as her breathing quickens because... 

There’s their home address and their bank accounts and the Boland Motors address alongside a lot of numbers in red. 

_A lot_. 

And she thinks she understands that. And she thinks if she takes these keys home, if she unlocks more drawers, she’ll find more folders, more papers, just like this. 

Of course he’d trusted her not to even think about looking inside when he’d asked her to bring this folder to him. To even understand what any of it meant even if she did. 

God, she was dumb. All that time looking for evidence, not realizing what she had in her hands. Not realizing what she was handing over to him; the weapon he’d used to hemorrhage their whole life away, marking his hands as red as the ugly mass of numbers splashed across its pages. As red as those panties in his drawer. 

Beth stands up quickly, the office chair rolling out behind her. She looks around the office, at all the drawers holding his secrets. At the pictures of the two of them on his desk, covering up his betrayals. 

Her eyes land on his set of golf clubs in the corner of the room, the set she’d bought him for Christmas last year after he’d started going regularly with his dad. 

A fantasy plays out in her head, of using those golf clubs for something much more violent. 

Rio shifts, coming around to the front of the desk, following her line of vision. He side eyes her for a moment before striding across the room, reaching out and randomly plucking up one of the clubs, turning to face her as he rolls it in his hands, turning it over to swing gently from side to side, as he slowly makes his way back over to her. 

Beth swallows hard, ears perking a bit as she hears the storm finally break outside, thunder and then a flash of lightening invading the room, and she could almost laugh at the horror movie vibes it's all giving off. 

This what her life is like now. A horror movie. 

Rio stops in front of her and holds the golf club out in a silent offering. 

She hesitates, head shaking in weak protest, even as her heart beats faster. 

A small smile plays at his lips as he steps up and around her, presses against her back as his arms envelope her, bringing the golf club around in front of her, grabbing her hands and wrapping them around it. “Coward.” He taunts, just like he had at the café, this time whispered in her ear and Beth shivers, feels a little thrill run through her body as he lets go of the golf club and she hangs on to it. 

She hadn’t taken what he’d offered before, and maybe she should have. 

Maybe she will now. 

Beth shakes the club slightly in her hand, feels the weight to it, before lifting it up, wielding it like a bat, and Rio steps back as she swings it out and down, smacking it against the top of Dean’s desk, relishing in the loud thwacking sound it makes as it connects, at the way everything scatters around it. 

God, that feels _good_. 

And it’s like the storm rages outside in the same tempo that Beth rages in Dean’s office (or maybe she does with it?), thunder and lightning flashing solidly with every connection of the club against solid surface. 

Her arms tire eventually, but Beth can still feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins even as she lets the club slip from her hands and fall to the floor. 

Beth surveys her work, feeling oddly proud at the extensive amount of damage. 

Her eyes fall on Rio, leaning back against the wall, his eyes hooded and dark, that intense gaze of his making her skin feel prickly and hot. 

He pushes himself off of the wall and walks toward her, stepping over the various broken and ripped items that now litter the floor. 

Rio comes to stop right in front of her, so close his chest brushes against her breasts and Beth feels like her heart is going to beat right out of her own chest. He reaches up, fingers gently pushing at her bangs where they’d fallen in her face while she was using the golf club. “Feel better?” He asks, eyes dropping to her mouth as her lips pull up into a smile. “Much.” And she also feels unstable. A bit dizzy. She’s not sure if it’s because of him or the alcohol or the adrenaline. Or all three. 

And she’s about to tell him to get her the hell out of here, to take her anywhere but home, when they both hear a noise outside of the office, in the dealership. They both turn their heads to look out through the glass windows and Beth sucks in a sharp breath and Rio cusses as they watch Dean storm across the room, eyes angrily locked in on them. 

“Shit, shit, _shit_.” Beth mutters under her breath, moving away from Rio, eyes darting around the destroyed office. 

“Hey--” Rio reaches out to her, but then Dean’s at his office door, a look of total shock on his face as he surveys the room. “ _What the hell_.” His voice is sharp, loud as it echoes through the room. 

“Dean--” Beth starts, taking a step toward him, placing herself between him and Rio. 

Of course, that makes him instantly zone in on Rio, the anger coming back full force as he shifts his focus over to Beth. “I can’t believe this. What the hell are you doing here with him, Beth? What the hell have you done to _my office_?” 

Beth hears Rio exhale sharply, huffing out a humorless laugh and she turns just in time to see him take a step forward, and her body is seized with panic. 

Why the hell had she come here? 

Beth steps closer to Rio, hand coming out to grab his arm, to stop him. “Can you wait outside please?” She asks, voice low, eyes pleading. His jaw clenches, hands fisted at his sides as he glares at Dean, and she squeezes his arm a little tighter. Finally, he gives a quick nod, leaving the office to wait out in the showroom. Far enough to give them distance, but close enough he can come if she needs him. 

“I can’t believe this,” Dean repeats, hands on hips as he looks around his office again, “My dad’s in the hospital Beth, and this is what I have to come deal with?” 

“Who even told you I was here?” She asks, and then it clicks, right before he answers, “Gary called me as soon as he left. Said you were acting weird. Drunk or high or something.” Dean scoffs as he shakes his head, “Is that it? You decided it wasn’t too late for a little high school rebellion, you needed some extra attention, you wanted to get back at me over this Amber nonsense?” 

And the more he talks, the more she feels the need to pick up the club again and whack him in the knees with it. “Nonsense huh?” She repeats calmly, rounding the desk and grabbing a pen off the floor, hooking into the underwear in the drawer and lifting it up for him to see. 

It’s oddly satisfying, the look on his face when everything clicks for him. She’s never seen anyone turn quite that pale quite that fast before. 

“Bethie, I can explain--” 

“I don’t want your explanation, Dean.” She snaps, flinging the pen with the underwear at him. They land just short of him, so she furiously reaches in and grabs the box of condoms, chucking those at him too. She’s aiming for his head, but is still satisfied when it hits him square in the chest instead, condoms flying out and raining down onto the floor. 

He gapes at her in stunned silence and Beth wonders how she ever managed to put up with him for so long. “How long?” She asks, and she can see him falter a bit as he considers how he wants to proceed. 

“ _How. Long._ ” She repeats, _demands_ , and his shoulders slump in defeat. 

“It was only a few times, I swear. Bethie, _I swear_ , when I told you she didn’t mean anything, I meant it--” 

“You know Dean, I think it really says something about you, that you’d think that stupid fucked up sentence would in any way make me feel anything other than the deepest amount of disgust toward you, and pity for Amber.” 

Dean hangs his head, hand coming up to rub at his neck, and she sees it, the moment his eyes take in exactly what papers are scattered all over the floor at his feet. His body stiffens and then his head snaps up to look at her, eyes filled with fear, and Beth nods her head in confirmation. “Yeah, wasn’t enough for you to gamble our marriage away on another woman, you had to gamble our whole life away too.” 

“I made a few bad investments!” He protests, throwing his hands out helplessly. 

Beth scoffs, jawing rocking a little as she looks him over, burning rage filling every part of her body. “ _This_ is what you wanted to bring children into? _This_ is the life you wanted for them?” Her mind flashes back to her own homelife, except this is even worse than that, because they at least had had money, even after their dad had left. She’d had to steal some before their mom could spend it all on booze and pills, risking her wrath, just to help her and Annie survive. 

“It was supposed to be _for_ them.” Dean replies and Beth looks up at him sharply. “If it had panned out, they would’ve been set. For college. For whatever they wanted.” 

And suddenly, Beth is just so very much _exhausted_. She feels all the anger drain from her body as she takes one last long look around at the destruction she’s caused and then heads for the door. 

Dean steps forward, like he’s going to follow her out. “Wait, where are you going?” 

“As far away from you as possible.” 

“Oh, so you’re just going to run off with _him_?” He snaps, gesturing angrily to where Rio is calmly and quietly waiting for her. 

And she can’t believe out of all of this, that’s what he’s choosing to focus his energy on. “Yeah, Dean, I am. I’ll leave you to clean up a mess for once in your life.” She says tiredly, pointedly looking back over his office. 

And then, she walks out with Rio. 

\----- 

They are both soaked through by the time they stumble into his apartment and Rio goes to grab some towels from the bathroom. He comes back and hands her one, trying to dry himself off with the other. 

Beth shivers, goosebumps spreading over her skin as she shakes a little. 

“’Ey, you okay?” Rio asks, coming up to her and rubbing his hands over her arms and Beth nods, even as a fully body shiver racks through her again. 

The adrenaline and the booze are wearing off, leaving her a wet anxious mess. 

“Look, I’ma grab you some clothes to change in to, you can stay here tonight, yeah?” 

And Beth almost protests; it’s not a good idea, and she doesn’t even have anything here, but one look at him tells her he’s not going to listen to any of that. So, she just nods her head yes. 

He grabs her a t-shirt and some sweatpants and Beth takes them to the bathroom to change. She strips all of her clothing off, including her bra and underwear, and pulls the t-shirt and sweatpants on. She runs her fingers through her hair, trying to detangle the wet mess, giving up after just a few passes through. 

She gathers her clothes up and takes them out with her to the living room, where Rio is. He’s already changed, into an outfit similar to hers, except he’s also wearing one of his black hoodies. He takes her clothes from her to throw them in the dryer along with his. 

“I’m guessing you need a drink?” Rio says when he comes back, voice light and teasing and Beth smiles and nods gratefully. She follows him into the kitchen, sliding into one of the stools as he prepares both their drinks. 

Beth downs the first and second ones, only slowing down on the third when her head starts to feel nice and fuzzy again. 

It’s what makes her feel comfortable enough to say, “I saw you with that girl in the parking lot at the café. The one with the black car.” 

And she can see it takes him by surprise before he quickly schools his features. “Oh, yeah?” 

“Uh huh...” She trails off, trying to stare him down, stare him into some sort of confession that she doesn’t have to _ask_ for, but he just stares blankly back. 

“You are so _annoying_.” She complains and he laughs at that, always amused by her irritation. 

“Yeah, you tell me that a lot.” 

“Well, it’s true a lot.” 

“You got something you wanna ask?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

Rio rolls his eyes, letting out a little sigh, before leaning down onto the counter, fingers wrapped tightly around his glass. “We’re just friends.” 

And Beth goes completely still for a second as she tries to process that bit of willingly given info. 

“You kiss all your friends like that?” She asks as nonchalantly as possible and Rio straightens up, rolling his shoulders back as he does. “What d’ya want from me here, Elizabeth?” 

Beth lets out her own little sigh at that, finishing off her drink before answering. “I don’t know. We’re not...there isn’t... _I know_ there’s nothing between us and I have no right to care about who you kiss. I mean, just because I'm not having sex doesn’t mean you can’t.” Rio’s eyebrows shoot up at that and Beth feels herself flush deep. “I just have some very obvious and serious trust issues when it comes to men.” She finishes lamely. 

Something flashes in his eyes at that and Beth frowns a little as he seems to mull something over in his head a split second before he opens his mouth. “Elizabeth--” 

“ _No_ ,” She groans out in frustration, leaning back in her seat and covering her face with her hands, “Please, don’t. Whatever you’re going to try to drop on me right now...just _don't_. I can’t handle anymore tonight.” 

She lets her hands slide down and off her face and she can see his jaw rock, posture stiff, but he reluctantly nods his head. 

“Good.” She affirms, nodding along with him as she stumbles off the stool and she sees him round the island, reaching out for her but she waves him off, wobbling her way over to the living room, as he trails behind. Beth plops down rather ungracefully onto the couch and she clocks it, the way he watches in awe as her breasts shift freely underneath the t-shirt she’s wearing. 

“I’m sorry I roped you into all of this.” She says meekly, feeling herself flush with embarrassment as she acknowledges this whole mess of an evening in one simple sentence. 

Rio shakes his head as he sits down on the coffee table across from her. He’s so close, his legs are settled along the outside of hers, closing her in. “Nah, don’t do that. Don’t take the blame for him. None o’ that was your fault, Elizabeth.” 

Beth lets the words sink in, let’s them wrap her up, comfort her. 

“I can sleep here.” She says suddenly and Rio looks a little startled at the change in subject. 

“Nah, I don’t trust you not to fall off the couch and smack your head on the coffee table. You take the bed, I’ll sleep here.” 

Again, it’s the way the alcohol (and more than a little residual emotional turmoil) has loosened her inhibitions, that causes Beth to suddenly shift up, leaning forward into his space, reaching out and pushing her hands into his hoodie pockets. “You could join me.” She breathes out, looking up at him through her lashes and Rio pops an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching up as he looks down at her. 

“You’re drunk.” 

“Well, obviously.” She snorts, rolling her eyes. 

“Yeah, I don’t do drunk chicks.” He says and Beth tries not to feel offended. 

She moves closer still, hands still bunched up in his hoodie pockets, stretching her body up to nuzzle into his neck, breathing in deep. “You smell really good.” She murmurs, lips brushing against the wingspan of his tattoo and she can feel the vibrations of his groan as his hands automatically come out to grasp at her hips. 

“You’re makin’ this real hard, sweetheart.” Rio says, hands giving her hips a squeeze. 

“Good.” 

He laughs then, and she can feel his lips press against the top of her head in a quick kiss and she melts a little more into him. 

And it’s the sound of her phone incessantly vibrating over on the kitchen island that makes her pull away reluctantly. Rio stands up, pulling her up with him, steadying her as he does. She slips out of his grasp and carefully makes her way over to her phone. 

She lets out a soft string of cuss words when she swipes it open and sees a string of missed calls and texts from Dean. The last one says he needs her at the hospital. Beth bites at her bottom lip, unsure of how to respond. 

“Y’know, he only needs you cause you with me.” Rio says from across the room, and she looks up and over at him. And he’s so solid and sure and unwavering, that she finds herself nodding her head, shutting her phone off and setting it back down on the island without a second glance. 

Beth slowly walks back towards him and he watches and waits, and she doesn’t stop until she’s pressed right up against him, hands reaching up and tentatively pressing against his chest. 

“Can you...” Beth pauses, clears her throat as her fingers flex against his shirt, “Will you...come with me? To bed? Just at least until I fall asleep?” 

She thinks maybe he’ll protest again, remind her she’s been drinking, like she doesn’t already know, like that has anything to do with what’s going on between the two of them. 

But he nods his head instead and she smiles in relief, hesitantly sliding one of her hands down and into his. He gives it a light squeeze before leading her over to his bed and Beth suddenly feels a little nervous looking at it, being so close. 

Rio’s just watching her and waiting again, letting her decide what she wants to do. 

So, she slowly climbs onto the bed, getting herself settled underneath the covers, and he rounds the bed to climb in on the other side, making a conscious decision to lie down _on top_ of the covers beside her. 

Beth shifts over onto her side, bringing her hands up underneath the pillow, and Rio mimics her and they just...look at each other for a few moments, and Beth thinks... 

She thinks maybe this right here is what she could’ve had if her parents marriage hadn’t imploded, dragging her and Annie down along with it. If she hadn’t settled for Dean, been so desperate for the physical, _material_ , security he had offered, rather than the emotional security she had so desperately needed and he had severely lacked. 

Beth feels her eyelids growing heavy, the exhaustion from this whole mess of a day trying to drag her into sleep. 

Before she closes her eyes, before she lets herself drift off, Beth let’s out a tiny little yawn and a mumbled, “Thank you.” to Rio, who hums in response and reaches over, fingertips lightly grazing along the side of her face, thumb gently swiping over her chin dimple, and then she’s out. 

* 

Beth wakes up a little while later, disoriented and more than a little confused at her surroundings. 

She squeezes her eyes shut and then opens them again, adjusting to the darkness of the room. 

And then she remembers. 

She’s at Rio’s. 

That fact is really cemented by the heavy weight against her back, the pair of arms wrapped tightly around her. 

They must’ve moved in their sleep, the covers kicked down by her feet, and no wonder she didn’t need them anymore, because, _god_ , this man is a freakin’ furnace. 

She shifts a little to look at the bedside clock, and lets out a quiet groan. She’d only been asleep for a few hours. She thinks it's probably Rio wrapped around her that woke her up. She’s not used to...cuddling? Is that what this is? 

Whatever, her and Dean didn’t touch like this often, and it’s a little disconcerting. Especially when she shifts again, back this time, and she feels the hard length of him press against her ass. 

Beth freezes, hands twisting into the sheets as she tries to regulate her breathing. And suddenly all she wants to do is press against him harder, roll her hips back just to _feel_ him. 

And it’s dumb, so, _so_ dumb--but she _does it_. She can’t help it, her body taking control and her mind giving it up willingly and she’s wiggling back against him, feeling wet heat gather between her legs already, and then his hand is sliding down to her hip, stopping her movements as he groans into the back of her neck, and Beth shivers as she presses her legs tightly together. 

She pushes her hands into the mattress, giving herself leverage as she rolls her hips back again, despite his hand on her hip. 

“ _Elizabeth_...” Rio’s other arm is under her, wrapped around her waist and his hold on her tightens as Beth lets out a little whimper. 

_God_ , now that she’s started she doesn’t want to stop, wants nothing more than to taste him, to feel him-- on top of her, _inside_ of her. 

“ _Please_.” She breathes out, reaching back and grabbing at the back of his neck. 

She hears him let out a string of obscenities and then, “ABC’s backwards. Go.” 

And just—”What?!” 

“Sobriety test.” He groans, fingers sliding underneath her shirt, flexing against the bare skin at her hips as she continues to squirm back against him, the ache between her legs becoming unbearable. 

Beth lets out a breathless little laugh, because god, he’s so freaking ridiculous, but she closes her eyes to try and concentrate anyways, conjuring up the alphabet in her head. His hands on her and his body pressed against hers is so distracting though, and then his lips brush against the nape of her neck and Beth’s hold on his neck tightens. 

“Z...y...x...w...” She pauses, a breathless giggle escaping, “I can’t even do this sober--” Beth lets out a little shriek as Rio suddenly flips her over onto her back. “Good enough.” He says, eyes wickedly dark and Beth swallows thickly as she stares up at him. 

And she knows he’s going to wait for her, to let her make the first move, to set the pace. So--she does. 

Beth reaches up, fingers smoothing over his brow, tracing along those sharp gorgeous cheekbones and that ridiculous jawline. Then her thumb swipes slowly over that lush bottom lip and she wants nothing more than to kiss him. 

She wraps her hand around the back of his neck again, pressing him down, leaning up to meet him, their lips coming together in the softest tiniest kiss and Beth’s not entirely sure what the sudden feeling is in her chest, but it blooms out too quickly, almost painful as it seizes control of every nerve ending in her body. 

They pull apart and Beth slides her other hand up and under his shirt, her fingers smoothing over his back and the hard lines of muscle there, and it feels so good to be able to touch him like this. 

This time it’s him who initiates the kiss, who makes it deeper, turns it into something so much _more_ , and Beth moans into his mouth as she moves against him, desperate for friction, for _him_. 

It’s not long before they’re undressing each other, a soft kiss or touch after each piece of clothing comes off. 

And then Rio’s mouth and hands are _everywhere_ , the sensations overwhelming as he works her into a fervor, his mouth hot and wet on her breasts, his hand in between her legs, stroking over her clit before pushing two fingers inside and Beth’s hips rut uncontrollably against him, her hands grasping at his shoulders, and _god_ , it’s been so long since she’s done this, since she’s _felt_ this. 

He’s trailing kisses down her body and his mouth is replacing his hand before she can fully comprehend what his intentions are and Beth gasps as her back arches off the bed, her hands twisting up in his sheets. 

He chuckles low and Beth moans at the way it feels against her, her legs trying to close, her hips not sure if they want to grind down against his face or pull away. 

Rio makes the decision for her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her still as he continues to delve into her soft folds, alternating between lapping at her clit and sucking at it. Beth’s hands come down on his shoulders, her fingernails digging into skin as she feels the familiar pressure building up, tightening like a coil, ready to fucking _snap_. Rio must know she’s close, because he slides two fingers inside of her again, crooking them up and rubbing at the rough patch along her inner walls, his tongue relentless against her clit and Beth’s entire body feels taut as she comes impossibly fast and hard, tiny little shockwaves of pleasure coursing throughout her entire body. 

Beth sinks back into the mattress, feeling absolutely boneless and exhausted. Rio kisses his way back up her body and Beth bites at her lip as her overly sensitive body twitches under his touch. And then his mouth is on hers again and Beth wraps her arms tightly around him, relishing in his weight between her legs. 

Her hips rock against him, his hard length pressed against her turning her on, making her ache all over again for him. 

Rio pulls away from the kiss, breathing labored as he rests his forehead against hers, hesitant to go further, needing her reassurance. “Rio...please...” She whispers, hand coming up to cup the side of his face and he turns his head to place a soft kiss against the palm of her hand, before reaching down between them, lining himself up with her opening, and slowly sinking down inside of her. 

Beth inhales sharply, her hands reaching out and grabbing hold of his arms, clutching at them as she tenses up. 

Rio leans down, soothing her with soft words and small kisses scattered across her face, her neck, her chest. Beth slowly relaxes, her grip on his arms loosening and Rio pulls back and smiles down at her and that same overwhelming feeling in her chest from before takes hold again, and Beth pulls him down into another kiss, her hands sliding around to his back, pressing into his skin as she rocks her hips, encouraging him to move and Rio groans, just before he pulls almost all of the way out and then sinks back in again. From there he sets a slow languid pace and Beth lets herself get wrapped up in him all over again, the tension building, but deliciously slower this time, burning low but bright, until they’re both desperate for release, Rio picking up his pace as his hand slips between them, his fingers finding her clit again, and it’s not long before she’s tipping over the edge, pulsating around him as she clings to his back, and then he’s following her shortly after, burying his face in her neck, sucking and biting at the soft skin there as he comes inside of her. 

Rio collapses on top of her and Beth tightens her hold on him, pressing her lips against his shoulder, tasting the salty sweat clinging to his skin. 

“Fuck.” He groans into her hair and Beth lets out a giggle as she skims her fingers along the flexing muscles in his back. Rio pushes himself up onto his forearms, looking down at her, eyes skimming over her face intently and Beth resists the urge to look away. 

“You okay?” He asks and Beth knows he’s not just asking about physically. 

“Yes,” She says firmly, nodding her head for good measure, “I’m good. _We're_ good.” 

He examines her for the briefest of moments, like he’s searching for traces of doubt, or a lie. She knows he won’t find any, because there are none, and he seems to come to this same conclusion because he leans down and places a soft kiss against her temple, before gently pulling out of her. He rolls over to the nightstand and grabs a few tissues out of the box. He cleans himself up and then her and Beth tries not to squirm under his touch. He rolls out of bed to throw the tissues away and Beth watches him move around the open space, eyes roaming over all of his hard lean muscle and sharp angles. 

Beth quickly pulls the covers up from the end of the bed, wrapping them around her, feeling more than a little awkward. 

What now? 

Beth’s never done this before—had sex with someone she’s not dating. Is this a one night stand? A friends with benefits? What had felt good in the moment is spreading panic through her now. 

But of course, Rio sees the shift in her as soon as he gets settled back in the bed, can sense her emotions going haywire, and he huffs out a laugh as he reaches over, gathering her up in his arms and pulling her close, arranging her around him exactly how he wants. 

Beth tilts her head back, glaring up at him. “I am not your rag doll.” 

“No shit, dolls are a lot less mouthy.” 

Beth lets out an affronted little squawk, bringing her hand up to pinch at his side and Rio laughs as he snatches her hand up, biting at her knuckles and Beth pouts up at him. “You like my mouth.” She insists and he grins down at her before closing the distance between them, purring “Yeah, I do.” against her lips before pulling her into a deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote referenced in the Brio office scene-  
> “Pylades: I’ll take care of you.  
> Orestes: It’s rotten work.  
> Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.”  
> ― Anne Carson, Euripides


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have been so nervous about posting this chapter because I know everybody is going to absolutely hate everything that happens in it, but _please_ know, Brio will always be end game in my fics, and trust when I say, it _will_ get better from here.

Beth let’s out a tiny moan as she shifts in bed, burying her face in the pillow under her head. She already knows it’s too early to be up. Her mind and body never in sync when it came to mornings, her mind whirring for her to wake up, her body nagging for more sleep. 

Beth lifts her head slightly, squinting at the bedside clock. Yup, way too early. 

She lets out a quiet sigh as she settles back into the bed, turning her head to look over at Rio. 

Except, he’s not there. 

Beth sits up straight, clutching the sheet to her chest as she rubs at her eyes, before looking around the quiet loft. 

He’s not anywhere she can see, and Beth starts to panic. Why would he leave her here in his apartment? Why wouldn’t he have woken her up? Did something happen with Marcus? She knows he’s at his mom’s for the weekend... 

Beth looks back over at the bedside table-- how early was it again...? 

That’s when she notices the small disposable coffee cup and bag sitting on the other side of the clock. 

Beth freezes as she takes them in, the logo from Rio’s café branded across both. 

She finally shifts on the bed, reaching out for the coffee. There’s a slip of paper underneath, a receipt it looks like, but there’s something written on the back. In Rio’s messy scrawl. 

' **Stay**.’ 

Beth bites at her lip, a small smile starting to form as she looks down at that one simple word. 

So, he’d had to go into work maybe? And he hadn’t wanted to wake her. 

And...and he was asking her to stay... 

Beth can’t help but let her smile finally go, a feeling of pure giddiness forming in her chest. 

She puts down the receipt and picks up the coffee, taking a tentative little sip. It’s not hot anymore, but still fairly warm. She wonders how long ago he’d left. How long he’ll be gone. Beth takes another, longer, drink and then picks up the bag, unfurling the top to peek inside. 

One of the café's yummy blueberry muffins. She’d raved about them the last time her and Marcus had stopped by the café. 

Beth sets the coffee and the bag back down on the table, wrapping the sheet around herself and sliding off the bed. She looks around the floor for her clothing from last night. She finds the shirt and then the sweatpants, both crumpled up on the floor next to the bed and Beth flushes a little as she remembers how impatient Rio had been to pull them off of her. 

Beth quickly pulls them on, heading straight for the bathroom after she’s dressed. When she’s done using the toilet and washing her hands, she makes her way back to the bed, coming to a slow stop at the foot of it. 

The bedding's a mess, clear evidence of what they’d done (twice) last night. And Beth’s mind is suddenly filled with it all—every touch, every kiss. 

And-- 

_Shit_. 

She’d slept with her _boss_. She’s still _married_. And she’d _slept with her boss_. And, god, what about _Marcus_? 

She adores him, and she knows he adores her right back. How will all of this affect him and their relationship? What happens if her and Rio pursue whatever they’d started last night and it doesn’t work out? 

And then the rest of the night comes flooding back with that thought—the dealership, Rio turning up, uncovering all of Dean’s lies, destroying his office, Dean turning up, the ensuing argument. Leaving with Rio. Staying with Rio. 

Beth runs her hands over her face, rubbing fiercely at her eyes again, trying to calm herself down. 

But she can’t. All she can think about is what a terrible in-the-moment decision it was. Neither one of them had been thinking straight, and now... 

And now what?  
What, exactly, happens now? What had crossing that physical barrier meant for the two of them? 

So many things had happened in succession, everything moving at breakneck speed, and now that things have slowed down... 

She’s terrified of what moving forward will look like. 

All of her questions, all of her doubts, from last night are still there, still lingering. Was this a one time thing (or rather, a two time thing, since Rio had initiated round two before they had finally fallen back asleep last night)? 

Did he want something more? Did _she_ want something more? 

Beth lets out a loud groan as she rubs at her temples. She takes a deep breath in, counting to ten before letting it out slowly. She has _got_ to stop thinking so much. She moves over to the bedside table, grabbing the coffee and the bag, taking them over to the kitchen island. She might as well eat before he gets back because who knows what happens from there. 

Beth spots her phone on the island counter top and grabs it, sliding it over in front of her. She forgot she’d turned it off and left it last night. Maybe she should text Rio and ask when he’ll be back? Or would that be too...needy? What were the rules in this kind of situation? 

Beth presses the power button on the side, taking another sip of coffee as she waits for the phone to fully turn on. 

She’s still debating in her head whether or not she should text him when she glances down at the screen and notices all of the missed calls and texts popping up. Her eyebrow furrows as she picks the phone up, ready to swipe through the messages, when it starts buzzing again with an incoming call. 

Ruby. 

Beth’s stomach fills with dread as she just stares at her screen for a minute. She knows nothing good is going to come from this phone call and she really wishes she didn’t have to answer it. 

Beth clicks the green phone icon, swallowing thickly as she puts the phone up to her ear. “Hello?” 

“Oh, thank god, Beth. Where are you? Where have you been?” Ruby’s voice is filled with relief and concern and the dread in Beth is just amplified by it. 

“I’m fine. What’s going on? Is it Annie?” The question catches in her throat—if anything were to happen to Annie... 

“Oh no, Annie’s fine.” Ruby reassures her, but there’s a long pause after, and then, “Have you checked your phone at all?” 

“No, I—I turned it off last night.” She hopes Ruby doesn’t ask why; doesn’t think she can rehash all of the awful revelations from last night right now. 

“B...are you sitting down?” 

“Oh my god, what is going on?” 

“It’s Dean’s dad...” 

And Beth feels that familiar buzzing in her head, Ruby’s voice continuing, but muffled now, like she’s listening to her from far away. 

Dean’s dad is dead. 

Beth grips the phone tightly as Ruby explains. He’d apparently worsened overnight, his compromised immune system giving out in the early hours of the morning. 

Beth hangs up with Ruby, immediately scrolling through her messages, her missed calls, tears springing to her eyes as she finally clicks on Dean’s name and puts the phone back up to her ear. 

It rings for what feels like forever before the voicemail picks up and Beth hangs up, clicking into her messages to send him a text instead. 

_Fuck_. 

She can’t even imagine what him and his mother are going through right now. Beth looks around the loft, trying to retrace her steps from last night. She vaguely remembers shoving her I.D. and credit card in her back pocket before she left for the dealership. Had she taken them out before giving Rio her clothes to dry? 

Beth crosses the space to the bed, looking on top of both bedside tables, and then over to the living room area, looking over the surfaces there. Her eyes finally catch on the entry way table, where she spots her keys and her cards underneath. Beth breathes out a sigh of relief as she grabs them, pulling up the Uber app on her phone and ordering a car. She slips on her shoes, looking around the loft one more time, before walking out the door. 

\----- 

Beth feels like she’s got a weight strapped to her ankle and she’s just been pushed off the deep end. 

She’s struggling to stay near the surface, but every surge upward is countered with a pull back down. 

Beth had arrived at the house to find Dean and his mom in the living room. Dean had been on the phone, excusing himself to continue the conversation in his office while Beth sat with Judith. She’d had a glassy eyed far off look to her at first, probably sedatives given to her by the doctor. 

She’d quickly become razor focused on Beth however, as soon as she’d settled on the couch next to her. Judith’s eyes had narrowed as they’d scanned over Beth’s clothing and Beth had become uncomfortably aware of the fact that she was still in Rio’s clothes. And she wasn’t wearing a bra or underwear. 

Judith had immediately pounced. “He was trying to reach you all night and morning, did you know that?” Judith hadn’t even given her a chance to answer, just barreled straight through, “And then you show up here, looking like _that_.” She’d flicked her wrist out, nearly smacking Beth in the face and Beth had shifted back, breaths coming in shallow and uneven. “He was always there for you when your own parents couldn’t even be bothered with you, and you couldn’t even show him the same kindness when _he needed you the most_.” Judith had hissed out, leaning in close and Beth had pushed herself as far back against the couch arm as she could go. 

Dean had come in then, taking in the two of them with confusion and worry etched across his features. He’d taken Judith upstairs to “rest” soon after. 

Beth had immediately retreated to her room, shedding Rio’s clothes as quickly as she could and jumping in the shower, turning the water on as hot as she could stand, Judith’s words and unspoken accusations burying themselves deep underneath her skin, no amount of scrubbing able to take them away. 

Beth stands in her closet now, blankly staring at her clothes, wondering what she’s supposed to do next. 

Dean had mentioned his dad was in the morgue, and he was being tasked with planning the funeral. 

Her heart is absolutely breaking for him. 

Beth hears her phone vibrating on her bed and she turns slightly, watching the screen light up. 

She watches until the light fades and the screen turns dark again. 

She doesn’t know if she can handle a conversation with Ruby or Annie right now. 

Or... 

Or Rio. 

It’s been a few hours since she left him, long enough for him to come back and notice she was gone, she’s sure. 

She hadn’t even left a note. 

She _had_ left her clothes. 

Beth brings her hands up to cover her face. What was she _doing_? 

She knows she likes Rio. There are definitely some solid feelings there, even without the whole Dean situation from last night. There’d always been a relentless thrum of tension between the two of them, this connection that was constantly being pulled taut by one or the other. Last night, it had finally just snapped. 

But, god, what horrible timing. She can’t focus on him, on _them_ , right now. As much as Dean had betrayed her, as much as the last few days have left a bitterness in her heart, he’s still her husband. They have history, and not all of it had been bad. Some of it had been really good. 

And Judith had been right earlier, even if her wording and inflection had been wrong—Dean _had_ always been there for her, and Annie, when her parents hadn’t been. And he needed her now. 

The next few days, the next few weeks, were going to be rough on him, on his mom, and she needed to be here for them. 

She could figure everything else out after the dust settled. 

Beth reaches out, pulling down a dark floral wrap dress. Dean had mentioned a few family members stopping by over the next several days, so she supposes she has to dress the part of doting hostess. 

She dresses quickly, pulling her hair up in a low bun, a few loose strands falling free to frame her face. 

Beth smooths her hands over her dress, takes a few steady breaths in and out, and heads out to the living room to meet Dean. 

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur. Dean’s on and off the phone, fielding calls or making them, so Beth gets busy in the kitchen, doing what she does best when she’s stressed—baking. 

That’s when Ruby and Annie finally decide since she’s not answering their calls, they’ll just stop by. 

Beth is kind of relieved to see them, roping them into helping her bake and cook, so she doesn’t have to talk. They still try, prodding here and there, especially when her phone goes off again while they are there and they can all clearly see it’s Rio texting her. Beth flips the phone over and walks away, ignoring the looks that the two women exchange. 

She’s going to get back to him, she just can’t do it now. She needs to wait until she’s alone, until she’s in the right headspace. 

But it’s not until much later that evening, after a few family members have shown up and Beth has sent Ruby and Annie off to help with hosting duties, that Beth gets a minute to herself. 

She’s just swiping her phone open as she enters her bedroom, when the en suite bathroom door opens and Judith comes stumbling out. Beth stops short, phone in hand, and Judith does the same when she looks up and finally notices Beth. 

There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence, and Beth’s hand with the phone in it lowers slowly as she shifts on her feet. She finally clears her throat, her free hand coming up to nervously tuck one of the loose tendrils at her face behind her ear. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were in here. I’ll give you some privacy.” Beth turns back, ready to leave, but Judith’s voice stops her. 

“I used to be just like you, you know.” Her words are slurred, and Beth thinks about just ignoring her and walking out the door, because she knows nothing good will come of this conversation. But years of conditioning stop her, make her turn back around to face her mother-in-law, polite smile sliding solidly into place. 

Judith nods her head in apparent approval at Beth staying, as she leans heavily against the dresser. “I came from a trash family too. Except I didn’t even have a sister to lean on. But then John came along and saved me. He gave me a house, financial security, a child. So, what if he had a few affairs along the way?” Beth sucks in a sharp breath, opening her mouth to stop Judith’s little speech, but Judith steps closer, unsteady on her feet, holding her hand up to silence Beth. “It was a small price to pay for everything he offered. And he was a good father. And Dean is a good provider just like his father, and he will be a good dad, just like him too. I thought you were strong enough to handle that, like me. But you’re not.” 

“Judith--” Beth’s eyebrows cinch together, mouth twisting up, throat suddenly feeling like it’s in a vice grip. 

“Honestly, what did you expect, if you can’t even bother to be a good wife? _Of course_ , he was going to find comfort elsewhere. All he wanted was kids, a family, and you made him think he could have that with you. But you couldn’t even give him that, after all he’s given to _you_. You couldn’t even give his father grandchildren before _he died_. After all John did for you when your own parents didn’t even want you.” Judith berates her, her words reaching out and clawing their way into Beth’s chest, stabbing at her heart, drawing blood. 

Beth’s hand clutches at her stomach as tears spring to her eyes. Her mouth opens but nothing comes out except a shaky exhale of breath. She knows Judith is hopped up on tranquilizers and booze and she probably won’t remember what she’s saying, probably doesn’t mean the words she’s so cruelly wielded like a weapon. But it doesn’t make them hurt any less. 

Judith nods again, this time more to herself it seems, her eyes glossing over, like her mind is already somewhere else. Beth wordlessly turns on her heel and walks out of the room, hands wiping at her eyes as she makes a beeline straight for the kitchen, eyes glued to the ground to avoid eye contact with anyone. She hears a few different voices call her name, concerned, but she ignores them. Beth heads straight for the cabinet that has her bourbon in it, switching her phone out for the bottle and a glass tumbler off the shelf. 

She doesn’t go back through her bedroom, even though she sees Judith stumbling back into the living room, instead she cuts through the side door and out onto the porch, not stopping until she gets to the picnic table. 

Beth sets the bottle and the glass down, bending over slightly, hands on knees as she takes several deep breaths in and out, trying to get control back over her nerves. 

“Beth?” Annie’s voice calls out from behind her, back by the house, and Beth jerks back up, her hands curling into fists at her side. 

“I’m fine, Annie. I just need a minute to myself, okay?” 

There’s a pause where it seems like she might argue, and Beth squeezes her eyes shut, whispering, “Please” over and over under her breath until she finally hears the door close again and then everything is blissfully quiet. 

Beth opens her eyes slowly, blinking back the fresh tears that are forming, wiping furiously at her face as she reaches for the bourbon, filling the glass to the very top. 

She slides around the table, hopping up on the top to face the yard, carefully tucking her dress underneath her. She brings the glass up to her lips and drinks deeply. 

She’s on her second glass a bit later, feeling a little calmer, when a movement across the yard catches her eye and she turns her head slightly, her breath catching in her throat as Rio comes into view. 

He’s dressed in his usual dark clothing and hoodie, his hands shoved in his pockets as he slowly makes his way over to her. 

He comes to a slow stop in front of her, eyes scanning over her, taking note of the bourbon and the glass in her hand. And he looks so good, she just wants to reach out and touch him. Grab him and pull him close, collapse against him and let him take all this pain away. 

Beth snaps out of it quickly though, when they both hear loud voices coming from the house. She shifts on the table, quickly glancing back at the house to make sure no one has come out or seen them. 

“What are you doing here?” She asks quietly, as she turns back around. 

“Came to check up on you. Tried callin’.” He answers easily, but she can tell by the look in his eyes he’s less than pleased with her ignoring his attempts to reach out. 

“You can’t be here.” Beth says, and she winces at how harsh it sounds coming out of her mouth and then instantly regrets saying it completely as she watches Rio’s jaw clench, shoulders rolling back as his whole stance turns hostile. 

“Oh yeah? You didn’t tell that dumbass husband o’ yours about us then?” His tone is snarky, crude-- he wants to hurt her like she’s hurt him. 

Beth inhales sharply, setting her glass down as she quickly turns back to the house once more, paranoia making her think everyone in the house must be able to hear every word they’re saying out here. 

“Dean has nothing to do with this.” She hisses as she once more turns back to him, “His father _died_ today, so he’s a little preoccupied with _that_ right now.” 

Rio immediately softens and Beth finds herself doing the same, her body desperate to mirror his. 

“I’m sorry.” He says, reaching out and squeezing her arm and Beth closes her eyes at his touch, aching to touch him back. 

But she can’t. Not here. Not like this. 

Beth gently moves her arm away and Rio lets his hand drop, expression darkening again, hand twitching at his side. 

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here right now. I have a lot of things I need to take care of here.” She tries to make her voice soft, gentle, but she knows it’s not coming across any easier by the way he steps back, shoving his hands back in his pockets, closing himself off. She takes a deep breath in, swallowing down the thick swell of emotion trying to overtake her as she forces her next words out. “I can send you a list of replacements for Marcus--” 

Rio’s head snaps up, face twisting up as he shakes his head. “That aint necessary. You can take all the time you need, whenever you’re ready to come back--” 

“I’m not going to come back, Rio.” The statement comes out choked, mangled, like it’s coming from an entirely different person and god, it _hurts_ , the look on his face as he processes it. “This thing between us,” She gestures out at the vast space between them now, “it’s too much. I can’t mix personal and professional. I think it’d be better for Marcus, less confusing, if you found someone new.” 

“Now you an expert on what’s best for Marcus?” He snaps, hands shoving down further into his hoodie pockets and Beth shakes her head quickly. 

“Of course not, you would know what’s best for him. I just—I need some time to think, to work things out--” 

“What, with _him_?” 

And Beth pauses, lips pressing tightly together, because of course that’s not what she meant at all. 

“You so twisted up because that dumbass husband o’ yours been fuckin’ that blonde receptionist, you really can’t see past that shit. Was fuckin’ me last night evenin’ the playin’ field for you?” 

Beth’s mouth drops open as she shakes her head again, this time in shock as tears well up in her eyes, and fuck, if she isn’t getting tired of crying tonight. 

“Last night had _nothing_ to do with Dean _or_ Amber--” Beth starts, hands gripping the edge of the picnic table as she leans forward, but then she stops, slumping back as her eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Wait, how do you even _know_ about Amber?” 

She clocks the shift in him instantly and Beth’s eyes narrow as her brain kicks into overdrive, trying to fit all these new pieces together. 

She remembers their very first conversation, about how his family was the toughest to be vetted for. “The agency runs background checks, but that wasn’t enough for you was it?” She says slowly, remembering the night at his apartment too, about thoroughly vetting his employees. 

Rio tenses, jaw rocking and Beth almost buckles in on herself, her arms coming up to wrap around her midsection as she leans forward again, all the pieces now falling into place. 

“I gotta look into anyone who’s watchin’ my kid.” He says quietly, uneasy. 

Beth shakes her head furiously at his confirmation. Is all of this really happening right now? Because it feels like a nightmare. “What does the state of my marriage have to do with watching your kid?” Beth can barely get the words out; her chest feels like a huge weight has been placed on it. She feels like she’s suffocating. 

“Look, I get the info that’s out there, I don’t control it.” 

“You control what you _do with it_.” She snaps, anger waging war against the pain in her chest. “’There was just something about me’ huh?” She throws his words back in his face and he flinches. 

“Yeah, _and I meant that_ \--” 

“Is this what you do?” She interrupts, not even listening, “Is this how you pick up sad betrayed housewives? That’s what does it for you?” Beth’s arms tighten around her midsection as she gasps in her breaths, desperate for air, but there just _isn't enough_. 

“Elizabeth--” Rio takes a step toward her, concern, _worry_ , evident on his face and it infuriates her even more. Beth pushes herself off the picnic table, rounding it quickly, putting it between her and Rio. 

“Did you know about Dean’s bad investments?” And god, she instantly wishes she hadn’t asked, doesn’t want to know the answer. And the way his steps falter is all the answer she needs anyway and she can’t stop the tears from flowing, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, to stop the ugly sobs working their way up from escaping. 

“I tried tellin’ you— _I was goin’ to tell you_ \--” 

“Then you should have!” Beth is shaking, every emotion waging war inside of her now, her body unable to contain it all. 

“Leave.” She says quietly, swiping at the tears still tracking down her face and Rio opens his mouth to protest, but Beth shakes her head, her hands curling into fists at her chest, her body rigid, as she repeats “ _Leave_!” more forcefully. 

And that seems to do it for him, finally nodding his head in resignation as he wordlessly turns around and walks back out the way he came. 

Beth collapses onto the picnic table bench, her whole body shaking. _God_ , how had this happened? How had last night turned into _this_? She feels like she’s been hit by a truck. She wishes she could turn back time and... 

And what? Never have met Rio? No, just the thought of never knowing him, never knowing Marcus, hurts more than any of the other betrayals that have surfaced over the last 24 hours. 

No, she wishes he would have been honest with her from the start. Wishes that having this hanging over their heads didn’t taint what they’d shared last night. 

She just feels so _drained_. 

Beth gives herself several minutes to calm down, to pull herself together, before she grabs the bottle of bourbon and her glass, taking both back inside her bedroom. 

She startles as she notices Dean sitting slumped down on the edge of the bed in relative darkness, just the dim bedside lamp on. “God, you scared me.” Beth breathes out, eyes sliding over to the french doors. Had he heard them out there? Did he know? 

“Sorry.” Dean mumbles, eyes fixed on the floor and right—he probably wouldn’t have heard them if they’d been shouting at the top of their lungs. Beth sets the glass down on the dresser, twisting open the bottle and pouring a good amount in and then swapping the bottle out for the glass, taking it over to Dean and sitting down on the bed next to him. 

Even though it is so, _so_ painful, she shoves down any lingering thoughts of Rio, shoves down any lingering emotion, as she hands the glass over to Dean. 

He takes it silently, taking a long drink, before handing it back, and Beth does the same. 

“How is everything out there?” Beth asks, eyes going to the closed bedroom door, feeling bad that she’d skipped out on him, left him to navigate it by himself. 

“Fine. Most everybody is gone.” His voice is so small, Beth reaches out and places a hand at his knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. And that’s when he turns to her and she realizes he’s been crying too, and his mouth wobbles a bit as he says, “Bethie, I am so sorry I'm such a screw up. I’ve been a shit husband. You deserve better. You’ve always deserved better.” 

Beth shakes her head for what feels like the millionth time tonight. He’s not wrong, but this isn’t really the time to get into it. “It’s okay, Dean, we don’t need to do this tonight--” 

And then Beth jerks back in surprise as he suddenly leans forward and kisses her. Beth’s free hand comes up to push at his chest. “Dean--” She starts to protest again, but he’s still leaning forward, burying his face in her neck, saying "I just want to stay here with you. Just for tonight." as he starts crying and Beth doesn’t even know what to do. She’s never seen him like this before. 

“Please, Bethie? I’ve missed you so much. I need you.” Dean starts nuzzling her neck, his tears wetting her dress, making it stick to her skin. Beth closes her eyes tight, every confrontation from this whole night pressing in on her, pushing her down into darkness. 

Their marriage had been doomed from the start-- they’d both so desperately wanted something the other could never give them and it may be over between the two of them, but she could at least give him this one last comfort, right? 

So, Beth doesn’t protest this time when he presses his lips to her face, clumsily kissing her. She doesn’t protest when his hands grab at her hips, pulling her into a tight embrace, ignoring how wrong they feel compared to how right Rio’s had. 

She quietly recites the alphabet backwards in her head, trying to push every single thought of Rio back down as they try to push their way to the surface. 

She can do this. 

_She can give him this_. 

Right?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know there were a lot of strong feelings about the last chapter, I hope this one settles any lingering doubts about where our two favorite disasters are headed.  
> There's one more chapter left!  
> Don't worry, there's lots of fluffy Brio goodness coming up!

Beth stares up at her bedroom ceiling, the dark and quiet of the room wrapping around her like a too heavy blanket, making her feel hot, stuffy, like she can’t move. Like she can’t breathe. 

She slowly turns her head to look at the bedside table clock. 2 A.M. 

She glances over to the other side of the bed, where Dean is steadily snoring. 

Beth knows she’ll never be able to fall asleep next to him, feels every nerve in her body trying to pull her from this bed and out of this room. She listens quietly to his breathing, watches him as closely as she can in the dark, making sure he’s deep asleep before she carefully slides out of the bed. 

She moves as quietly as possible toward the closed bedroom door, slowly turning the knob and just as slowly pulling the door open, wide enough for her to slip out, then quickly closing it behind her. 

Beth breathes a little sigh of relief, briefly leaning back against the door before straightening up, and shuffling over to the kitchen, rubbing at her eyes as she glances around the empty house. 

She knows Judith is passed out somewhere upstairs, and she wants to avoid her at all costs. 

Beth opens up the cupboards, searching for her bourbon, and instead finding her phone. And then she remembers—the bottle is in the bedroom. With Dean. 

Well, shit. 

Beth moves over to the fridge instead, pulling out the opened bottle of wine in there and grabbing a wine glass on her way out to the living room. She sets everything down on the coffee table and pulls the cotton throw from the couch arm and wraps it around her shoulders. 

She leans forward, grabbing the wine bottle and pouring a good amount into the glass. She sets the bottle down and grabs the glass and her phone before settling back against the couch cushions. 

She sips on the wine as she swipes her phone on, scrolling through her messages. A few new ones from Annie and Ruby. 

None from Rio. 

And really, it’s not like she’s _expecting_ anything, she _had_ forced him to leave earlier after all, and it wasn’t on good terms. 

But god, now she wishes he had stayed. Wishes, maybe, that he’d taken her with him. 

Beth glances around the dark and silent house--and suddenly it feels like a tomb. 

A place to keep her locked up and preserved in perfect Stepford Wife mode. 

Judith upstairs, frozen in a vicious cycle of repression and resentment. 

Dean downstairs, doomed to follow in his father's footsteps, preprogrammed to fulfill his legacy. 

And Beth—desperate to break free from this white picket fence of hell. 

The tears are streaking down her face before she even realizes she’s crying and she sniffs as she swipes them away, taking another drink of wine. 

She wonders if she’d never met Rio, if she’d still be trapped in her own self sabotage, desperately clinging to what she’d been conditioned to believe would make her happy. 

His deception had hurt, especially coming on the heels of Dean’s. But whereas with Dean, whom she has no desire to hear excuses from or offer true forgiveness, she _wants_ those things from Rio. She _wants_ his explanation. She _wants_ to be able to forgive. 

Beth hadn’t realized how deep her feelings for Rio had settled themselves within her until Dean had kissed her after Rio had left. When he’d pressed himself against her, started pawing at her. She’d cringed at the thought of Dean’s touches replacing every one of Rio’s and she’d pushed him away, telling him to stop. 

His kiss replacing Rio’s as the last on her lips already felt like the ultimate betrayal. 

Beth lightly brushes her fingertips across her lips now, thinking back to her night with Rio in his loft. To that brief moment before she’d fallen asleep, when she’d felt safer, more secure, than she ever had in her life. 

Something inside of her has cracked open and Rio has readily invaded the space, those large steady hands of his reaching in, his long nimble fingers prodding at the delicate edges, forcing her to acknowledge something she’s been desperately trying to avoid. 

Beth finishes off the wine and picks up her phone again, looking for messages she knows aren’t there. 

Well, time and space are the smart way to go right now, she knows. 

Beth still needs to sort things out with Dean after all. She wants a completely clean slate, a fresh start, before she can even think about anything else. 

Beth gathers up the wine bottle and glass, taking both back in the kitchen, rinsing the glass out and placing it in the dishwasher and putting the bottle of wine back in the fridge. 

She curls back up on the couch when she’s done, setting her alarm for early enough that she can sneak back into her bedroom before Judith or Dean even notice. 

\---- 

The week following John’s death is probably the most emotionally draining of Beth’s adult life. 

Things happen in quick succession, from deciding on and then contacting a funeral home, to arranging for the transport of the body and then picking out a coffin, to planning the service and wake. 

Judith becomes increasingly despondent, leaning heavily on Dean for support in all things, who in turn relies on Beth. 

She almost feels bad at the massive relief that comes after the funeral is done and over with. 

Dean decides to stay with his mom for a few days to wrap up insurance payouts and hospital bills and all of the other (surprising amount of) “paperwork” that comes with one’s death. 

It gives Beth some much needed space to just... _breathe_. 

Ruby and Annie check in often, stopping by when they can, making sure she’s okay. 

With Dean and his mom gone and the funeral over, Beth finally has some time to sort through the mess that her life has slowly spiraled into. 

She knows she’s emotionally capable of supporting Dean in his grieving process for _maybe_ another week, max, before she’ll need to call it quits for her own sanity and happiness. 

It makes her cringe to think of what Judith will have to say, and that really just drives home the point of her needing to get away from this family. 

Beth dreads sitting down and talking with him about it. She’s so unsure of how he’s going to take it, what he’s going to say or do. If he’ll let her go. If he’ll guilt her in to staying. If it’ll work. 

So, Beth decides she needs to see Rio. 

Their last conversation has been weighing on her, eating at her. 

Now that she’s had time to think things over, Beth knows Rio hadn’t been purposely trying to hurt her. He looked into all of his employees after all, it wasn’t just her, and he’d done it before they’d really gotten to know each other. It doesn’t excuse him keeping it from her after the fact, but it makes things hurt less. Regardless, she still has things she needs to say. 

He hasn’t reached out, and neither has she, and she knows if she talks to Dean before she talks to Rio, the little sliver of doubt she has embedded deep within will splinter out and show, and Dean will grasp on and _hold_. 

Beth doesn’t think she can stomach just calling or texting Rio, giving either one of them the chance to back out of this, so she decides her best course of action is to just...show up. 

Just go for it. 

She still has his keycard and key _and_ his clothes. All perfect things to use an excuse to drop by and return. 

Plus, _her_ clothes are still there. 

Beth knows this is a weekend Marcus is with his mom, so this will be as good of a time as any to do it. 

Rip the band aid off. 

Quick and painless. 

Beth packs everything up in her bag, ignoring the knots twisting up in her stomach, the ache building up in her chest, and she heads to Rio’s loft. 

Once she gets there, it’s like gravity is weighing her down every step of the way, her body rejecting the idea her mind has already resigned itself to. She has to force herself out of her car and to the door. She briefly thinks about using the keycard to get in instead of just buzzing, but she doesn’t want to force herself into his space like that. She wants him to decide to let her in. 

And the waiting game after she pushes the buzzer is _excruciating_. 

And the longer it stretches out, the more that sliver of self doubt grows. 

Is he even home? If he is, is he ignoring her? How long does she stand out here and wait? Does she buzz again or leave? 

Oh god, what if he has someone in his apartment with him? 

That sudden intrusive thought is enough on its own to make her turn around. But just as she’s about to leave, the door buzzes open. 

Beth’s frozen for a second, before her body finally catches up with her mind, and propels itself forward and through the door. 

She pauses in the stairway, trying to steady her beating heart and breathing before she reaches his floor, steeling her nerves to face him, hands clutching at her bag so hard her knuckles are stark white. 

This shouldn’t be this hard. 

Why was this so hard? 

But she knows why. 

And it makes her want to turn around—run away from this as fast as she can, because it’ll hurt _so_ much once it’s gone. 

Beth forces her body to keep moving, her hand to come up and knock on his door, her feet to stay firmly where they are while she waits. Again. 

This time, at least, he doesn’t torture her with waiting for too long. 

Rio opens the door a few seconds after Beth knocks, and she’s left a little breathless by how good he looks. 

Her mind is immediately flooded with memories of their night together, and it takes everything in her not to reach out, to wrap her arms around him, to lean into him—to let him take on all of the emotional baggage that’s been weighing her down. 

Beth suddenly realizes they’ve just been staring silently at each other for an increasingly awkward amount of time. Rio’s making no move to open the door wider though, no move to step aside and let her in and-- 

That’s fair, she thinks. 

Beth adjusts the strap of her bag on her shoulder nervously. “Hi.” She says softly, uncertain now in her decision to just show up. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea after all. 

“Hey.” His voice is low and gruff, it reminds her of the night he came home from the bar after that fight. 

“Do you think we could—do you have a minute? To talk?” The words feel heavy on her tongue, like something you would say before a goodbye. Like an ending, instead of a beginning. 

She can see him mull it over in his head for a moment before he finally concedes, moving aside to let her in. 

Beth gives a tiny smile, stepping past him, waiting in the entryway as he closes the door. He leads her into the kitchen, gesturing toward the bottles on the counter and Beth gives a small nod. This seems like a routine for them now. Sitting next to each other, nursing their respective drinks. 

He pours her a drink and then himself one, bringing both over to the island where she’s settled. 

“Thank you.” 

Rio gives a sharp nod, staying on the other side of the island. Beth can tell how tense he is and she suddenly realizes how much she _hates_ it. 

She hates how quickly the dynamic between them has changed. 

Beth takes a quick drink before clearing her throat, reaching into her bag to pull out his clothes and the keys. “I wanted to return these...” She trails off, feeling awkward with how he’s just quietly watching her. She slides the pile of stuff closer to him on the counter. 

“Got your stuff too.” He points over to one of the chairs in the living room, where her clothes are folded in a neat little pile. 

Beth breathes a little sigh of relief at him finally breaking his silence. 

And this keeps sliding into “break up” territory, now with the exchange of each other's property. 

Is it breaking up if they were never really together? 

Beth wonders if he’s feeling the same way, but his face is an impassive mask, giving nothing away. 

“How’s Marcus?” 

The words are out before she can stop them, and her heart aches saying his name out loud. Rio’s jaw clenches and Beth thinks maybe she overstepped some new unspoken boundary without knowing. 

Rio raises his glass, taking a long drink before setting it back down, and he seems to be mulling over how to answer her question, before-- “He’s good. My sister’s been watchin’ ‘im,” He doesn’t look at her, still staring down at his glass as he adds, “He misses you.” 

Beth’s hands tighten around her own glass as she watches him, the ache in her chest becoming more prominent. She knows he’s offering her an opening, an olive branch, with that last bit of information. 

She takes a deep breath in, letting it out with her next words. “I miss him too.” 

He finally looks up at her then, holding her gaze, and Beth feels like maybe they’ve just taken the tiniest step in a new direction. 

She thinks she’ll have to start off, but he surprises her by going first. “I gotta be cautious about who I bring into my home and around my kid. I need to protect my family. Always.” Rio explains, body still tense, face still impassive. 

Beth nods, taking another deep breath in, licking her lips as she prepares herself for how she’s going to respond. “And I understand that completely, really, I do.” Beth pauses, trying to untangle her thoughts enough to articulate them. “And I think I can even understand you not wanting to insert yourself into my personal life by letting me know what you found before--” Beth cuts herself off then, her voice faltering and Rio shifts uncomfortably, shoulders rolling back. “--Before we really knew each other. _But_ , there was a line we crossed, and that was something you should have told me before that ever happened.” 

Rio’s quiet for a moment and Beth wishes he wasn’t so good at holding his cards so close to his chest, at masking his feelings so well. 

“I was goin’ to tell you,” He’s speaking slowly, choosing his words carefully, “Before,” He gestures out between them, exactly like she had that night at the picnic table, “Shit was movin’ too fast an you didn’t wanna hear it that night. Seemed like maybe you didn’t wanna hear it any night. When I stopped by, you was still playin’ house with ‘im.” 

Beth remembers him working himself up to tell her something the night she’d stayed—and her shutting him down. Shutting him down again when he showed up in her backyard. 

“Dean and I have a...complicated history. We’ve been together for so long, it’s hard to remember _not_ having him around. He’s been there for me through some really terrible times in my life, and you don’t just—I _can't_ just walk away from something like that overnight.” 

And she doesn’t know why she’s defending her relationship with Dean to Rio, but he looks less than pleased at her response. 

“Oh, but it aint just overnight sweetheart. You tellin’ me you weren’t done with his bullshit back at that birthday party?” 

Beth grips her glass a little tighter as she thinks about Sara's party. Finding out about Amber and Dean the day before. “A lot of things have happened since then.” She says faintly before taking another much needed drink. 

“Bullshit.” He says again and Beth’s head jerks up to glare at him. “He don’t automatically get a free pass cause o’ what happened with his dad. But you handed that shit over on a silver platter.” 

Beth just gapes at him for a second, before her eyebrows snap together, features twisting up in annoyance. “You have _no idea_ what you’re talking about. If you’ve never been in a marriage you don’t have the right to criticize how other people navigate theirs.” 

“Nah, Rhea and I just knew when to call it quits before it turned into that toxic shit.” 

Beth slams her glass down on the countertop and leans forward. “You really think you can sit here and judge my marriage because of something shown to you by someone looking in from the outside?” 

“No, I can sit here and judge your marriage from _you_ , darlin’. You aint been happy with that dumbass since the day we met. You try to hide and you a good liar when you needa be, but I can see right through all o’ that.” 

Beth leans back again, biting at her bottom lip, staring at the little bit of amber liquid still left in her glass. She’s annoyed with him for saying it, but that doesn’t mean what he’s saying is wrong. 

He’s actually very much right. 

He just doesn’t _get it_. 

“Things may not have always been great between Dean and I, but him and his family were there for Annie and I when we needed them the most. For that, I will always be grateful. But I'm _not_ giving him a free pass.” 

“Elizabeth--” 

“No, just _listen_.” She can tell she’s pissing him off now, but she doesn’t care. She has to get this out. 

Beth grabs the glass in front of her, downing the rest of her drink and then setting it back down, hands pressing into the countertop. The silence stretches out between them and Beth tries to sort out and catalogue her emotions, all the things she wants to say but doesn’t know _how_. She doesn’t know how to make him understand the things she’s never even been able to tell Dean, things that Annie doesn’t even know--too young to understand or remember. 

Beth takes in a deep shaky breath, letting it out slowly, hands sliding off the countertop to come to rest in her lap. She keeps her eyes downcast as she starts to talk. “My mom...she wasn’t a great mom.” And _god_ , just those few words taste like acid on her tongue, burn all the way down her throat, make her chest seize up. She clears her throat, shifting uncomfortably, the intense need to stop, to run away, overwhelming. Beth steals a glance up at Rio, sees him watching her intensely, his focus solely on her, his body completely still, like he knows any movement could make her turn back in on herself, close herself off to him again. 

Beth takes a few shallow breaths before continuing, wonders if he can hear how hard her heart is pounding, the sound roaring in her ears. “She never really wanted kids but my dad did, so she ended up having two. And she became really resentful of that role she’d been forced into.” Beth clenches her jaw, rocking it a little as the lump in her throat starts to grow. She watches her fingers twist around each other in her lap.  
“It didn’t get any better as we got older. My dad tried for awhile, to placate her, to help Annie and I navigate the land mines she dropped on a daily basis. But it wasn’t enough.” Her breath catches in her throat and she can see Rio’s hands twitch, can tell he wants to reach out and touch her. It gives her the strength to keep going.  
“It was too late; things were too broken...and when he realized that...He realized we were damaged goods too. So, he left. Started over, started a new family, the one he actually wanted to begin with. And my mom...” Beth pauses again, the weight of her words pressing in on her chest, making it difficult to breath.  
“When you asked me about something that was just _me_ that first day...” Beth glances back up at him again, holding his gaze this time, “My dad’s the one that pushed me toward piano. One day I came home and there was a baby upright in the middle of the living room, waiting for me to start taking lessons. I fell in love with it and I played for _years_. And it was the first thing she sold when he left.” 

Rio finally moves then, turns to grab the bottle of bourbon, bringing it over to refill her glass. Beth shoots him a tight smile of thanks, bringing the glass up to her lips to take a small sip. It’s enough to calm her nerves a bit. 

“She never recovered and I ended up having to take care of Annie and everything else from then on out. Until I met Dean.” Beth watches as Rio stiffens again at the mention of him. “He was everything I needed to keep Annie safe and secure. I rushed into things with him because I was so desperate for someone to—to actually take care of us. To take care of _me_. And I knew _I_ was... _safe_ with him because I didn’t feel—it wasn’t like how my mom was with my dad. And I thought, we weren’t them, we wouldn’t ever be them. And then we got married so quickly and things just...” Beth trails off as she shrugs, taking another sip of her drink, “He wanted me to stay at home and have kids and I...I wanted kids, I've always wanted kids, but I think I knew even then that I didn’t want them with _Dean_. I didn’t want to turn into my mom—bringing kids into an environment like that? I was so scared I would grow resentful of them too.” God, she thinks, all this time she was doing everything in her power to avoid repeating this self destructive pattern and she’d wound up trapping herself into becoming this twisted version of her mom and Dean’s mom. 

“Dean and I are done. There’s nothing left there for either of us.” She watches as a series of emotions flash across his face before he settles himself back behind that impenetrable mask. Good, she doesn’t think she can handle seeing how he feels about her next choice of words anyway. “I don’t feel for Dean, the way I feel...the way I feel for you. I never have. And it is _terrifying_.” 

She settles back in her seat, letting the words settle heavily between them. “I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never done _this_. I’ve lost a lot of myself with Dean, little bits and pieces that didn’t fit into who he needed me to be.” Beth thinks back to her confrontation with Dean's mom in her room, the parts of herself Judith had traded in order to secure the life she wanted with John. “It was a small price to pay for what he offered.” She echoes the older woman's words sadly, Beth’s heart aching for the woman Judith had become, the loss she must be feeling, not only for her husband, but the pieces of herself that he’d carved away from her and carried to his grave. 

Beth exhales slowly, the weight at her chest being lifted little by little with it. 

“I aint him, Elizabeth. What we got—that aint ever gonna be like what you had with him.” Rio says, leaning down against the counter, hands wrapping around his glass, rolling it between his fingers. 

Beth nods, “I know. It’s still hard—for me. I can’t disentangle myself from him overnight. There’s so much of me that’s connected to him. It’s going to take...time.” 

Rio straightens up, his hands letting go of the glass to grip the edge of the counter in front of him and Beth thinks they both know where this is headed. 

Beth shifts, sliding off the bar stool. She feels a little unsteady on her feet and she’s pretty sure it’s not the alcohol that’s causing it. She reaches over and grabs her bag, slinging it over her shoulder again as she twists at her ring finger. “Can you tell Marcus I said “Hi”? Please?” 

“Course.” He answers roughly, letting go of the counter to step around it and Beth’s heart skips a beat, her breath stuttering out, but he’s moving past her, into the living room, gathering her things up from the chair to give to her. 

“Thank you.” She says quietly, carefully avoiding his touch as she takes them from him. 

Rio leads her out to the door, opening it for her, watching her as she passes through. She turns back for just a second, wanting to say something, _anything_ , but she can’t seem to force any words out, so she turns away just as quickly, leaving him standing in the open doorway. 

\------ 

When Beth pulls up to the house, she spots Dean’s car parked out front. She waits a few minutes after she shuts off the car to gather her thoughts. Then she leans over and pops open the glove compartment, reaching in and digging around until she finds her wedding ring. She slides it into her pocket and then gets out of the car. When she gets in the house, she finds Dean sitting on the stairs, elbows resting on knees, staring off into space. Beth looks around quickly as she makes her way over to him, trying to determine if Judith is here as well. She settles down on the step next to him and he turns to her. “Mom’s not here. I figured we needed to talk.” 

Beth nods her head, running her palms along the seams of her jeans slowly. “So. This is it, huh?” 

Dean lets out a short puff of air, a cross between a defeated sigh and a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I suppose it is." There's a moment of silence where it looks like he's gathering his thoughts before he continues. "Look Bethie, I’m sorry for the way I acted the other night. I’ve been really messed up the last few months and I just really wanted things to go back to the way they were...before. I thought if we could get back there, we could make things work again.” 

“I don’t think anything could ever get us back to that place. And I don’t think--I wouldn’t _want_ to go back there. It would never work.” 

“Yeah, I really messed things up, didn’t I?” 

“Yeah, you did.” 

Dean lets out a long sigh, scrubbing his hand over his face. “I really thought I was making some solid investments. I really thought I was doing what was best for us. For our family.” 

“I know.” Beth doesn’t have to reassure him, knows she really probably _shouldn't_ , but it’s a force of habit, an automatic response to placate him. 

“I just got in too deep borrowing against the dealership. Before I knew it, it was bankrupting us, and I was desperate...leveraging the house. And—and Amber was there.” Beth stiffens a little at the mention of the other woman, but she realizes the anger there is a lot more tempered than before. Just a flash and then it’s gone. Dean continues, “She knew what was going on and she understood and I didn’t think you would. It was almost too easy to just...take that next step with her.” 

And—okay. _That_ causes another flash of anger, one that burns brighter and longer than the last. 

But then...that’s gone too, replaced with something else entirely. 

Immense sadness and pity. 

She feels bad for him in this moment because he’s losing so much more in this than she is. He's losing the house, the chance to hear the tiny pitter patter of little feet running up and down these hallways, probably his dad’s business, and— _her_. 

And Beth--well Beth is just losing him. And really, she’d let him go a long time ago. Granted, it's still painful, because even though she hasn’t been _in_ love with him for awhile, she still loves him. 

Beth reaches inside her pocket, digging her ring out. She rolls it between her fingers, watching as the light catches it, shiny little fragments bouncing off. She remembers the day they’d picked it out. How perfect and solid and _good_ it had felt when Dean had slid it onto her finger. 

Now it feels _wrong_ , years of dissociation and bitterness and broken promises twisting it, sharpening it, making it painful to wear. Beth places it in her palm, holding it out to Dean, who takes it gently. 

“So, how do we do this?” He asks, rolling the ring around in his fingers like she had in hers. 

“We don’t have to do anything right away. We can take some time, sort things out, decide what’s best for each of us before we sign on any dotted lines.” Beth says, wrapping her arms around her legs, turning her head to look at him. 

He’s nodding along to her words, staring off into space again and Beth lets out a little sigh as she faces forward, resting her chin against her arms. 

She can do this. They can take their time, sort things out, avoid repeating the trauma she’d had to endure at the end of her parents marriage. 

She can do this. 

\----- 

“This was an _awful_ idea.” Beth groans, hands rubbing at her eyes before she remembers she actually has some makeup on. “Shit.” She mutters under her breath, grabbing a napkin and blindly wiping around her eyes, hoping she’s making anything she smeared better instead of worse. 

“Give me that.” Annie demands, exasperated eye roll accompanying her words as she snatches the napkin from Beth’s hand. 

Beth glares at her but leans forward, letting Annie fix her makeup. 

It’s the least she can do anyway. It was her fault Beth had this makeup on to begin with. Her fault they were out at this loud, busy bar on a weekend, drinking overpriced cocktails in “celebration” of Beth’s pending divorce. 

Who even does this? 

Certainly not Beth, under normal circumstances, but Annie had insisted. She’d insisted on picking out Beth’s clothes and doing her hair and makeup too. 

Beth had given in, Annie’s blatant giddiness over the demise of Beth’s marriage just this side of ridiculous enough for her to concede. It’s barely been two weeks, and the divorce won’t even be final for another two, but nothing was getting in the way of Annie’s plans. 

They’re out at a new bar, some place one of Annie’s flings had taken her out to. Beth can see the appeal, and maybe if they were here under different circumstances, she’d enjoy it more. As it is, she’d choked down one sugary cocktail before settling on water instead, deciding to wait Annie out. Once she’s good and drunk maybe she can leave her with Ruby and slip out. Annie finishes fixing her makeup and Beth leans back in her seat again, shooting Ruby a look as she takes another sip of water. Ruby gives a silent little nod, always knowing exactly what her best friend needs. 

“So, that guy over at the bar is pretty cute and he keeps looking over here.” Annie points out, cocking her head toward the bar and Beth reluctantly looks over, immediately spotting the guy Annie’s talking about. “Pretty sure he’s looking at you.” Beth counters and Ruby snorts out a laugh. 

“Okay, well, he has friends.” Annie says, turning her head to smile at the guy, who grins back. 

Beth checks out the two guys next to him. And--okay, so they’re all pretty cute, but this is definitely not Beth’s thing. She doesn’t pick guys up in bars and have one night stands. 

The only guy she wants to go home with still hasn’t reached out since their last conversation and she’s kind of losing hope. 

Beth isn’t sure if Rio is waiting for her to make contact first, or if he’s lost interest, but she misses him. Misses Marcus. 

Beth lets out a sigh and she feels Ruby reach over and give her arm a tight squeeze. She’s about to abandon her plan of waiting until Annie is drunk and just beg off now, when she notices the guys at the bar getting up and heading in their direction and Beth groans. 

“Annie, I swear to _god_...” She whispers under her breath and Annie just grins as she watches their approach. 

“Hey.” The first guy greets Annie, sidling up to the table next to her sister, too close really, but Beth bites back her reprimand. “I’m Trevor.” 

“Annie.” Her sister answers chipperly, holding her hand out and Trevor takes it and holds, for much longer than necessary and Beth rolls her eyes. 

Trevor introduces his friends, Matt and Josh, and Annie does the same with Beth and Ruby. 

There’s some awkward, stilted conversation before another round of drinks is ordered, but once the alcohol sets in and loosens everyone up, things start to flow better. 

Beth is still drinking her water, occasionally sipping on the drink Annie had ordered, to appease her sister. 

Josh is talking, _a lot_ , about the IT company the guys work at, and Beth is only half listening, her eyes darting down to her phone to keep checking the clock, wondering what an acceptable amount of time would be before she could excuse herself without seeming rude. She sneaks a glance over at Ruby, who is actually talking pretty animatedly with Matt and Beth glares at the back of her head. Traitor. 

It feels like an unbearable amount of time has passed, but it’s only been an hour. Well, she can at least give herself a distraction. “I’m sorry, Josh,” Beth gently interrupts him, “Will you excuse me? I have to use the restroom.” 

Josh nods vigorously, readily agreeable, like a little puppy. Beth almost wants to tell him to try his luck with someone else, because she is for sure not going home with anyone tonight. 

Instead she smiles politely as she slides off the barstool and slips past him. 

Surprisingly, there’s no line outside the women’s restroom when she approaches, and Beth sends a little thank you out into the universe for small miracles. She uses the toilet and then washes her hands, staring at herself in the mirror for a moment, as she dries her hands with a paper towel. 

She can’t quite figure out if she’s doing this whole post divorce thing properly. Is she supposed to feel happy? Sad? Angry?  
Because she doesn’t. 

She feels...empty. Devoid of any key emotions. 

There is _something_ there, something small and soft, just beneath her rib cage, waiting to be acknowledged when she’s ready. 

She thinks it may be...relief? A sense of impending freedom? 

Whatever it is, Beth pushes it back down temporarily, straightening her dress and running her fingers through her hair a few times before leaving the bathroom. 

She can’t believe she let Annie talk her into wearing this thing, Beth thinks as she makes her way back to their table, tugging on the hem of the dress. It’s way too short. The only reason she’d agreed on it was because it adequately covered everything else. Namely, her breasts. 

Beth glances up toward the bar area as she passes by and her steps falter as she catches sight of a familiar face. 

_Of course_. Out of all the bars in this town, her sister had to bring her to _his_. 

He’s behind the bar, facing away from her, talking with one of the bartenders and Beth comes to a full stop as she takes him in. 

He’s in a white t-shirt that sets off his tattoos perfectly and dark tight fitting jeans and Beth has to resist the strong urge to walk behind the bar and run her nails over the tattoos at the back of his arms. 

He starts to turn and Beth quickly moves away, pushing through the crowd to get back to her table. She prays he hasn’t seen her, hopes to escape this already unbearable night unscathed by him. 

“Hey, I think I’m gonna head out.” Beth says as soon as she gets back to the table, reaching out and grabbing her small clutch. Ruby and Annie both turn to her, surprise, and a little concern, on their faces. 

“What? Why?” Annie immediately fires off the questions, eyes darting over to Trevor. 

“I just—I'm not feeling well.” Beth stutters out. And although it's not entirely untrue, she has been feeling queasy, she instantly regrets the lame excuse, because she knows her sister won’t hesitate to call her out on it. 

But before Annie can even open her mouth, Ruby’s sweeping in to save her. “Oh, I know you were complaining about your stomach earlier, must be really bugging you now huh?” 

“Yeah, I feel much, _much_ worse.” Beth agrees earnestly, nodding her head as Annie glares at them both. 

“Well, that’s okay, B. You do what you need to do.” Ruby’s voice is dripping with faux sympathy and it _almost_ makes Beth crack a smile. 

She pulls out her phone instead, swiping it open. “You guys don’t even need to leave; I was just going to call an Uber and head out.” Beth reassures her sister, hoping to lessen the sting. 

“I mean, this was supposed to be about celebrating you. If you’re going to _leave_ \--” 

“Annie, _please_. Stay. Have fun. Tell me all about it in the morning.” Beth is getting anxious; feels like every second she stands here is an extra second for him to finally notice her. 

If he hasn’t already. 

Annie finally acquiesces, Ruby gently nudging her along, and Beth turns to leave. 

She glances quickly back at the bar as she’s walking out, just to see if he’s still there, and isn’t it just her damn dumb luck that the second she turns her head, her eyes connect with his and she sees the recognition and surprise there before she quickly turns back around and pushes her way out the door. 

Beth steps through the small crowd of people outside, finding a quiet spot off to the side of the building. She’s just pulling the Uber app up when-- 

“Elizabeth.” 

Beth closes her eyes, her heart beat immediately kicking up a notch as a shiver runs down her spine. God, that voice will be the death of her one day. She slowly opens her eyes as she turns, leaning back against the brick wall, shoving her phone inside her clutch for the time being. 

“Hi.” She greets him, more than a little awkwardly. He’s so close, and his proximity has always thrown her off, and she’s not exactly sure what she’s supposed to say to him. 

Rio’s eyes are scanning over every inch of her and Beth’s hand drops down to tug at the hem of her dress once more, silently cursing Annie _again_ for choosing it. 

“I didn’t know this was yours.” Beth says, waving her hand out at the building, desperate to fill the silence and offer up a distraction from his prying eyes. 

Rio hums, eyes tracking back up over her face, and she thinks maybe that’s worse, because now she’s caught up in his dark gaze. How can they still have this heady underlying thrum of tension pulling taut between them when they’ve already had sex? When so much time has passed between them? 

“You look good, mami.” He’s taking a step closer to her and Beth would back up, if she had anywhere to go. She presses herself harder against the wall, feeling the roughness of the brick scrape against her back through her dress. 

“Thank you.” She murmurs, head tilting back to look up at him as he moves even closer. 

“Whatchu doin’ out tonight?” He asks, hand coming up to tug on a strand of hair, fingers winding their way through, and it’s so distracting she almost forgets that he even asked a question, until she realizes he’s looking at her expectantly. 

“I’m uhm...celebrating.” She settles on, nervously, not sure how much she should reveal. 

“Oh yeah?” His slides his fingers further into her hair, settling them along the nape of her neck. 

“Mhm.” Beth’s finding it hard to form coherent sentences with his hand on her, especially when he starts lightly massaging little circular patterns into her skin. “I’m almost...newly single.” 

He pauses in his ministrations for half a second, before recovering. “Almost?” 

“Paperwork is filed.” 

And the words are barely past her lips, when his mouth is on hers. Beth gasps at the suddenness of it and Rio takes advantage, tongue sweeping into her mouth. Beth moans as her arms come up to wrap around his neck, almost dropping her clutch as she surges up, pressing her body into his. 

God, this is stupid, and reckless, and a terrible idea. They should be talking first, but she wants him so much that she hastily pushes all other thoughts aside. 

Rio’s hand slides up to cradle the back of her head, keeping her mouth close, as his body presses down on hers, pushing her back against the wall, and Beth moans again as his thigh slots in-between her legs and she grinds down against it. He pulls away, cussing under his breath as he twists her hair around his hand, pulling her head back, exposing her neck. “ _Rio_.” Beth gasps out as his mouth latches on, kissing and sucking at the soft skin there, and she feels like she’s going to explode with how badly she wants him _right now_. 

The hand not holding her clutch slides down between their bodies and over the front of his jeans and Rio lets out a low groan that has goosebumps erupting across her skin. 

And he’s suddenly pulling away, causing Beth to slump back against the wall, and she pouts up at him. Rio grins down at her before grabbing her wrist and tugging. “C’mon.” He pulls her up off the wall and Beth stumbles after him, trying to keep up with his long legged pace. 

He’s taking her around back of the bar and Beth almost asks him where they’re going, but then she sees it. 

His car. 

Its parked further back, away from anything else and she knows his windows are heavily tinted... 

They stumble into the car, Rio getting in first, tugging Beth in after him and straight into his lap. She tosses her clutch on the floor of the car and he pulls her into another kiss as she grinds herself down onto him. They both groan, so desperate for the others’ touch, that they waste no time. Rio slides his hands up her thighs, pushing her dress up and yanking her panties aside, fingers sliding over her, finding her soaking wet and ready. Beth’s hands go to his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them as her hips rut against his fingers. Rio helps her push them down just enough to free him and Beth reaches out, hanging onto the door and the driver's side headrest, bracing herself as she lifts her hips and Rio lines himself up so she can slowly sink down onto him. Beth’s head falls back and Rio’s hand comes up to wrap gently around her neck. Beth whimpers, her own hand coming up off the seat to slide over his. He gives a light squeeze as he starts to fuck up into her and Beth lets out a low guttural moan. She hears his rough growl a second before he’s dragging her down into another brutal kiss, all tongue and teeth, and then her hands are clinging to his shoulders, her nails digging into flesh through his shirt, and he hisses into her mouth. 

Then his lips are leaving hers, moving along her jawline, behind her ear, nipping at it before trailing kisses down the side of her neck, and _god_ , how does she feel so close already and they’ve barely even started? 

And she realizes it's because he's already so unimaginably, intimately, familiar with all the parts of herself that make her lose control. All the parts she hides from everyone else.  
Because even like this, in the heat of the moment, he takes his time exploring her body. 

His mouth and hands tracing over every line and curve like a map he's taken great care in studying, memorizing. 

He pays attention to what causes every shiver and moan. 

A gentle bite at her clavicle. A slow stroke of his fingers between her thighs. 

Nothing she gives him in these intimate moments will be forgotten, because she is giving him _everything_. 

She’s baring herself – mind, body, and soul – and he is absorbing every detail, greedily taking everything she has to offer, until there is nothing left. 

They’re moving frantically together, against each other, and it’s not long before Beth’s being pushed up and over the edge, crying out as her orgasm hits her hard, tiny jolts of pleasure shooting throughout her entire body. 

Rio’s not long after, pulling her close as he comes, hand winding into her hair to pull her down to him, forehead pressed to hers as they pant against each other's mouths. 

They stay like that for awhile, pressed tightly together, until Rio starts to soften inside of her and Beth lifts herself up and off of him, both of them straightening up their clothing as she moves to the other seat. She reaches down, hand groping around for her clutch, pulling the small packet of tissues out to clean herself up. 

“Don’t.” Rio says, eyes dark as he reaches out and plucks the tissue packet out of her hand and tosses it aside. He wraps his big hand around the back of her delicate neck, pulling her close again. “I want you to feel my cum drippin’ outta you all the way back to my place. And then I’m gonna lick it out o’ you.” 

Beth almost gasps as the obscene visual floods her mind, her face and body flushing red hot, thighs clenching as she feels that wet heat gathering between her legs once more, the feeling of his cum already dripping out of her intensifying her sudden need to have him again. 

She barely nods, her tongue darting out to wet her suddenly very dry lips and Rio shoots her a filthy grin before he turns and opens up the car door, moving from the backseat to the drivers and Beth slumps back in her seat, feeling absolutely intoxicated and giddy on her post orgasm high. She doesn’t think she could make her legs function now even if she wanted to, so she stays where she is and Rio smirks at her through the rearview mirror as he starts the car, like he knows exactly why she’s staying put and Beth rolls her eyes at how cocky he is. 

It’s not until they’re pulling up to his loft, that the doubts and anxiety start to settle in. 

Was this moving too fast? She’s not even fully divorced yet. They still haven’t talked about what they are. Where they’re going with this. 

Beth squirms in her seat a little as he parks the car, fingertips rubbing across the skin where her ring used to sit. 

“Elizabeth.” 

Beth’s head jerks up, bright eyes meeting dark in the rearview mirror. Hers are a sky alight with the perfect storm—a flurry of worry and fear. His are a deep calm sea—steady and unwavering against the force of her. 

“We aint them.” He says, voice quiet and firm, his words washing over, setting a calm to her nerves that she doesn’t think anyone's been able to do for her before. 

Beth bites at her bottom lip as she thinks about her parents. About Dean’s parents. About her and Dean. How each and every relationship she’s ever known has failed both people involved horribly. 

But Beth feels solid, secure, more sure of herself in this moment then she’s ever been in her life. And she can feel that small, soft feeling beneath her rib cage break free, bloom out across her chest, the relief of letting it go almost _painful_. 

Because it’s pure blissful unadulterated _hope_. 

And she thinks Rio can see it, the change in her as she lets herself feel it, because he gets out of the car, opening the back door for her and holding out his hand. 

And Beth... 

She smiles as she takes it, as she lets him help her out, pull her into a kiss, an unspoken promise exchanged as their lips meet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter! Thank you all so much for your comments, kudos, and especially your patience with this fic!  
> I've loved writing it and I've loved reading your responses to it!  
> An infinite amount of thank you's to medievalraven for getting me past the Annie/Ruby/Beth scene and helping with the rest of this chapter. She is an angel and I just think she's (really) neat.  
> Special shout out to @5starWitch_ on Twitter, someone sent me your concerned tweet and you are so sweet! Don't worry, the virus has _not_ gotten me and I _do_ have enough toilet paper. Hope you enjoy!

Beth takes a sip of her water as she watches Rio behind the bar. 

She’s sitting at a table in the back, waiting for him to get off work. 

They’ve developed a mini routine over the last few weeks. Beth stops by the bar when he’s working late or Rio swings by her new place when he’s done. Their schedules have been hectic, not giving them much time to spend together since they started... 

Beth looks down at her glass, runs her finger over the condensation gathering around the sides. What exactly was this thing that they had started? They’re having sex on a regular basis, and as far as Beth knows, they’re exclusive in that. But she wouldn’t exactly say they’re casually dating or in a—relationship. They’ve never actually talked about it though. 

They actually actively  _ don’t _ talk about it. 

Beth hears a loud flirtatious giggle and a cadence of high pitched female voices and she looks up and over at the bar again, already knowing exactly what she’ll see. 

And there it is, the group of women at the end of the bar, the blonde in the middle leaning up onto the bar top, catching Rio’s attention so she can place her drink order. And flirt. 

Beth watches as Rio smirks down at her, listens to whatever she’s slurring up at him with faux earnestness and Beth rolls her eyes. 

She’s used to seeing people flirt with Rio by now, used to seeing him be his usual charming self back, doing nothing to disarm or dissuade them. She thinks he enjoys it, finds it amusing, seeing how far they’ll go. 

It doesn’t bother her—at least, not  _ really. _ He never follows through on his flirtations, always turns down admirers' time and time again, before showing up in her bed at the end of the night. Plus, she’s had her own fair share of unsolicited overly friendly conversation and free drinks while waiting for him to get off work. 

And just as she has that thought, Beth makes accidental eye contact with a guy at the bar, who smiles at her, and she automatically smiles back. She immediately regrets it however, letting out a small sigh, when the guy stands up and starts walking toward her table. 

Beth glances down at her phone, checking the time. Rio  _ should _ be finishing up at the bar, but instead he’s still talking with the boozy blonde and now Beth’s going to be stuck with this guy. 

She’s going to kill him when they get back to his place. 

“Hey.” 

Beth’s head jerks up, a little startled by how deep this guy's voice is. He’s actually pretty cute, she thinks, as her eyes travel over his face. He’s tall and broad and clean cut. Someone she might have actually considered dating...before Rio. 

He’s looking at her expectantly and Beth realizes she hasn’t returned his greeting and she huffs out a small laugh as she shakes her head slightly. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. Hi.” 

“Not a problem, I know it’s a little weird, having some random guy approach you while you’re trying to enjoy your...” He trails off, gesturing toward her cup, looking a little confused at her choice of water. Beth laughs as she rolls the glass between the palms of her hands. 

“I’m not much of a drinker.” She lies, because—why not? 

“Ah, well there goes my line about buying you a drink. I’m Kyle, by the way.” Kyle holds his hand out over the table and Beth’s eyes flick past him, over his shoulder, to see Rio’s dark gaze fixed on her—because of course  _ now _ she miraculously has his attention. Does he have a little radar that goes off whenever a guy comes within a foot of her? 

“Beth.” She responds, an almost imperceptible shrug of her shoulder directed at Rio, before taking Kyle’s hand as she smiles sweetly up at him. She can practically feel Rio’s glare burning a hole through her. 

Good. Serves him right, for making her wait. 

For the blonde. 

“So, Beth, why a bar on a Saturday night if you don’t drink?” Kyle asks, leaning down against the tabletop. There’s a chair next to her, but Beth hasn’t invited him to sit, and she has a feeling he won’t unless she indicates it’s okay. He’s sweet. 

“I’m waiting for a...friend.” She chokes a little on the ‘friend’, has to press her lips together tightly, a giggle desperately trying to escape around the word. 

She has a bad habit of laughing at the most inappropriate of times. 

“Do you mind if I wait with you?” 

She should say no, it’s on the tip of her tongue, ready to put an end to this now, put both of them out of their inevitable misery. But then Beth sneaks a glance back over to the bar and sees Rio’s leaning down against the bar top, his pose mirroring Kyle’s as he talks animatedly with the blonde as her friends look on, enthralled. 

And—okay. 

So that’s how he wants to play this tonight. 

“Not at all.” Beth gestures grandly toward the stool next to her and she  _ swears _ she sees Rio stiffen, even though he’s not even looking their way, and she doesn’t even bother trying to hide her grin. 

“So, Beth, what’s the plan after your friend shows up?” Kyle asks, taking a swig of his beer. 

Hopefully getting out of here and getting him in-between my legs as fast as possible, Beth can’t help but think, stealing another glance over at Rio, and she sees him doing the same. 

Rio cocks an eyebrow at her and Beth lifts her chin stubbornly, turning away from him and back to Kyle, even as a full blown grin spreads across his face. 

He thinks he’s going to win this game. 

_ The hell he is _ . 

And it’s actually pretty amusing, when she lets herself think more in depth about this little game of theirs. 

Beth’s never considered herself a jealous person, per se. 

She’d had the habit of turning a blind eye to a lot of things when it came to her marriage to Dean, most notably the flirting and unnecessary touches placed upon his female coworkers and their female friends. 

Even when she had her suspicions about Amber, even after she found out about the two of them, she doesn’t think it was jealousy that filled her with rage. 

It was the wasted years, the lost potential of what her life could have been, the betrayal after all she’d done and sacrificed for him. 

And she doesn’t think it’s jealousy, exactly, that drives the force behind this little game she’s more than willing to play. 

She’s found herself doing a lot of things with Rio she’s never normally done before. 

It’s...different. Invigorating. Exciting. 

Unlike anything she’s felt or experienced before. 

Beth’s come into her own person, in a way she could never be with Dean. 

Divorcing Dean, moving out of that house and into her own place, moving forward with Rio... 

It feels good. 

The push and pull between her and Rio has infinitely expanded since they both succumbed to whatever this thing is between them. 

Beth’s fallen into it head first so quickly, there’s a part of her that worries about it ending just as quickly. 

Beth shakes herself out of her thoughts, smiling at Kyle as she leans forward a little, Rio still in her peripheral vision. “What brings  _ you _ here tonight, Kyle?” She asks, pointedly ignoring his question. 

Kyle’s eyes drop for the briefest second, leaning forward has given him a nice little view of her cleavage, and Beth resists the urge to roll her eyes and tug at her neckline. 

“Just unwinding after a rough day at work.” 

“Oh? And what is it that you do?” 

“I’m an account manager of a few non profit organizations--” 

Kyle launches into a detailed description of his job and his bad day and Beth finds herself tuning him out, a vague smile playing at her lips as she occasionally nods along to whatever he’s saying. 

And Kyle’s a nice guy, really, he  _ is _ , Beth thinks, but after a half an hour of small talk, she’s over it. That feeling is only aggravated further when Rio decides to send a round of drinks over to their table. 

(“Do you know him?” Kyle asks curiously. 

“He’s...an old friend.” Beth answers quickly, staring daggers into the back of Rio’s head. 

If Kyle connects the dots from this “old friend” to the one she’s waiting for, he doesn’t say anything.) 

Kyle seems surprised, but pleased, and Beth wishes she could throw something at Rio. 

After they finish their drinks, she’s just about to beg off, go home with or without Rio, when Kyle moves to stand, leaning down, closer than necessary, to let Beth know he’s going to get a refill, and “Thank your friend for the drinks.” 

“Do you need anything?” He asks, one hand coming to rest on the small of her back, the other gesturing to her now empty glass, and Beth looks over at the bar, just as the blonde reaches out and playfully shoves at Rio’s arm and Beth has the sudden urge to go over there and slap her hand away. 

But Rio’s not even looking at her anymore, Kyle’s movements having captured his full attention, and Beth’s mouth goes dry at the dark look that crosses over his face as he zeroes in on Kyle’s hand. Beth feels a shiver run down her spine at the barely checked irritation there and she shifts a little in her seat, thighs pressing tightly together and Rio’s eyes shift to her. 

And it feels like time slows down, like everything and everyone else in the bar fades away as Beth lets herself get pulled into Rio’s magnetic force. The light overhead cuts across those sharp cheekbones of his and those heavy lidded eyes feel like they’re searing a brand into her skin. Beth’s tongue darts out over her lower lip and when Rio’s gaze darkens even further as he follows the movement, Beth shifts again, this time sliding off her stool and away from Kyle’s touch. 

“Actually, I have to use the restroom.” She says faintly, her eyes never leaving Rio’s. Beth doesn’t even wait for an answer, just walks away, weaving her way toward the back of the bar, resisting the urge to look back. She can feel his gaze, knows he’s watching even without looking. 

Beth reaches the restrooms, the women’s door already cracked open. She tentatively pushes it the rest of the way open, peeking around and making sure no one’s inside. She carefully closes the door shut behind her and moves toward the sink, hands coming up to rest against the edge, eyes fixed on her reflection in the mirror. 

A rosy pink flush kisses her cheeks, her chest. Her lips red and a little swollen from where she’s been biting at them. Her eyes are bright, glassy, a flicker of excitement there when she hears the click of the bathroom door behind her, her breath quickening when she sees him in the mirror, stepping through the door, quickly making sure no one’s seen them before closing it again. He quietly leans back against it, his head tilting to the side just the slightest bit, those heavy lidded eyes drinking her in once again and Beth thinks her heart may actually beat right out of her chest, the way it’s working into overdrive. 

Rio is perfectly still, waiting for her to make her move. 

And Beth hesitates for a fraction of a second. 

Was she, were  _ they _ , really going to do this? 

She turns around slowly, feeling a little unsteady on her feet as she slowly approaches him, her steps faltering the slightest bit the closer she gets and Rio pushes off the door to meet her the rest of the way. Her hands twitch at her sides, her fingers itching to reach up and  _ touch _ him. 

Instead, her hand reaches around him, her arm brushing against his as her fingers find the lock, turning it. The soft click as it slides into place feels like it reverberates throughout her entire body. 

Rio’s watching her closely, their bodies not quite touching, the heat from him enveloping her, wrapping around her and trying to pull her close. 

Beth turns away, moving back toward the sink, her eyes downcast as she presses against it, leaning forward a bit, the edge digging slightly into her hips. She reaches down, fingers sliding over the soft gauzy material of her dress, gathering the hem up between them and slowly pulling up. 

She hears Rio inhale sharply and bites down on her lip, squirming a little at the aching  _ need _ between her thighs. 

She feels him rather than sees him, when he moves close, pressing his body tightly against hers and the little sigh of relief at the contact turns into a gasp as his large hand grasps roughly at her soft thigh, fingers sinking in and bruising. 

God, she loves the way he touches her. 

Rio buries his face in the crook of her neck and Beth tilts her head to the side to give him better access as her hand comes up to slide over the back of his neck. He bites and nips and sucks at her and Beth’s grip tightens, her body moving restlessly against his, pushing back against him impatiently, and Rio snaps. 

His hand reaches up under her dress and  _ yanks _ at her panties, tearing them down her legs and Beth wiggles out of them, kicking them aside. She braces herself against the sink as he slides his hand up her back, over her shoulder, applying just enough pressure to bend her over the sink. 

Beth lets out a little whimper as his hands reverse direction, one sliding between her legs, as the other undoes his pants. 

Rio leans over her, pressing his chest into her back. “What were you doin’ out there, Elizabeth?” He murmurs into her ear as his fingers slide over her, feather light, and Beth shivers. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her voice is unfamiliar to her own ears, the words coming out thick and low. 

Rio hums, pushing two fingers inside of her and Beth’s grip on the sink tightens. “That guy actually think he got a shot?” 

“Probably about as much as the blonde.” She snaps back, eyes ablaze as they connect with his in the mirror. 

Rio huffs out a laugh as he pulls his fingers out and then the head of his cock is teasing at her entrance and Beth’s head falls forward as she bites at her lip, trying to keep quiet, as he pushes into her. 

“Know you ain’t worried about no blonde.” He husks, pulling out and then pushing back in at an excruciatingly slow pace, and Beth thinks he must be trying to punish her. 

“As worried as you are about the guy at the table.” She manages to grit out, before throwing her hips back, fucking herself onto him, desperate for him to pick up the pace, demanding just that in the next breath. “ _ More _ .” 

“You drive me crazy, Mami.” 

She doesn’t get a chance to respond, isn’t even sure she was going to, because he pulls out suddenly, spinning her around and lifting her up onto the sink before pushing back in roughly, hips snapping against her, and Beth doesn’t even try to quiet the loud moan that falls past her lips. 

This time, he sets a punishing fast pace, and she meets him for every thrust, one hand gripping the counter as the other clings to his shoulder. 

His mouth covers hers when she comes, swallowing her moans, as her nails dig into his shoulder. He follows not long after and they’re both left breathless and sated, wrapped up in each other. 

Afterwards they hurriedly clean up, Beth becoming increasingly embarrassed as they open the door just as someone approaches to use the bathroom. Then Rio insists on dragging her out of the bar, right past Kyle, hand lifted in a mock friendly wave and Beth hopes the look she shoots him conveys all her apologies. 

“You are so rude.” She scolds him as he walks her to her car. 

“Yeah.” He agrees, shrugging his shoulder and Beth reaches out to smack his arm, but he grabs her, pulling her to him, and kissing her until she’s breathless. 

He pulls away and Beth feels a little unsteady on her feet as she looks up at him. “You coming home with me so I can fuck you again tonight?” He purrs into her ear before nipping at it and Beth leans more heavily into him, relishing in the feel of his body pressed to hers. “ _ Yes _ .” She replies, nodding her head vigorously and Rio lets out a chuckle before placing a kiss at her temple, pulling her along the rest of the way to her car. 

\----- 

“So, you two are like, boning on a semi regular basis now, huh?” 

Beth chokes on her drink at Annie’s question, setting her glass down quickly and covering her cough as she glares at her. She glances quickly around the restaurant, but no one seems to be paying any attention to Annie’s antics. Thank god. 

Ruby shoots Annie a disapproving look as she reaches over and lightly pats Beth on the back. “Annie, please, we’re trying to eat. Can we have just one meal where sex  _ isn’t _ brought up?” 

“Sex is a perfectly natural thing to talk about at any time of day.” 

“I didn’t say it wasn’t natural, I just think maybe we could choose a better location to discuss your sister’s sex life.” 

“How about we just  _ not  _ discuss my sex life at all?” Beth suggests, finally recovering from her coughing fit and wiping at her watery eyes. 

“Oh no, you  _ have to _ share the deets on hot daddy friend. He looks like he’s a massive step up from Dean. Real BDE with that one.” 

“Annie, please don’t call him... ‘daddy’, it’s gross.” Beth cringes even saying it, shifting uncomfortably in her seat, but Annie just grins at her from across the table. 

“Oh, you totally call him that while you guys are doing it, don’t you? You dirty little--” 

“Annie, I swear, if you don’t  _ stop _ .” Ruby interrupts, exasperation tinging her words, sweeping out across her face as she rolls her eyes. 

“Oh, like you’re not the least bit curious.” Annie scoffs, taking a sip of her own drink before popping a few french fries into her mouth. 

“I am,” Ruby admits and Beth glares at her for her betrayal, “ _ But _ , I’m also sure whenever Beth is ready to share, she will share.” 

“Yeah, okay. If we waited for Beth to tell us anything, she’d go to her grave with all of her secrets.” 

“Hey!” Beth weakly protests, mildly offended. 

Annie shrugs her shoulders, throwing her hands up. “It’s the harsh truth, baby.” 

And really—Beth has enough self-awareness to know she’s not wrong. 

She knows she has a tendency to hold things in, to try and handle things herself, or avoid them completely. It’s a bit of a defense mechanism, a survival tactic really, from her younger years, that she just hasn’t quite been able to shake. 

Old habits die hard and all that. 

“Okay, but real talk, just how big  _ is _ his di--” 

“Annie!” Beth and Ruby both scold her at the same time. 

“Okay, Okay! How bout I just hold out my hands and you tell me when to stop?  _ Or _ I could name off some fruits and vegetables...” Annie trails off as she raises her eyebrows, searching for Beth’s approval. 

Beth just bursts into a fit of giggles and soon Ruby and, then finally, Annie are joining her. 

When Beth finally composes herself again, she decides to give Annie  _ something _ . “I think we’re exclusive and I think things are getting pretty...serious.” The words had sounded better in her head, but now she can hear the sudden uncertainty with them spoken out loud. 

“You  _ think _ ?” Annie asks, and even Ruby raises her eyebrows, a quizzical look on her face and Beth flushes as she averts her eyes. 

“I mean, we haven’t really...made anything official yet.” Beth mumbles and she knows it sounds lame, but what else can she say? Since that night she’d accidentally ended up at Rio’s bar, there’s been no adjustment period, no time to step back and take a breather, they’ve just fallen into bed again and again and Beth isn’t complaining, but it’d be nice to have some clarity. 

She’s just too afraid to ask for it now. 

She’s let this thing between them go on for so long, and Rio doesn’t seem to be sharing the same doubts or concerns as her, seems pretty content in this pattern they’ve settled themselves into. 

But she’s also come from a five year marriage, an even longer committed relationship, and has he even had any of those things? Maybe with Marcus’ mom? Beth’s met her a handful of times now, and the way they talk and act toward each other, things seem to have ended pretty amicably between the two. But why? How? When? 

These are the things she desperately wants to know, but doesn’t want to push for. 

She can tell Rio has a tendency to hold himself back emotionally, and she can admit she does the same. Again, it’s a hard habit to break. 

“B...” Ruby pauses until Beth finally looks up at her, “Just--be careful. I’d hate to see you leave one bad relationship just to end up in another one exactly like it.” 

Beth can’t help the small frown that forms on her lips as she looks to Ruby, slightly taken aback by her statement. “What? This is nothing like how Dean and I were—” 

“You two never communicated how you should have. So much stuff was left unsaid and it just built up the resentment between you two. It may not be the exact same, but it’s not all that different.” 

And—that’s fair. It hurts, but it’s fair. 

But they  _ were _ different. She’d given up so much of herself  _ for _ Dean, the most valuable parts of herself used as stepping stones for his gain. With Rio, she was giving those parts  _ to _ him. She trusted him implicitly to keep them. 

“It’s just—it’s  _ hard _ . I don’t exactly know how to do this. I feel like I don’t know how to  _ be _ with anyone other than Dean. And Rio is so,  _ so _ different from Dean. In like, every way possible.” Beth tries to explain, her words coming out stilted and uncertain. 

“You don’t have to let yourself struggle to make others more comfortable. You should just sit down and talk with him about it, B. You can’t know what you don’t ask.” Ruby says gently and Beth thinks she must really owe her soul to whoever sent this woman into her life. 

“I mean, if the sex is good, who really cares anyway?” Annie asks, plucking the tiny red straw out of her glass and chewing on the end. 

Beth and Ruby both turn to glare at her and she pulls the straw out of her mouth to stab it in the air at them. “I have a point, don’t discredit the importance of sex in a relationship.” 

“Important, yes. A crutch to be used? No.” Ruby says dryly, shooting Annie a pointed look and Annie winces. “Ouch. Touché.” She sniffs out, taking another sip of her drink before sticking the straw back in her mouth. Ruby rolls her eyes before turning back to Beth. 

“I mean, it  _ is  _ good right?” She can’t seem to help asking and Beth grins as she feels herself flush. 

“It is.  _ Very _ good.” 

Annie lets out an ungodly high pitched shriek that Beth is sure only dogs can hear as Ruby tilts her head back and laughs and Beth feels...god, she feels her love for these two just push itself out of her chest and wrap itself around her so tight, it knocks the breath out of her for a second. 

These moments—she’s missed them the past few months. She’s missed laughing, having fun, being  _ happy _ . 

Beth feels like an enormous weight has been lifted off her shoulders as she watches Annie and Ruby volley quips back and forth, groaning when they finally turn their attention back to her. 

She lets out a tiny giggle as she purposely takes a giant bite of their shared appetizer, gesturing to her full mouth and shrugging her shoulders a little sheepishly in lieu of answering any more of their R-rated questions. 

\---- 

“Whatchu thinkin’ bout, ma?” 

Beth snaps out of her reverie, eyes flicking over to where Rio sits at the dining room table. 

It’s late, later than she’d normally be up, but Rio’s been working on his laptop for the last hour and Beth’s been struggling to stay up with him. 

She’d planned on leaving a while ago, before he’d even mentioned having to finish up a few things for work, but lately she’d found it harder and harder for her to leave him at the end of the day. Even when he was annoying her, purposely pushing her buttons to get a rise out of her, amused half smirk playing at his lips every time it worked, she still found it hard to walk away from him. 

Now she’s curled up on his bed, hands wrapped around a hot mug of coffee, occasionally sipping on it, as she reflected on the last few months between them. 

Ruby’s words had been echoing in her subconscious since their lunch date, and she can’t shake them, has been playing out different scenarios in her head of how approaching Rio with a conversation about ‘them’ would play out. 

Mostly it’s her tripping over her words, embarrassing herself horribly, and Rio trying very hard to control his laughter before he eventually dragged her into a kiss and distracted her with sex _or_ realizing what a mistake it was to get together with her in the first place and dumping her immediately. 

So, pretty realistic outcomes either way, she thinks. 

Beth watches him now, lightly blowing on her coffee before taking a small sip, trying to buy herself some time before answering. 

Obviously, she can’t be honest with him now, right? She doesn’t think she’s ready for either one of those imaginary scenarios to play out just yet. 

“Nothing.” She says as nonchalantly as possible, but when she sees his eyes narrow, she knows he’s not buying it. 

“So, crime ain’t the only thing you’re terrible at, huh?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She sniffs, taking another sip of her coffee, hoping he’ll go back to his work—knowing he won’t. 

“You a bad liar, Elizabeth.” 

“I’m an  _ excellent _ liar.” She bristles, glaring at him as she shifts, twisting to set the coffee mug down on the bedside table. 

“Oh yah?” He hums, pushing back from the table, moving to stand up and Beth sucks in a breath as she follows the fluid line of his body, how graceful he is in everything he does. 

He’s in sweats and a t-shirt and she thinks this is her favorite way to see him. As much as she loves his fitted button ups and jeans, she loves seeing him like this more. He’s more open, relaxed, settled in a way he never is during the day, when he’s presenting himself for other people. 

They have that in common. 

Beth sinks back a little further into the pillows propped up against the headboard behind her, trying not to let him see the effect he’s having on her. 

“Yeah.” She confirms, lifting her chin, folding her hands in her lap, clasping them together tightly to keep them from fidgeting. To keep them from twisting at her ring finger. Her signature tell. 

“Aight. Two truths and a lie.” 

Beth swallows nervously and Rio grins at her, folding his arms across his chest as he leans back against the table. 

“Don’t you have work to do?” Beth asks, gesturing to his laptop. 

“Nah, I’d rather play with you.” 

The way he says the word play has Beth flushing, squirming a little bit on the bed as she twists at her ring finger. She sees his gaze drop down to her hands as his grin widens and Beth immediately separates her hands, twisting her fingers into the sheets instead. “Fine, but when you lose--” 

Rio immediately pounces, like he’d been waiting to twist her words into a bet. “Oh, but what if I  _ win _ ?” His eyes slowly travel down her body and back up and Beth digs her fingers further into the sheets. 

“The first pet I ever had was a dog.” Beth starts, purposely not answering his question, “His name was Buddy and he was the fluffiest golden retriever. Also, the dumbest.” Beth lets out a little laugh at the end and Rio cocks his head to the side as he watches her, eyes filled with mirth, the grin on his face fading into a faint smirk. He’s already enjoying this. 

“I broke my arm when I was around...” Beth trails off, squinting her eyes as she tries to think back on the details, “ten years old. Worst eight weeks of my life.” Her right hand crosses over her body to rest on her left forearm as she speaks. 

“I stole my parent’s car when I was younger, before I even knew how to drive. Crashed it into a bunch of trash cans on the curb.” She continues, faint smile on her lips, shaking her head at how absurd it sounds now. 

Beth looks to Rio when she’s done talking, waiting for him to decide. He’s quiet for a long moment, his attention solely on her, and Beth can’t help the way she fidgets a little under his scrutiny. 

It always feels like he can see straight through her, no matter what kind of front she tries to put up, he can always push past the bullshit, pulling the real her to the forefront, whether she likes it or not. 

“First pet, truth.” He finally says and she lets out a deep breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. 

Beth nods, “He was our first and last pet.” and Rio hums in acknowledgement as his eyes drop down to her top and she flushes as she realizes he wants...a  _ prize _ . 

Beth’s gaze drops down to her lap, her fingers coming up to play at the hem of her shirt as she nibbles at her bottom lip. She gathers the cotton material in her hands at each side, slowly and purposefully dragging the shirt up her body and over her head. She tosses it on the floor, shivering a little as the cool air of the loft hits her bare skin. 

Rio sucks his bottom lip into his mouth as he eyes drop to her chest and the red and black lacy bra covering her breasts. Beth can feel them straining against the material with each quickening breath. 

“Stealing your parent’s car, truth.” 

And,  _ god _ , the way his voice has dropped, strained and rough, his eyes almost pitch black, Beth can feel herself getting wet already, the anticipation of what he’s going to ask her to strip out of next almost unbearable. Beth nods again, “That was the day I met Ruby.” and she hates how shaky her own voice sounds. Rio smiles as he pointedly looks down at her jeans. 

Beth rolls her eyes and she hears him huff out a laugh as she shimmies out of them, throwing those on top of her shirt. 

“Breaking your arm,  _ lie. _ ” He finishes, pushing off the table and slowly making his way over to the bed, stopping at the foot of it. 

Beth nods once more, looking up at him through her lashes. “It was Annie who broke her arm.” 

She waits, breathless, wondering what he’s going to say next, what he’s going to  _ do _ next. 

The moment stretches out between them as he looks her over lazily and Beth presses her hands back into the mattress at her sides, resisting the urge to lean forward, to reach out to him. 

“Get on your knees.” 

Her breath hitches as a shiver rakes through her at his words—the way they sink into her skin, course through her veins—so she can feel them, feel  _ him _ , throughout every inch of her body. 

Beth does as he says, shifting up and turning, carefully positioning herself on her knees. Then, without any further prompting, because she  _ knows _ what he wants, she leans forward, dropping down onto her forearms. She chances a quick glance back at him and he cocks his head to the side, eyes dark and searing, and she flushes as she looks away, lowering herself even further, until her face and chest are pressed against the mattress. 

She hears Rio’s sharp intake of breath, his voice low and husky a minute later when he purrs, “Yeah, just like that.” 

Beth bites down hard on her lip. It takes everything in her not to squirm, not to rock her hips back, not to bring her hand up between her thighs and relieve some of the aching tension building there. 

She can hear the rustle of clothes behind her and she turns her head enough to see him drop his shirt to the floor and kick off his sweats. She lets out a slow shaky breath and waits. 

When she finally,  _ finally _ , feels the bed dip with his weight behind her, Beth can’t stop the moan that falls from her lips. 

Rio lets out a low chuckle behind her and when she feels his fingers ghost over her spine, she does rock her hips back then. Rio’s hands slide over the small of her back, pressing down, stopping her movements. “Patience, mama.” He murmurs, one hand sliding down, over her ass, in-between her legs, fingers sliding over the crotch of her underwear. 

“Oh sweetheart, look at you.” He teases, feeling the wetness through her panties and Beth closes her eyes as she pushes back against his fingers, needing more. 

And then he’s giving her more, yanking her panties down around her knees and sliding two fingers inside of her, and Beth lets out a tiny gasp as her hands fist into the sheets. 

His thumb brushes against her clit as he leans over her, pushing her hair aside so he can bite at her shoulder and Beth squirms underneath him, the feel of his weight pressing into her making her even more impatient. 

“ _ Rio _ .” His name comes out breathless, on a moan, as he pumps his fingers in and out and Rio straightens up, pulling his fingers out to work his boxers off and then he’s pushing into her slowly, but Beth is done waiting, rocking her hips back impatiently and Rio cusses as he grabs hold of them, rough fingers pressing into soft skin as he follows her lead, fucking into her harder, faster. 

He comes before she does, but keeps rocking into her, rubbing on her clit, pushing her over the edge, as she buries her face in the mattress, smothering her moans. 

After they clean up, Rio pulls her to him, almost on top of him, and Beth tries to wiggle a little further away but his grip just tightens. She’s not used to this, this way he’s constantly touching her, trying to keep in physical contact with her at all times. 

Beth finally settles, a little stiffly at first, but slowly relaxes around him as Rio rubs the rough pad of his thumb in gentle circles against her arm. 

Her lips part and then clamp shut several times, taking short breaths in every time, hyping herself up to say—god, she doesn’t even know what exactly,  _ something _ . But she can’t force the words out and it’s not until she feels his breathing even out, feels his body relax completely, peeks up at him to make sure he’s in a deep sleep, that she lets out a long low sigh. She tilts her head up to better look over the sharp planes of his face, the slight scruff there, the shadows cast across him in the low light. 

“Rio?” She whispers, carefully watching him for any little movement. He doesn’t so much as twitch. 

Beth lays her head back down against his chest, can’t face him to say what she has to say even in sleep. 

“I think...I  _ think _ ...I’m--falling for you and it... _ scares _ me.” Her breathing falters for a second and she bites down hard on her lip until she tastes blood. She squeezes her eyes shut against the tears that are trying to form, willing herself to stay calm. 

She can’t even talk to him like  _ this _ , how in the world was she supposed to clarify things with him when he was  _ conscious _ ? 

Beth breathes in deeply, counting to ten before letting it out slowly. She desperately tries to clear her mind, forcing herself to relax against Rio once more, willing sleep to take her away from her overwhelming thoughts and apprehension. 

\---- 

Beth sits quietly in her car for a few moments, head tilted back against the headrest, hands gripping the steering wheel, trying to calm the sudden queasy feeling rolling through her stomach. 

She thought she’d be used to hanging out with Rhea by now, but every single time is like the first time, filled with nervous butterflies and anxiety. 

Beth’s meeting her and Marcus at the park, but she’s been sitting in her car for the last fifteen minutes resisting the urge to open the drivers side door, throw up all over the ground, and then drive off. 

What was wrong with her? 

Were her growing feelings for Rio invading these moments with Rhea and Marcus? Was all the worry and doubt creeping in along the edges, tainting her time with them as well? 

Beth’s phone vibrates in her cup holder and she straightens up, letting go of the steering wheel to grab it. She swipes at the screen, opening up the text message that pops up. It’s from Rhea. Her and Marcus are here. 

Beth takes a deep breath as she sends a quick text back, reaching over to the passenger side seat and grabbing the insulated tote bag and purse there. 

She gives herself a few more minutes to compose herself and then gets out of the car to meet them. 

Rhea’s already at a bench off to the side and Beth’s eyes automatically scan the park, eyes almost immediately finding Marcus playing soccer with a group of kids out in the open space. Her heart swells a little as she watches him run around, a smile slipping through as he turns and finally sees her, a grin spreading wide across his face, an eerily familiar twinkle in his eye, and he looks  _ so much _ like his dad, it’s almost painful. Beth smiles back at him, giving a little wave, which he returns, before turning back to his game. 

Beth walks the rest of the way over to Rhea, setting her bags down on the ground and she settles in next to her on the bench. 

“Hey! Sorry I’m a little late--” 

“No, no, you’re fine, we just barely got here. Marcus found his classmate, who also happened to have a soccer ball, and that was it, he was done with me.” Rhea laughs, looking over in Marcus’s direction before turning back to Beth. 

“Yeah, he does that a lot.” Beth agrees with a chuckle. “How is he doing?” 

“He’s good. Finally over that stomach bug that was taking everybody out last week.” 

“Oh, good! I know Rio was a little worried.” 

“You did? Not many people that can read Rio very well.” Rhea teases, grabbing two water bottles from her bag and handing Beth one. 

“Oh yeah,” Beth says, taking the water bottle and twisting off the top, “His twitchy grumpy face is really hard to differentiate from his neutral grumpy face.” 

They both laugh, Beth taking a sip of water and feeling slightly better. 

“Seriously though, you two seem really good together. We were  _ never _ that good together. And Marcus adores you and I know how important that is to Rio. I’m glad he found you.” 

Beth fiddles with her water bottle cap, unsure of what to say. Should she press about her and Rio’s history? Should she politely thank her and move on? 

In the end, it’s Marcus running up that interrupts the moment, his excited “Ms. Elizabeth!” before he launches himself at her melting her heart and distracting her instantly. 

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” She asks, squeezing his arms before letting him go. 

Marcus steps back, bouncing on his heels as he eyes her tote bag. “Good! Did you bring orange slices?” 

“We have snacks, papi.” Rhea points out, exasperated and Beth laughs. 

“It’s fine, I  _ did _ , in fact, bring orange slices. Just for you.” Beth reaches over and grabs the insulated tote, setting it on the bench next to her to unzip it and pull the container of orange slices out. 

Marcus’s face lights up as Beth pops the lid and holds it out to him. He promptly grabs two handfuls and turns to run off, only stopping for the briefest moment to say “Thank you!” when Rhea scolds him. 

They both watch as he runs back over to his friends, divvying out slices amongst them. 

“He is so  _ bad _ .” Rhea jokes, shaking her head and Beth huffs out another laugh as she pops an orange slice in her mouth. She holds the container out to Rhea, who politely declines. 

“I don’t normally eat these, but I’ve been having this weird craving for them lately.” Beth says after she swallows, grabbing another slice before setting the container down in between them and moving her tote bag back to the ground by her feet. 

“That’s exactly why I  _ don’t _ eat them,” Rhea explains and Beth shoots her a quizzical look as she pops the next slice into her mouth, “I used to have the  _ worst _ craving for oranges when I was pregnant with Marcus. I used to send Rio out at all hours of the night to pick them up. It got to the point he was buying me huge bags of them every week. Now Marcus loves them. Go figure.” Rhea laughs as she stares off in Marcus’s direction, fondly remembering her pregnancy, as Beth chokes a little on the orange in her mouth, swallowing it down hard. Luckily for her, Rhea seems too distracted to notice that Beth now sits frozen beside her. 

_ Fuck _ . 

When was the last time she had her period? Beth racks her brain, frantically trying to pinpoint an exact date and starting to slowly panic when she realizes... 

_ She can’t _ . 

Was it before her and Rio got together? Was it before that very first night, after the dealership? 

If Beth pushes back far enough, she can vaguely remember her and Annie’s conversation about her check up at the OBGYN, the tests coming back clear but the doctor scolding her for... 

For missing her pills. Again. 

Beth feels her vision go a little white around the edges as she absentmindedly wipes her hands over her jeans, scrubbing them a little harder than necessary. 

“Beth? Are you okay?” 

Rhea’s voice snaps her out of her impending spiral and Beth plasters on a smile as she turns to her. 

“Actually, I am so sorry, I completely forgot, I have this thing with my sister, I think I need to head out.” Beth is already popping the top back onto the container of oranges, handing them over to Rhea, who takes them, a surprised look on her face. “Please, keep these for Marcus. And his friends. I’m  _ so _ sorry, we can reschedule soon?” Beth’s already gathering up her bags, Rhea nodding along as she watches her and Beth feels so bad for acting like this, for bailing, but she feels like she’s going to throw up and she needs to get out of this park. 

Beth power walks to her car, sliding into the drivers side seat and slamming the door shut, hunching over the steering wheel as she takes deep gasping breaths. 

This can not be happening to her right now. 

Beth can  _ not _ be pregnant. 

Can she? 

Beth’s swiping her phone open and calling Annie before her mind even has time to process her movements. 

Beth meets Annie at her apartment, a small paper bag already sitting in the middle of her coffee table when she gets there. They both stare down at it, neither one of them making a move to pick it up and take its contents out. 

It’s not until several minutes later that Annie realizes Beth  _ can’t _ take that next step herself, so she does it for her, grabbing the bag and gently taking Beth’s arm, leading her to the bathroom down the hall. 

They wait together, Beth staring anxiously up at the ceiling, unable to bring herself to look at the tests now lining the sink counter, as Annie anxiously watches Beth. 

When the timer goes off, they exchange a look, Annie sliding her hand over Beth’s, holding it tightly, before turning their attention to the two sticks in front of them. 

Annie looks back up at Beth, uncertainty marring her features. “Beth?” She’s trying to gauge her sister's reaction. 

And Beth... 

Well, Beth starts to cry. 

\---- 

Beth can’t remember, can’t quite pinpoint when, exactly (or even  _ why _ ) she’d decided she wanted kids. 

Was it because that was expected of most women, and thus, of her? Had she seen a tiny baby in passing one day and caught that infamous “baby fever” everyone had always told her about? Was it just Dean wearing her down, pushing the idea of family onto her until it stuck? 

What Beth  _ does _ remember, is every day of having to raise Annie. Of having to take care of things for her mom, of becoming the rational and reliable one, of shouldering all the responsibility her young body and mind could handle, nurturing Annie in the only ways she knew how, not really having anything to reference back on from her own mother. 

That instinctual need to care for and protect Annie, that need that later on formed with Ruby and then Dean—it was deep seated. It ran through her veins, it was settled deep in her bones, it wrapped around and bloomed out from her heart, and she felt it with every fiber of her being for the people closest to her. 

The people closest to her, which now included—Rio. 

She hadn’t been expecting him, honestly hadn’t even known what to  _ do _ with him when he’d suddenly appeared in her life. He was an enigma--the intrigue between them hidden in a puzzle, wrapped up in a (dangerous) mystery. Their mutual attraction upending the perfectly put together illusion she’d built her life around, their perfect storm eventually shattering everything around it. 

Her pandora’s box. 

The last few weeks, the last few  _ months _ , she’s been struggling with how to deal with the flurry of mixed, and very  _ strong _ , emotions that jumble up her thoughts, make her brain malfunction, whenever he’s around. 

And now... 

Now she has forced clarity. 

Beth is standing outside his apartment door, knowing she should knock, but unable to force her arm, her hand, to move from her side. 

He’s expecting her and she doesn’t know if that makes things better or worse. 

She knows what she has to say, has to do, and she’s terrified of his response. 

Beth finally, slowly, lifts her hand, knocking on the door, much lighter than she normally would, chastising herself for being such a coward to hope he won’t hear it. 

But, of course he  _ does _ , opening the door a minute later, tilting his head toward the interior of the loft, motioning her to follow him in. 

Beth steps over the threshold, closing the door quietly behind her and then trailing behind Rio, who heads straight over to the dining room table, where his laptop sits open. 

He leans down, his back to her, clicking around on the laptop. “’Ey, so Marcus been buggin’ me bout invitin’ you to his soccer game next weekend—” 

“I took a pregnancy test today.” The words spill past her lips like water, flowing out too fast and slippery for her to catch them, to  _ stop them _ , and  _ god _ , she regrets them instantly, wishes she could reach out and grab them before they reach his ears—bend and twist them, rearrange the words, the letters, into  _ anything _ else. 

But it’s too late and Beth nearly chokes on a sob as she sees Rio immediately stiffen, his entire body language changing on a dime. 

He straightens up, turning around slowly, rolling his shoulders back as he carefully schools his facial features and body language. “Is that right?” 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...It wasn’t--I’m not...” Beth pauses, eyes downcast as she tries to calm herself, her fingers flexing at her sides. She’s just about to start again when Rio interrupts her with, “That dumbass ex o’ yours finally got his family then, huh?” 

Beth’s eyes snap back up to his, hurt flashing across them even as she tries to hide it. She can tell it’s too late though—he’s already seen it. His jaw rocks as his body moves a fraction of an inch, like he’s holding himself back from reaching out to her. 

Beth shakes her head a little numbly, ignoring the pain in her chest, the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. “I haven’t--there hasn’t been...You’re the only person I've slept with for the better part of a year.” She manages to choke out, her hands balling up into fists at her sides, fingernails digging into soft flesh. 

“Thought you was on birth control.” And even though his words come out even, there’s a chill behind them that twists her insides up. 

“ _ I am _ ,” Rio opens his mouth like he’s going to say something but Beth keeps going, before he can throw any more razor sharp words at her. “I’m not...the tests were negative. I just wanted to be honest and let you know...towards the end of my— _ marriage _ , I was really stressed and sometimes forgot to take my birth control. And I was— _ we were _ dumb and irresponsible for not using condoms those first few times. But when I was—” Beth cuts off, swiping at a stray tear that slides down her cheek, cursing herself for crying in front of him,  _ again _ . Rio does take a step toward her then but Beth holds her hand out, stopping him. “When I was waiting for those tests to show a positive or a negative...It wasn’t the worst thing to imagine having a baby...with you.” Beth huffs out a laugh at just how ridiculous she knows she sounds, wiping away another stray tear. “I never—with Dean...when he talked about our future, our hypothetical kids...I  _ never _ felt the way I did while I was waiting on those tests today.” Beth sniffs a little, avoiding eye contact as she continues. “I just  _ feel _ this way about you, about  _ us _ , that I've never felt with anyone, ever.” 

Beth finally stops there, eyes focused on the wood flooring beneath her feet, bringing her arms up to cross over her chest, wishing she could go back in time and change the circumstances that had landed them here. 

She hears him move before she sees him, eyes closing momentarily when he comes to a stop in front of her. She feels his hand come up to tuck her hair behind her ear, his thumb stroking over her cheek, wiping away the fresh tears that have managed to track down her face. 

When she finally opens her eyes, she sees his scanning over every inch of her face, searching for...god, she doesn’t even know what. 

“I can’t be on uneven ground in a relationship again.” She says quietly, arms tightening around herself as she looks up at him. “Every time something shifts and I lose my footing, I have to shed a piece of myself to get back up again. I did it with Dean, and I don’t--I  _ can’t _ do it with you.” 

Rio stares quietly at her for a minute before bringing both his hands up, sliding them into her hair and leaning down, brushing his lips against hers in a soft kiss and Beth’s arms unfold, her hands coming down to grasp at his sides, twisting into his soft t-shirt. 

“You’re my girl. I’ll take care of you.” He presses his forehead to hers as he says it, momentarily breathing in her air, fingers tangling in her hair, before he’s pulling back. “C’mon. Wanna show you somethin’.” 

He leads her out of the apartment, down to his car, and then they’re off, headed through town and Beth wants to ask where they’re going exactly, but she has a feeling Rio won’t offer any explanations. They’re almost to one of the border crossings, when they stop along a quiet, quaint little street lined with small businesses. Rio turns the car off and gets out first and Beth hesitates for a second, before following. There are trees lining each side of the street, providing ample shade and Beth shivers a little at the breeze that travels through from the nearby lake, rustling the leaves. 

There are a few people out and about, and Rio grabs Beth’s hand, leading her through the small crowd, walking down a few feet, before he stops in front of a small shop on the corner, taking a key out and unlocking the door, pushing it open for her, gesturing for her to go in first. 

She shoots him a questioning look as she walks past but he just stares blankly back, not giving anything away. 

Beth rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated little huff as she walks further into the building. It’s a beautiful space, hardwood floors and large open windows lining the walls. There’s a small reception area dotted with lots of greenery, but Beth stops short as she walks past that and sees exactly what this space is used for. 

It’s a studio. A  _ music _ studio. 

There are various musical instruments, but Beth is fixated on just one, in the middle of the room, and she’s instantly taken back to that day she’d come home and found that baby upright in the middle of the living room, her dad coming in and pulling her into his side, squeezing her arm tightly. Annie squealing as she ran up to it, fingers tinkering with the keys, playing a horrible, off tune, made up melody and Beth had loved every key. 

Beth turns to look at Rio, who tilts his head to the side, surveying her, before lifting his chin toward the piano and Beth slowly steps toward it, running her fingers along the closed lid. It’s cool and smooth underneath her fingers and her breath catches as she turns back to find Rio still watching her. 

“What is this?” She asks, a little breathless and the corner of Rio’s mouth twitches up, like he’s holding back a smile, as he steps up to her. 

“Looks like a piano to me.” 

“ _ Rio _ .” 

“It’s for you.” 

And that...that knocks the breath out of her as she reaches her hand out, grasping the edge of the piano top, grounding herself. 

“Marcus is really gettin’ into music, so there’s some stuff here for him too.” He’s brushing over his last statement, trying to downplay it. 

“Who owns this place?” She asks, looking around again, taking everything in anew. 

“I do.” He answers easily and Beth turns back to him sharply. “I got a friend. Gave me a good deal.” He shrugs his shoulder, eyes darting away from her and Beth’s hand drops from the piano. 

“When?” She asks, the word almost a whisper and she thinks maybe he’s not going to answer her, but then—he does. “Few weeks before you showed up at the bar.” 

Before the bar. But after she’d stopped by and told him about her mom. Her dad. 

Beth’s body is moving before she realizes, surging up onto her tiptoes to meet his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down, and Rio is responding in kind, arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her body flush against his, backing her up against the piano. 

Beth lets out a little squeak as Rio lifts her up, settling her on top of the piano and she pulls away. 

“Rio! You’re not allowed to sit on pianos.” She scolds, trying to slide down, but Rio stops her, stepping between her legs, his hands coming up under her thighs and pulling her closer, wrapping her legs around him. 

“It’s my damn piano, I'll do whatever the hell I want with it.” He says, nipping at her ear and Beth lets out a breathless laugh as her hands come up to grip his shoulders. 

“Rio...” Beth breathes out his name, biting back a moan as his mouth trails kisses down her neck before biting at her collarbone. 

“Fallin’ for you too, mami.” He murmurs against her chest, and Beth freezes, his words echoing hers from the other night. Then his hand is coming up to pull at the v-neck of her shirt, mouth latching onto the swell of her breast and Beth gasps as her hand comes up to cradle the back of his head. 

And—okay. They have plenty of time to unpack that  _ later _ , Beth thinks, the contrast between the cold surface of the piano underneath her and the heat of his mouth, his touch, on top of her, leaving her breathless and wanting. 

Beth gives herself over to him, lets herself get lost in him, knowing he’ll keep her safe, keep her tethered, keep her  _ whole _ . 

And for the first time in her life, all of her doubts and fears slowly melt away, giving way to something secure, something safe and warm and just  _ hers _ . 

  
  



End file.
